Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel worried for this womans saferty and wonder why she isnt?

174 replies

girlfriend44 · 23/08/2023 13:31

Looking out the window in the middle of the night was a woman walking down the road in shorts and alone.

I was wondering why she dosent feel scared, I would?

Yes she should be able too. Yes it dosent matter what she was wearing, but really would you want your daughter to do that? I wouldnt and wouldnt do it myself.

I wonder if some people dont listen to the news and why they arent scared that they will be attacked or abused walking along in the early hours. Do they think it wont happen to them?

We all know what some men are like, its on here often enough?
Remember that I do know women should be able too and it dosent matter if she was wearing a bag on her head, clothing has nothing to do with it really? but you just have to wonder why?

Was she brave or silly and would you have felt worried for her?

OP posts:
Singleandproud · 23/08/2023 13:37

Do you live in a particularly dangerous area?

I would happily walk around my area in the dark. My mum walks to work every night at 9pm and back at 6am so both journeys are in the dark she's just going about her life, obviously she doesn't walk down alleys she would in the day and stays to well lit streets but she certainly isn't living her life in fear.
I would be more careful if I was walking home near a busy town with more drinking / pubs where men have been under the influence.

10HailMarys · 23/08/2023 13:38

She was neither brave nor silly. She was simply a woman walking home. And no, I wouldn’t be worried about her unless she seemed to be distressed. Clothes irrelevant.

Do you also worry about women you see driving in a car in broad daylight? Or simply being at home with their partner? Because those women are at far, far more risk of harm than a woman out alone after dark.

FWIW, when I was sexually assaulted in the street I was wearing office clothes and it was 6pm on a bright summer day, in a busy area. Was I ‘brave’ or ‘silly’ to have on my way home without a chaperone when that happened? No. And neither is the woman you saw.

donkra · 23/08/2023 13:41

...I think you sound stone bonkers.

"Woman walks at night" is not a rare or significant event. It's just a woman living her life in the world. What she wears when she's out living her life has zero bearing on what happens to her.

Of course I walk alone at night. I have places I need to be and I like walking. Nothing has ever happened to me doing so. And if it did - it would be the fault of the person who did whatever they did. Women are, in any case, most at risk at home.

Original poster
girlfriend44 · 23/08/2023 13:41

Do you live in a particularly dangerous area?

nowhere is safe is it?

OP posts:
PaintBySticker · 23/08/2023 13:41

Do you mean she was only wearing shorts and no top?

If shorts and a top that’s a perfectly normal outfit. I walk alone at night. I don’t consider myself to be taking ridiculous risks when I do. If I didn’t I’d feel my life was unreasonably restricted.

Clefable · 23/08/2023 13:41

Too many variables! I would happily walk in shorts in the dark down our village high street; I'd happily do it on the busy main street of our city if I'd been on a night out (and have many times, not in shorts but 'going out' clothes in my younger years). There are places I wouldn't do it.

I honestly wouldn't have thought anything of it unless there was some reason to be concerned: if she was struggling to walk cos she was under the influence or if she was being followed by someone or was in a really bad part of town going down a badly lit alley.

PaintBySticker · 23/08/2023 13:42

I suppose nowhere is completely safe. But you weigh up the risks and benefits. Living an independent life is something I value.

Justcallmebebes · 23/08/2023 13:42

Depends entirely on the area surely? I often walk dog late at night on my own and have never felt unsafe

Plus I would not want to lead my life terrified of what might happen

So no, a woman walking alone at night, in or not in shorts, wouldn't even cross my radar as something to be worried about

AquamarineGlass · 23/08/2023 13:44

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

cocksstrideintheevening · 23/08/2023 13:45

If she was wearing a balaclava, coat and long trousers would be worried?

You sound a bit bonkers tbh.

SecondhandSalute · 23/08/2023 13:45

You sound quite mad. I walk home at night regularly (city centre), taking sensible basic precautions. When we lived on the edge of a village and I couldn’t sleep, I would often throw on a coat over my night clothes, grab a head torch and go for a walk in the fields/woods. I’m not reckless, but I’m not prepared to curtail my movements because of fears.

Elphame · 23/08/2023 13:46

I often walk around the village at night so I'd be vaguely curious but would have forgotten about her 2 minutes later.

Should women be kept under curfew and not allowed out alone after dark?

ToughFuss · 23/08/2023 13:46

She was neither brave nor silly imo. Unless you live in a truly horrendous area, there’s no reason she shouldn’t walk down the road in perfectly normal attire. Life is full of risks, you just have to weigh up whether a risk is reasonable to take. Do you drive a car? That’s a very unsafe activity after all.

Cas112 · 23/08/2023 13:47

Should only men walk the streets at night time? This is crazy

dottypotter · 23/08/2023 13:48

I would not want my daughter doing it. I would be worried, there are so many so many weirdos around. Would not want her to take take the chance.😯

dikwad · 23/08/2023 13:49

This isn't going to come across well but I hope people know what I mean!

I would rather take my chances being attacked by potential evil people than spend my life being under a self imposed curfew wearing clothes that are considered safe because of a quite, in my opinion, irrational fear. I won't do that.

Leafcrackle · 23/08/2023 13:49

Depends where you live.

I've felt safer walking home from a friend's at 2 in the morning, than nipping to the shop at 8 at night. Fewer Kids around at 2a.m.

Rockschooldropout · 23/08/2023 13:49

I’m assuming she needed to get from a to b
I didn’t realise woman weren’t allowed out after a certain time at night or only if they wore trench coats

Leafcrackle · 23/08/2023 13:50

And the dc are more likely to be attacked by other kids, on the way home from school, then I am.

IfICantHaveYou · 23/08/2023 13:50

girlfriend44 · 23/08/2023 13:41

Do you live in a particularly dangerous area?

nowhere is safe is it?

Edited

You are being ridiculous!

NerrSnerr · 23/08/2023 13:50

If there was a man lurking in the shadows looking for an opportunity to rape a stranger it would not matter if she was in shorts, a mini dress or joggers and a long coat. He'd do it anyway.

GingerIsBest · 23/08/2023 13:50

I think that lots of women choose to walk around at night because we don't want to restrict our lives. Most of us also take sensible precautions - perhaps such as walking down a well lit road with the sort of houses where people are neighbourly and looking out for each other?

Horriblewoman · 23/08/2023 13:52

This is ridiculous! Do you stay at home from November to February when it gets dark after 4?

OriginalUsername2 · 23/08/2023 13:53

girlfriend44 · 23/08/2023 13:41

Do you live in a particularly dangerous area?

nowhere is safe is it?

Edited

Did you manage to edit this? I didn’t know that was a thing.

IfICantHaveYou · 23/08/2023 13:53

Edit button is new