To think my friend is treating me like her maid

[Grabhands]

For context, this is a friend who I have known for years, haven't seen since before COVID. We booked and are on a 7 day all in beach holiday in the Med.

Meals are buffet service, tea service and cakes etc at certain times from a pool bar and a bar where you can go and get alcoholic drinks etc. At meal times waiters will bring you water for the table and you go to bar for anything else. Bar a few mins walk.

At every single meal we have had since arriving, she tries to send me to the bar to get her a drink, if I am going anyway absolutely fine, otherwise get your own!

She also keeps taking food from my plate to try it, with fingers , and then says can you go and get me some of that.

When I get desert, she gives me a list and asks me to bring back plates of various things.

Tea, she doesn't want to go to bar to get cakes, in case she misses some sun so again even though I don't want anything asks me to go.

I know its petty, and I'm usually easy going but after 3 days I have just said you go, you have legs too, and please stop taking food from my plate.

She is now very offended and huffing and puffing!

Am I being a cow?

She pursed her lips into a cats bum and stropped off

What an entitled nutter! I really hope you can find a way to enjoy the last part of your holiday - probably hiding from her.

She has a thick hide, doesn’t she? Like many others ‘what did your last slave die of?’ would have been the first thing out of my mouth, and something I say frequently to my kids. The not getting herself a drink when you’ve already refused is just odd though - is she really so lazy she’d rather be thirsty than go get one herself or is something else going on?
I’d get her a drink etc if I was getting one but I absolutely would not be juggling plates or making additional journeys for her. It’s really weird that having been called out on it several times she hasn’t got the message.

That is such odd behaviour. I can't believe she's still doing it, even when you've already had words with her about it.

So frustrating. Normally you offer a drink as going to bar. Later you offer again and the other person says "no, i will go you queued last time" even if they aren't ready for a drink yet. She is the exact opposite and taking the piss. Well done for speaking up.

Well done OP.

She’s kind of gloriously weird though isn’t she? I mean what does she think is going to happen next? Does she imagine you are just going to do all these little services if she bulldozers on? Entertaining.

Don’t get upset by her nonsense. If she gets cross just say you just don’t want to run round getting her stuff for her but otherwise everything’s good.

Reminds me a bit of my sister when she's feeling anxious!

Thanks everyone, she came back, she got housekeeping to let her into the room. Has now gone to the beach , a bit frosty, so I shall have a relaxing day, told her I didn't fancy lunch in the main restuarant and would grab a snack from the pool bar later.

I think she sounds like a nightmare. Always wary of going on hols with friends for this reason. You should have a nice last few days anyway OP .Read and relax! I wonder if she has been away with anyone else and what they thought of it?

Good work OP. Hopefully she will get the message.

What a nightmare! Hopefully she’s got the message but somehow I bet she’ll end up the victim in all this

"Pursed her lips into a cat's bum". That really made me laugh!

Her behaviour is so bizarre, I've never heard of anything like it. Maybe the odd lazy request when you're already going somewhere, but not to actually put you out.

Well done for pulling her up on it, and I hope you enjoy what's left of your holiday.

The worst thing about this is that you are compromising what you want to do. There will be times now when you want food or a drink but won’t get it for yourself because you know she will automatically ask you for something. I would really resent that!

Well i must be an uber bitch because I absolutely would get myself something and if she asked me to get hers too I'd just say NOPE.

Somehow that last one has done it for me. I can sort of get being so lazy that you don't want to move when you're comfortable even if it means you've got no book or drink, but to get housekeeping to let you into your room because you can't be arsed to get your key when you're up anyway...

(How did they know it was her room? Is that a security breach?)

OP you have made the mirror

I'm afraid that is exactly how I feel.

Don't like getting up during meals even to get a napkin as I know she will say can you get me a bread roll, some more chips and etc

Don't have the balls to say no!

apple.news/A-FLfBMhoQ5Gan3OWjxGrlQ

I think you must be on holiday with my mum OP. I have to (not) grin and bear it but you definitely don’t! Tell her to move her lazy behind and get it herself.

I really hope that is a joke!!!

I can hardly comprehend this person.

So so weird.

Enjoy your relaxing day op

Your desire to avoid confrontation is very understandable but the unspoken resentment will seep out. Presumably there has been some value in your friendship that has now been lost. An honest assertive discussion can clear the air and save the relationship.

You say not going to tea/to the bar has not sunk in. You've not stated clearly that you are fed up with running around after your friend. Maybe you could try something like "Oh, did you fancy a night cap? I could too, will you get me one as well?"

Your alternatives are:

Avoid her and the situation which is in essence hiding and running away and not very enjoyable.

Capitulating and getting things for her. Possibly using the passive aggressive technique of getting it wrong all the time.

Assertively stating your feelings while respecting hers and establishing clear boundaries.

It's up to you what you do

Hysterical

If she asks you to get something for her again, that’s your opener to say, “Is everything okay? You keep asking me to go and get things for you. I don’t mind taking it in turns, but unless I’m getting something for myself, I don’t understand why you won’t go and get the things you need for yourself, so as I say, is everything okay?”

You get your point across, while giving her a way to explain herself/agree to share the errands, without her looking bad, as you’re not accusing her of bad behaviour. Might bring the niceness back into the holiday.

Oh you do have the balls to say no. Of course you do. Just be factual not reactionary. She’s totally not worried about your feelings stop worrying about upsetting her. What’s the worst that could happen?