To not buy her new trainers?

[Grealish]

My DD (12) got new trainers in March for school PE. We got her a pair of Skechers because they’re comfy and she’s never had any interest in fashion or trends. Well now she’s starting secondary school in a week and she’s told me that these shoes will not do. They’re still in perfect condition, and still fit her perfectly. She’s shown me the shoes she wants and that everyone apparently has and I told her that we will get her shoes like that when she out grows these ones or she wears them out/they get ruined.

Well I should not have said that because we came down this morning and her shoes had been cut up. She claims it was the dog. It’s mad how dogs can chew exactly like scissors! Told her we’d have to get rid of the dog if he was chewing things, trying to make her fess up but didn’t work haha.

Anyways I just want to know what you would do in this scenario. She needs trainers for PE and she plans to do Basketball after school so she can’t not have trainers. I’m tempted to buy her the same shoes again but that seems like a waste. The shoes she wants are the same price but that feels like rewarding her for destroying her runners. She gets €10 a week pocket money for doing bits around the house, so I could buy the ones she wants and say it comes out of her pocket money for the next 8 weeks or so. Ahhh I just don’t know what’s the answer in this scenario. Not sure what the balance is between teaching a lesson and not being a bitch.

My 8yo loves his cos they’ve got flames on them!

Can’t find an exact pic online but they’re just plain black, not a big S logo on them or anything.

Can’t understand what everyone is saying about Skechers - my DD13 wears them and hasn’t batted an eyelid 🤷‍♀️ (or been bullied!)

My DC are 11 and 10, they both wear skechers. They are fully black trainers. Neither have complained and DS is happy to wear them for pe in high school because they're so comfy.

I would 100% be taking it out of her pocket money until they were paid. I would be fuming if a perfectly good pair of trainers were cut up. They could have been sold to go towards the other shoes she wanted!

Just ignore, they're alluding thay you've made the conversation with your children up. I personally find it more shocking/disappointing that some parents on here can't possibly comprehend being able to teach their children that there is more to life than product branding, but to each their own.

Imagine sending your kids off into the world allowing themselves to feel bullied for not having the latest stupid craze product? You should be strengthening your kids against blatant consumerism, not encouraging it. There are far worse things in life than not having the most popular brand. As a previous poster has already noted, some folk don't even have shoes at all.

Honestly… you have many people commenting on this thread there kids have wear sketchers … not every teen cares .

Your Dd is not one of these .. either people have made comments or she is worried about others commenting . She is heading into teen years - not self assured … worried what others think, wants to fit in …. She will reach the point she doesn’t care but not now .

if it makes you feel any better … I did the same to a pair of school shoes . I loved in the shop … hated once I got to school . I grew up a well adjusted adult who now wear’s sketchers to work after many years of wearing winkle pickers for many years

Well as a PE teacher I do see a lot of trainers!!! I also think there are better more supportive sports trainers available for the money!!

I remember having hi-tecs in the 90s and they definitely didn’t do my street cred any good!

Oh god, my 87 year old gran has sketchers.

Shallow as it may be, shoes and trainers are a big deal at high school.

They all seem to want Nikes now thanks to that twat off YouTube Mr Beast.

I'd buy her the trainers she wants but only after she's admitted to cutting up her trainers and apologised.

OMG! I forgot about hi-tecs! The shame!

She's realised that they aren't trendy and her brain has panicked.

Big chat about cutting up the trainers and make her pay half the price of new ones.

And realise that being trendy and wearing what everyone else is - that's a big part of teen life at secondary school

ETA Sketchers would be social suicide here. They're for more mature ladies not teens (according to DD aged 20)

What is this edited magic and how does one edit????

She ASKED you to get her other shoes. She DOES care. She ALREADY knows the kids will take the piss out of her so much so she destroyed them regardless of the consequences rather than wear them.

Punish her if you have to but bloody listen to her. Skechers are NOT suitable for a 12 year old starting secondary no matter how many people here tell you..oh my child wears them and they are super cool.

They really are not. They should come with a free bus pass and a over 50's plan.

Don't make her do the Skechers stride of shame.

@moistclam thank you, this thread is honestly one of the most depressing threads I’ve ever read on mumsnet and I’ve been here since 2008.

I feel so sad to think that some people’s DC would be picked on if they can’t afford the coolest shoes or for having their own sense of fashion. I know teenagers can be brutal and high school is tough. Imagine if we taught acceptance of others instead of having grown adults spouting rubbish about old woman’s shoes and social suicide. It’s easy to see where children get these ideas from.

Honestly, if your kid doesn't care about what they put on their feet - bravo. Well done you.

But many children do. And many parents remember how horrible it feels when you are younger and feel different and 'less than' because you can't keep up with the latest fashions.
I remember being absolutely desperate for a pair of Adidas poppers.
Asked for some for Xmas, but they just weren't in my mums budget, and she got me a generic, off brand pair. I was gutted.

I hope I'm always in a position to help my children fit in in this way.

A free bus pass and over 50s plan 😂😂

This.

My family didn't have the money for clothes. I had one coat - it was my school coat. Two pairs of shoes - one pair of trainers, and one pair of school shoes.

Never quite the right sort of clothes, always the market knock off

I was bullied.

I did different for my kids.

If my child cut up her shoes to make me buy her new ones she'd be getting the next pair from cheapest place I could find ie Aldi or Asda.

Can't believe people are so chill just because it's Skechers and they're not cool so therefore it's fine to cut them up!

Also surprised how many parents will follow the crowd and buy whatever is in fashion just so their kids fit in. That's just giving in to bullies. Bullies will always find something to pick on you for regardless anyway

You don't need to make it easy for them though.

Those 'spouting rubbish' have lived through getting picked on at school for having the 'wrong' stuff. If my kids took the piss out of someone over their clothes they'd get the bollocking of their lives but unfortunately not all parents teach their children to be accepting of others so damn right my kids aren't going to school in shit trainers.

Social suicide? Really?

Absolutely pathetic. No wonder 12 year olds are worried about these things when adults make comments like this.

I would be making her pay for the new ones purely because of the way she ruined her perfectly fine trainers, I'd also explain this to her that it's a punishment.

Sorry but you're just giving in to bullies. If they want to bully your child they'll find another reason if it's not shit trainers.