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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my friend is treating me like her maid

928 replies

Grabhands · 24/08/2023 19:35

For context, this is a friend who I have known for years, haven't seen since before COVID. We booked and are on a 7 day all in beach holiday in the Med.

Meals are buffet service, tea service and cakes etc at certain times from a pool bar and a bar where you can go and get alcoholic drinks etc. At meal times waiters will bring you water for the table and you go to bar for anything else. Bar a few mins walk.

At every single meal we have had since arriving, she tries to send me to the bar to get her a drink, if I am going anyway absolutely fine, otherwise get your own!

She also keeps taking food from my plate to try it, with fingers , and then says can you go and get me some of that.

When I get desert, she gives me a list and asks me to bring back plates of various things.

Tea, she doesn't want to go to bar to get cakes, in case she misses some sun so again even though I don't want anything asks me to go.

I know its petty, and I'm usually easy going but after 3 days I have just said you go, you have legs too, and please stop taking food from my plate.

She is now very offended and huffing and puffing!

Am I being a cow?

OP posts:
uncomfortablydumb53 · 27/08/2023 18:00

How ridiculous she's asking you check out details when you're not even there
As shes bright and breezy you can just " smile and nod" on the flight and never have to contact her again

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 27/08/2023 18:07

This reply has been withdrawn

Message withdrawn by MNHQ

Merapi · 27/08/2023 18:11

cocoloco117 · 27/08/2023 17:53

Pray for OPs friend who much be starving and thirsty with no one to fetch her victuals for her for three whole days.

Pray for the staff at the hotel where OP's friend is staying, as they will have been rushed off their feet pandering to her every need for three days.

LylaLee · 27/08/2023 18:29

@GonnaGetGoingReturns

It's poor form to blast someone with highly identifiable details online. What would it have cost you to make up a name?

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 27/08/2023 18:34

LylaLee · 27/08/2023 18:29

@GonnaGetGoingReturns

It's poor form to blast someone with highly identifiable details online. What would it have cost you to make up a name?

Do you really think it’s that identifiable? Unless you’re her or one of our mutual friends?!

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 27/08/2023 18:37

LylaLee · 27/08/2023 18:29

@GonnaGetGoingReturns

It's poor form to blast someone with highly identifiable details online. What would it have cost you to make up a name?

Oh Rana! To be fair to me she was quite irritating and I think she didn’t last that long either there.

If you’re Rana or know her then please apologise to her for being an entitled Princess.

LylaLee · 27/08/2023 18:37

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 27/08/2023 18:34

Do you really think it’s that identifiable? Unless you’re her or one of our mutual friends?!

Show quote history

I presume you're in the UK. A female architect. From Lebanon. In the UK. Called x.

It's not like you've said 'A french au pair called Marie' of whom there will be hundreds. This is very identifiable as a specific person.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 27/08/2023 18:45

LylaLee · 27/08/2023 18:37

I presume you're in the UK. A female architect. From Lebanon. In the UK. Called x.

It's not like you've said 'A french au pair called Marie' of whom there will be hundreds. This is very identifiable as a specific person.

Show quote history

It really isn’t. I’ve just googled her and I can’t find her at all. I can’t recall her surname but I do recall vaguely what she looked like.

There is a very cool architect in London or Paris who trained in London called Rana but the one I knew was never cool enough or clever enough to do what she did.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 27/08/2023 18:46

LylaLee · 27/08/2023 18:37

I presume you're in the UK. A female architect. From Lebanon. In the UK. Called x.

It's not like you've said 'A french au pair called Marie' of whom there will be hundreds. This is very identifiable as a specific person.

Show quote history

Report my post to MN then and they will delete it. If you are Rana then let’s hope you’ve grown up.

Fabulousdahlink · 27/08/2023 19:05

I'd be getting a second room cardkey, booking myself on a day trip and disappearing for a day. Then not eating with her at meal times. Towel on a seperate area of pool to her.
When she asks why, tell her it's your holiday too and you are done with doing everything for her, so you're all sorted for yourself now. Catch you later !

Jemums32 · 27/08/2023 19:07

Sounds like she has social anxiety. It shouldn't lay on you to take it on. As her friend ask her if there is an issue.

LylaLee · 27/08/2023 19:07

>if you are Rana I hope you've grown up

You actually sound delusional.

Laura0076 · 27/08/2023 19:20

If it is a laziness thing then totally unfair yeh.

Does she have bad anxiety that you know of? I know I do and I hate those buffets! My anxiety shoots up! An If someone was going already and didn't mind getting me something I would find it a relief....but I'd never boss someone into going for me... I usually wait till someone's going and tag along, save going on my own.. but I'd most likely explain that it gives me anxiety. And certainly wouldn't just expect someone to do it for me.

I hope she stopped her sulk and it hasn't ruined your holiday x

wheelywheelynice · 27/08/2023 19:40

OP has moved hotels because of her behaviour and she doesn't even have the grace to apologise!

Mehmeh22 · 27/08/2023 20:04

LylaLee · 27/08/2023 19:07

>if you are Rana I hope you've grown up

You actually sound delusional.

Just a TAD extreme. Christ the bun fights on this thread ...UNCLENCH!

ihadamarveloustime · 27/08/2023 20:08

I can't believe she messaged you re checkout times, etc when she could go down to the front desk and ask herself! Oh wait, that was her entire M.O.

BanditsOnTheHorizon · 27/08/2023 20:29

I hope you told her you didn't know what time she needs to vacate the room etc, she's more than capable of speaking to reception herself

Longdarkcloud · 27/08/2023 20:56

Well I daresay she’ll end up having to wait on her parents when they get too elderly and infirm to be at her beck and call.
I have a relative who immediately, without a second thought, when asked to fetch and carry will say “What did your last slave die of?” The response is generally good natured.

LookItsMeAgain · 27/08/2023 22:10

Why didn't you reply saying that she's going to have to check with reception what time she has to check out as you're not staying in the same hotel anymore so it's not your concern?

I wouldn't have answered with a particular time. Get her to check herself.

EarthSight · 27/08/2023 22:29

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 27/08/2023 18:34

Do you really think it’s that identifiable? Unless you’re her or one of our mutual friends?!

Show quote history

It is because I think I've just found the right person.

EarthSight · 27/08/2023 22:31

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 27/08/2023 18:46

Report my post to MN then and they will delete it. If you are Rana then let’s hope you’ve grown up.

Show quote history

I don't like entitled, bossy people who expect other people to be their P.As, but you do sound like a bit of a twat in this post.

LylaLee · 27/08/2023 23:00

> the one I knew was never cool enough or clever enough to do what she did.

This part was my favourite Mean Girl impression.

Maybe the princess is a bitch, but PP is a different flavour of nasty.

M4J4 · 27/08/2023 23:03

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 27/08/2023 18:46

Report my post to MN then and they will delete it. If you are Rana then let’s hope you’ve grown up.

Show quote history

Sounds like you’re jealous tbh.

Lebanese women are stunning.

cocoloco117 · 27/08/2023 23:15

BanditsOnTheHorizon · 27/08/2023 20:29

I hope you told her you didn't know what time she needs to vacate the room etc, she's more than capable of speaking to reception herself

I hope OP told her she has to vacate the room by 7am.

beyourownchampion · 27/08/2023 23:30

It’s making me angry reading this OP, and sad she’s treating you this way. I’m afraid I would be raging and I’d explode. and then that would be game over for our friendship, I’d be ‘done’. Who needs a friend like that anyway? She sounds like an entitled princess type who needs telling….