Worst damage your kid has ever done

[Poopatrolonthetoiletroll]

Currently counting down the days til the DC go back to school. The constant mess is fraying the ends of my sanity. What's the worst mess or damage your DC has ever done.

Worst for me is my toddler DC did a massive poo on the floor and when I went to get stuff to clean it up with they repeatedly rammed their vtech toot toot elephant through it. Absolute carnage and huge tears when I wanted to throw it away. No it was. Not the carpet but getting all the poo out of the elephant and sanitising it.

Bring on September

DD threw a ball in the living room which hit the wax melt holder with a black wax melt in it. It went all over the cream walls and cream carpet, took forever to scrape off, sand, repaint and still can see the stains on the carpet 😩

Broken lats ( bouncing on beds)in wooden bed, 17 year old son playing baseball inside hurled ball and right through back door all glass, totally smashed.

Same son driving left few marks on my poor car too.

youngest about 3 decided to colour small patch on carpet of hotel we were staying in had about €150 taken out of my card.

Destroyed kitchen chairs by swinging on them and chairs rickety then.

Cat came in window and somehow knocked over my new 4 slice expensive toaster and was plugged in so left dangling from plug so didn’t work.

puppy ate through her expensive orthopaedic bed, shredded it, same with one of my new unworn toms ( shoes), one my son’s football boots and one of his runners ( she wasn’t in his good books for few days).

Probably few more but can’t recall atm.

The joys of humans and pets.

Should add, most of this is accidental, as a consequence of very poor executive function, including impaired ability to recall and follow instructions, imagine consequences, or self monitor.

My son aged about 5 was with his dad while polishing the car. He thought he’d help and picked up some sandpaper from the garage and started polishing the bonnet…

This is hilarious 😆 🤣

Four boys here. What haven't they done?! They are fearless terrorists chasing adrenaline. We have framed on the wall the photo taken of DH, hand clasped to his forehead, in the ruins of the bannisters and understairs cupboard they took out. BIL took the photo, I was on DAY 1 of a holiday at the time and it has never been fully explained to me how it happened.

My favourite was when a 6 pack of coke was thrown by one to the other, but he ducked. Shattered the oven door, on Christmas morning when I was hosting around 20 people.

Other festive incidents have included knocking down the entire Christmas tree, setting fire to a tub of quality street and stabbing deeply into a finger with those little forks you used to get in packs of dates.

It has been relentless and I hope they all have feral children while I retire abroad.

Remember as a child, having lots of groceries piled on my pram and a bag on my lap... hurling potatoes down the road at cars. Feel like karma is fast approaching, as mine are 2.5 years, and 8 months 😬

My three year old throw his dad’s Rolex out of the bedroom window after he was told off . It was only found as our neighbour was gardening and saw him throw it through the small gap . Watch was smashed but at least it was found. It would have been lost forever in the rose bush .

@AMessageToYouRuby Sounds tough, but I have to say this is the best thing I have read all day.

Reminded me of me!

Early one morning I decided to clean the piano…the keys with Vim ( to ‘whiten them’ - as you do🤣)

Of course the powder, once wet, goes all mushy. I carefully scrubbed the surface of each key with the mushy Vim…. which worked its way into the gaps between each key.

Once dry, I was horrified to find that when I played, every key stayed pressed down and couldn’t be played a second time.

Yes we've had this too, brand new Volvo ruined.
Another memorable event was when the 2and 3year olds removed all the wallpaper off their holiday cottage bedroom overnight. We had to pay for an emergency redecorator and the owners were never the wiser.
My cousins kids turned a tap on their farm and released thousands of gallons of milk.

I have follow up questions on the Quality Street.

Mainly....HOW?

We had a "sports day" at our house every year with friends and their kids.

My lot pottered off for a bit and then came to sheepishly tell me that one of them had decided to paint white lines on the grass for the races like they did at school but something had "gone wrong"

somehow they'd managed instead to spill a whole tin of gloss paint on the living room carpet.

Quickly resolved with a carpet washer in one hand and a glass of wine in the other. My friend couldn't quite fathom how I remained calm. She had daughters.

My friends daughter nearly ruined a very expensive painting by blowing bubbles. I found this out when I brought some bubbles along for her at a party in a posh friends house only to have them removed immediately with the words "she's not allowed bubbles near artwork after....the incident" 😃

Our dogs over the years have done far more damage than our three boys, greenhouse, sheds, windows broken numerous times so replaced with plastic each time. Eight year old being tormented by his older brother yet again put his fist through the bedroom door. They were both so shocked the older one quit his tormenting

This is my favourite one

Eldest when younger kicked me in the face during a meltdown and I had to have two teeth removed as a result.

@spiderlight similar here. DD, then 7, threw up all over the back of my friends husbands new very expensive car. He's still talking to me bless him but I was mortified!

DS1 broke FIL's car wing mirror with a stone. He was 2. I have no idea how. My back was turned. I heard the smash and DS1s wail of shock.The mirror and the frame had to be replaced. FIL wouldn't hear of us paying but it was a lot of money on his insurance claim.

DD dropped DH's new ipad down 2 flights of stairs . It was about £1200. He'd had it 3 weeks. Totally fucked. She was 3. She said 'Oops! Sorry Daddy.' He never batted an eyelid. Said he saw her do it and she totally didn't mean to. She spent a couple of hours saying 'Didn't it make a noise!' and 'Are you sad Daddy?'

DS2 painted in Opera Pink acrylic paint on a white sofa in my painting room. It now has emerald green velvet covers I made, because the stain wouldn't shift. I take the blame. The paint was mine and I answered my phone- I thought he was quiet. It was up holstered in white linen and I had to try and clean it in situ. Wouldn't come out and I spread the colour. He said 'Pretty.'

My brother was sent home from Scout camp aged 12 for setting fire to a huge swathe of Scottish hillside and forest after playing with a magnifying glass. 6 fire engines my Dad said.

My son is severely autistic with a learning disability. He doesn't understand right from wrong. Your children obviously do, and i'm pleased for you genuinely.

You can impose whatever consequences you like on my DS, he does not have the capacity to understand.

Not every autistic/ADHD child is the same.

And he's not badly behaved, it's meltdowns.

DS once microwaved 2 sets of car keys and DH's wallet. Cost £450 and a lot of hassle to replace the keys and we couldn't drive one car for ages whilst the manufacturer sorted replacements . Also had to replace bank cards as they were fried.

DS smashed two TVs in quick succession, and my work laptop screen, all in the first fortnight of lockdown. One TV was by throwing a plastic cup at the baddie in a cartoon. The laptop was by swinging a belt around his head and the buckle hit the screen. I had to confess to work. He was 5.

Same child scratched his favourite name into the new dining table. It still says ‘Ray’, which is not his name.

Oh, and he managed to knock down a number of pictures on the hall wall by playing football on the stairs. When yelled at he went upstairs and broke a radiator playing football in his room (not on purpose). He came racing downstairs looking horrified to say that there was water shooting out of the radiator.

He also dropped his grandma’s house key down a drain and they had to call an emergency locksmith. Luckily DM said it was her fault for letting him hold the keys.

DD painted nail varnish onto the leather sofa. And drew on it with biro. As a toddler she locked herself in the car and we had to break a window to get her out. If this happens to anyone, breaking the smallest pane (the triangular ones) is not the cheapest because they are harder to replace.

That makes two of you pissing then! 🤣🤣

When my girls were two and four, a strong smell woke me up in the middle of the night, I got up to find they had climbed up the shelves in the airing cupboard and had got into the red gloss paint. Both had stripped naked and covered themselves from head to toe like it was some sort of lotion 😱you could only see the whites of their eyes, of course this meant it was also all over the hall walls and carpet 😩 it took many many baths to get out and was still trying to get it out of their hair when my oldest started school. I cried a lot that week but my mum told me I would laugh about it one day. She was right of course 😁😂

The little one also announced to the whole post office I had my period by shouting “my mummies bum is bleeding!!”😳

And in the same post office managed to get under a rather large ladies skirt and came out shouting “ that lady has ginormous pants!!”

Just the tip of the iceberg with this one 😁 she has three boys now and the youngest two are giving her a run for her money 😂

over 10 bed frames, 3 mattresses
two living room carpets.
set fire to a toaster.
3 shed windows.
multiple glasses and crockery.
Countless toys
a PlayStation
a tv stand
several wardrobes, chests of drawers and assorted furniture.
2 handrails.
a microwave.

all by one child. Isn’t ADHD/ASD fab 😬