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Original poster

Worst damage your kid has ever done

345 replies

Poopatrolonthetoiletroll · 23/08/2023 17:42

Currently counting down the days til the DC go back to school. The constant mess is fraying the ends of my sanity. What's the worst mess or damage your DC has ever done.

Worst for me is my toddler DC did a massive poo on the floor and when I went to get stuff to clean it up with they repeatedly rammed their vtech toot toot elephant through it. Absolute carnage and huge tears when I wanted to throw it away. No it was. Not the carpet but getting all the poo out of the elephant and sanitising it.

Bring on September

OP posts:
Titfortat78 · 23/08/2023 23:01

Two with autism so there are more poo carnage stories than I can remember. Once at Butlins my son had a bit of a tummy bug. He took his nappy off and smeared diarrhea into the sofa and himself. I didn't know which to clean up first . I got DS in the shower then put him in his room while I went to sort the sofa out before DD sat on it. Luckily we had booked silver accommodation and the sofa's were leather. But only had washing up liquid shower gel and wipes to clean it up.

Esgaroth · 23/08/2023 23:02

My son aged 3 drew little circles all over the car bonnet with a stone. Seems to be a common one judging by this thread. Luckily it's an old car and we didn't really care all that much, though we were very emphatic that he must never do anything like that again as if it had been a neighbour's car it could have been a disaster.

Now 8 and 6, my two haven't done anything truly spectacular yet. Fingers crossed it stays that way!

AMessageToYouRuby · 23/08/2023 23:04

@Eaudesud Glad to entertain, tbh most of it has entertained me to some extent. I mean it was that or take a permanent room at The Priory.

@Beenhereforever1978 Combination of them putting the empty wrappers back in the tin, and then also adding in my lovely little Christmas tealights to I guess, see what would happen? Can't remember if there were actual flames but lots of smoking as MIL flapped and tin was rushed out the back door. Things like Xbox controller through window or burying of car keys were for a long time what we considered a non-event.

Just mentioned this thread to DH and he reminded me of the fish incident. DS2 very deftly grabbed a large fish from a Majorcan market stall and tried to slap other boys with it trying to replicate some sort of cartoon joke. Seller was very unhappy and treated DH as a sort of Fagin. Had to pay for the whole thing and the guy wouldn't dispose of it for us so morning from hell ensued. Had nowhere to keep said fish but DS4 then became hysterical about us throwing it away, wanting to hold it etc.

Museya15 · 23/08/2023 23:11

Knocked Gatwick airport Christmas tree over, damaged lighting, bins the whole change.

Equimum · 23/08/2023 23:14

We were living abroad in a serviced apartment when eldest DD was a toddler. One evening, DH and I were putting laundry away in the bedroom and DS found a permanent marker in DHs work bag. Within minutes he had decorated the white leather couch, walls, parque flooring, TV screen and other bits of furniture. Although we were able to sort some bits, the bill we received was absolutely enormous!

GrimGrinningGhosts · 23/08/2023 23:18

When DS was about three he wandered into my parents kitchen to get his juice. He was back almost instantly so I didn’t realise something was amiss until I smelled the smoke. He’d decided to be helpful and dry some socks my mum had left on the counter top by actually hooking them over the bars of the gas fire. I ran in, socks were burning, saw the neighbour in her garden and literally threw DS over the fence and ran back in to put the fire out. That went down as well as expected with my mum 😂

Also DS, two half eaten hob nobs in my dads very expensive video and he broke my FILs shed window at least four times playing football.

DD. Dragged one of those monkeys with magnetic hands over the screen of a brand new TV. We’d had it about a month.

DD got in the front of MILs car, decided to be helpful and lean over to push the drivers door open for MIL only there was a van coming down the street which took the door clean off. Brand new car, less than 50 miles on it. They’d had it 24 hours. I thought FIL was going to implode.

midlifecrash · 23/08/2023 23:20

I have never had kids, or a car, or a permanent marker, and I am astonished at how different my life could have been….

Unicorn2022 · 23/08/2023 23:23

Threw my DH's MacBook out of the loft window onto the patio
Microwaved my DH's new iPhone
Accidentally smashed the shower cubicle into smithereens
Somehow broke the passenger side car window so it just dropped right down into the door and never came back up, so the door had to be taken apart to recover it
Not damage as such but opened up a sofa sized bean bag and distributed the beans all over the living room. We found beans in weird places for the next year

bluebeardswife7 · 23/08/2023 23:25

Wrote my name and mobile number on the wall of a market stall in my local area with a suggestion I was available for sex. After my 6th pervy phone call dp phoned them back to establish where they had found the number. We went to the market and found my details with a sketch of a rabbit underneath which my daughter had been drawing all over the place at the time.

OrwellianTimes · 23/08/2023 23:26

7 year old Drew a 6 foot long very hungry caterpillar on the wall in biro. It dented the paintwork. I can still see it. I was speechless.

bluebeardswife7 · 23/08/2023 23:26

We covered over my number but the subsequent conversation with dd ShockHmmConfused

Unicorn2022 · 23/08/2023 23:29

Just remembered something I had mentally blocked out - my DS took a shit in the B&Q display toilet while we were distracted for a few minutes trying to pick up a new shower screen

My teen DD while pretend tidying her room managed to throw a pair of knickers onto her lamp which she didn't realise until they started a small fire. The smell was horrendous

Beenhereforever1978 · 23/08/2023 23:32

@AMessageToYouRuby write a book. I'm begging you.

The fish story elicited an actual physical LOL (YES, AN ALL CAPS LOL)

LouHey · 23/08/2023 23:32

DD2 has ADHD and poor impulse control - I got my monies worth out our accidental cover on my insurance when she was growing up! It would be easier to list things she didn't break.

GrimGrinningGhosts · 23/08/2023 23:33

GrimGrinningGhosts · 23/08/2023 23:18

When DS was about three he wandered into my parents kitchen to get his juice. He was back almost instantly so I didn’t realise something was amiss until I smelled the smoke. He’d decided to be helpful and dry some socks my mum had left on the counter top by actually hooking them over the bars of the gas fire. I ran in, socks were burning, saw the neighbour in her garden and literally threw DS over the fence and ran back in to put the fire out. That went down as well as expected with my mum 😂

Also DS, two half eaten hob nobs in my dads very expensive video and he broke my FILs shed window at least four times playing football.

DD. Dragged one of those monkeys with magnetic hands over the screen of a brand new TV. We’d had it about a month.

DD got in the front of MILs car, decided to be helpful and lean over to push the drivers door open for MIL only there was a van coming down the street which took the door clean off. Brand new car, less than 50 miles on it. They’d had it 24 hours. I thought FIL was going to implode.

I will add to this that DS ended up working in the fire service as an adult so maybe this triggered it 😂
DD did not find a career in TV or Car repairs….

DuesToTheDirt · 23/08/2023 23:35

@GrimGrinningGhosts , your kids are spectacularly talented. Grin

ItstimeToMoveagain · 23/08/2023 23:39

Ds4 broke quite a few tvs when he was younger

All the talk of paint reminded me of the day exp treated all the decking etc and ds3 found a tin of gloss and decided to paint over it with that

He also found some felt tips from somewhere, he had much older brothers and drew all over the livingroom walls the day after exp had painted them

TortoiseWhoLovesStrawberries · 23/08/2023 23:39

When my DS was aged 4, he sneaked outside to wash my car. A kind gesture, or it would have been had he not used a washing up scourer.

Five or so minutes later and the paintwork was nicely dulled.

thaegumathteth · 23/08/2023 23:40

Dd (2 and newly potty trained) was hiding as part of a game with her cousins at grandads house. When they found her she had been so determined to win she had wet herself and it had went though a heating vent and under the floorboards. 🤮

Thelonelygiraffe · 23/08/2023 23:42

truthhurts23 · 23/08/2023 20:50

soooo many

. poo painting, all over the window, the wall, in crevices bed sheets
. broken tablets and tvs
. got hold of sudocrem and vaseline and went to town
. slime messes, impossible to remove once hard
. pouring all my beuatiful smelling shampoos and soaps to make "soup"
. glitter explosions

im going to stop there, everything in the house is now wipeable or covered

Do your dc have SN?!

GrimGrinningGhosts · 23/08/2023 23:42

DuesToTheDirt · 23/08/2023 23:35

@GrimGrinningGhosts , your kids are spectacularly talented. Grin

I’d like to say they don’t cost as much now, but one got married last year and the other has just bought a house. DH and I will never be rich 😂

Thelonelygiraffe · 23/08/2023 23:42

Gerrataere · 23/08/2023 20:50

Last few months? 1 tablet, thrown down the stairs. 1 tablet jumped on in rage. One bedroom wall deliberately stripped of wallpaper. Bedding ripped out so new duvet. Used the tumble dryer door to climb up onto the counter, snapped it off. My bed, slants broken from jumping so often on it. Tv pushed over and broken. Two different curtain poles need replacing and rehanging due to Tarzan episodes. All I can remember for now 😑.

Wtf?!

chillpizza · 23/08/2023 23:42

Ds and dd crashed a golf buggy into a static caravan. We told the guy no don’t let them in there with the keys but he was sooooo sure it was fine.

other than that. Ds peed on the Christmas tree as a toddler and him and dd both did the whole writing the others names on stuff they shouldn’t have.

Sparkleshine21 · 23/08/2023 23:44

@Gerrataere omg my autistic daughter is the same! I recently got her a mid kitchen for the garden with pots and pans, plastic boxes and tubs and gave her all the rice and herbs etc from the kitchen that I don’t use. She has a whale of a time out there for hours making potions

neilyoungismyhero · 23/08/2023 23:48

My 15 year old walked through a friend's patio door thinking it was open. No safety glass, luckily a neighbour rushed him to hospital. I can't remember if I offered to pay at the time but I didn't.