Worst damage your kid has ever done

[Poopatrolonthetoiletroll]

Currently counting down the days til the DC go back to school. The constant mess is fraying the ends of my sanity. What's the worst mess or damage your DC has ever done.

Worst for me is my toddler DC did a massive poo on the floor and when I went to get stuff to clean it up with they repeatedly rammed their vtech toot toot elephant through it. Absolute carnage and huge tears when I wanted to throw it away. No it was. Not the carpet but getting all the poo out of the elephant and sanitising it.

Bring on September

as a child i got in a strop with bossy older sister babysitting asking me to make her cups of tea slammed the glass kitchen door and broke it.

dd barged into a brand new sideboard knocking over a wax burner so it had wax all over it the day it was delivered

worst one for me was not dc but dh when dc were younger we didn’t have much money to do up the house we decorated the the dining room new table curtains etc I bought colour coordinated ornaments to finish the room off because we had cats and dc who had accidentally knocked things off occasionally mainly the cats dh in his wisdom decided to try out his new glue gun I think testing it out expecting them to be tacky glued every single ornament to the window ledge before I had even decided where they were going then smashed every single one trying to move them. I got in my car and cried that I can never have anything nice in my house

We'll shout out for myself first as a cocky early teen - i grabbed the car keys and told the parents I would put the car in the garage off the drive. They thought I was joking. I wasn't! Jumped in car, started it and drove it straight into the corner of the brick built garage! Roof fell in on car! Carnage. Parents were so cool about it. They are so cool even now, to me their 51 year old daughter.

My kids? most excruciating was my little toddler deciding to scribble all over my best friends immaculate white suite of furniture that had recently been reupholstered. Marker! My bff was also very cool about it. I am blessed with cool and forgiving family and friends.

Ds1 was 3 and I was being put under huge pressure to toilet train him despite not being ready. We had to replace 2 consecutive sofas during that year before he finally got it. All my other dc stayed in nappies until they were ready and apart from dc4 who has learning disability they were all dry before starting school.

Dc5 nearly killed us both during his birth.

Dc3 managed to destroy about 3 months of dh's work when he was about 3 or 4. One of the few times I have seen dh cry.

I was once carrying a pot of white paint through my secondary school, I have no idea why but I was with my (dishy) drama teacher so he must have asked me to. It had no lid and for some stupid reason I decided to swing it up above my head whilst walking. It went everywhere, all over the corridor and myself and my teacher. Absolutely mortified.

When I was about 5, I wrote my brother's name in biro on the back of an armchair (chose his name so that he would get the blame for it). All went swimmingly until DM pointed out that he was 2 or 3 and could not yet write his name...

My 3 year old DD got a stone off my parents drive and scribbled on the bonnet of my Dad’s Mercedes with it. There were just circles and circles of scratches in the paintwork. She’s also caused havoc with pens on walls, carpets and sofas.

In our house DS2 drank his milk too quickly, threw it up all over brand new sofa (we hated the damn thing ever afterwards).

In 2012, just before Olympics opening ceremony, DS1 playing on the Wii, didn’t use in the strap and flung the Wii controller into the TV. That was an insurance claim.

In 2016, again around Olympics time DS2 was having a strop, probably because he was told to turn off the PlayStation. Threw the controller on to the sofa. Bounced off the back and through the window.

I also think DS2 as a small child smeared poo on the walls of the childminder’s downstairs loo. She took it well, all things considered.

Took our twins out the other day and while I was strapping one in the car after a walk the other very kindly scribbled all down the passenger side with a stick hubny wasn't impressed when we got home and I said erm babe our new car has scribbles in the paintwork

Ha ha. That’s fantastic and must have looked amazing!!

I know of a couple of children who were killed by falling fireplaces. X

Apart from the usual smashed ornaments/ phones, and not actual damage but...
When dd1 and 2 shared a room, we noticed a horrible smell had developed. We looked everywhere, even in the eaves of the loft, under beds, but couldn't locate it at all. No matter how I cleaned it seemed to get worse and worse!
About 5 months later, I finally discovered the source: they had one of those little toy kitchens, and, although the kitchen unit itself had been searched and found innocent it transpired that the teapot on the hob was full of piss!!!! And had been fermenting for months.. Ultimatums were given, and ds owned up as the culprit, even though we all knew it was dd2 and she'd threatened him into owning up

yes! is it that obvious ?😂a lot of it was sensory seeking , its improved slightly with age x

Our 5-year-old was full of charisma, initiative and leadership. Our 4-year-old was bigger, and biddable: he would do anything for her.
A claw hammer. A door. A few minutes when I was elsewhere doing something else.
There was almost nothing left of it. Panels knocked through, ripped out, shredded... everything. It was impressive.
And it wasn't even our house. My husband is a clergyman so it was church property.
(What fun it must have been!)

Accidentally headbutted me in the face just a couple of weeks before my wedding. I nearly bit through my upper lip and it was swollen until days before.

Dishwasher stopped working, water all over the place, ruined the laminate. The cause? around 30 carefully inserted alphabet magnetic letters found in pipe.

Gave me a massive varicose vein during pregnancy which I am considering saving up for and having removed privately (once I've decided 100% I don't intend to get pregnant again). 😅

Apart from that lots of cosmetic stuff we're not bothering fixing till he's older, chunks out of the engineered oak floor throwing his toys, scratched and dinged furniture, pen scrawls all over a (thankfully cheap) fabric storage ottoman from wilkos. And general broken toys from playing too rough.

Just going to count it as general preschooler wear and tear and that we've got away fairly lightly considering how rambunctious he is. I'm amazed the telly hasn't copped it, he loves brumming his cars right next to the screen on the media unit and generally bounces round the house like a labrador puppy (even though we go out every day to run off his beans)

DD made a 'potion' with my Clarins skincare, she mixed it all together including a very expensive serum! 😭

Also have found that a full tub of talcum powder mixed with a full bottle of baby oil can do considerable damage when smeared over every surface. They (aged 2 and 3) were watching c-beebies calmly went I left the room, and had created a "special ladder" of other furniture items to gain access to it in a remarkably short space of time.

My two year old dropped my brand new iPhone down the toilet then said "splosh!" In a very pleased tone! 🤦🏻‍♀️

My ds ran out of bubble bath and decided to use my olaplex shampoos for his 'experiment'.

@CoffeeCantata If that was my sofa I wouldn't have charged you. Kids are kids

Pulled over tv while climbing up on the side. Insurance replaced.

Also snuck into our bedroom (babysitter didn't hear him) and opened my make up bag and smeared (a lot of) make up onto the quilt cover. Not as expensive as tv but it never completely washed out, so reminded us every time we had it on our bed.

My dc put her hands in my face oil and put visible handprints on the wall in a private rental. When we left, the landlady took 750 pounds out of the deposit to get it painted, as she wanted the paint in other rooms to match. Outrageous but we didn't bother challenging her because we just wanted to move on.

DD - three TVs, all thankfully covered by insurance.
DS - multiple windows and glass panels plus about 10 plates and cups (he has dyspraxia, but we made a fuss one time and after that "it just fell out of my hand" happened a lot until I started studiously looking out of the window any time something smashed and it rapidly stopped.)

So many things, pulled tv over and broke it, smashed the glass in a door, by slamming to temper, broke neighbours satellite dish when kicking a football, broke electric car window, again slamming the door in temper. DS1 about 7 often walked in his sleep, and starting weeing from the landing, one night, on to the coats on the bannister underneath. As a toddler DS1 rang 999 when I was putting the baby in his cot, I had no idea till the police called me to check we were ok.