Would you date a pedant?

[ArcticPurple]

DP's pedantry is really getting to me.

I spent a lot of time abroad and once accidentally used the American spelling for "gray". He knew what I meant. He knew I was picking the grey shirt. But yet I got a "?" and "did you mean the grey one?".

We know precisely ONE Cate. I was talking about going over to Cate's house for brunch as I do fairly frequently. Every time I get "Cate?" Hardly Cate Blanchett's house is it!

I have a friend whose name is pronounced an unconventional way. I say it the way she says it. Every time I bring up this friend he corrects the pronunciation to the "right" one. Sometimes he talks about how phonetically the way she pronounces it doesn't make any sense.

We have yet another delivery coming along next week. I said it's scheduled to arrive at around 1. He says I need to specify if it's 1pm if it's an afternoon delivery because "who knows".

Every discussion basically devolves into an argument about semantics, it's boring.

YABU — This would not bother me.
YANBU — I couldn't date someone this pedantic.

I am a pedant myself but that level of pickiness would annoy me.

Oh another one that really gets to me. Let's say we are talking about something in general. He will list niche exceptions and fringe cases and yes, I know those exist but I can't even talk about something without acknowledging all the exceptions to the rule!

What a bore.

He doesn't sound very kind OP.

That would boil my piss. The arrogance of the man, correcting your friend on her own name. He sounds like a prick.

I'm pedantic but he’s an arrogant twat. I couldn’t stand him.

A pedant I could live with but he sounds like a twat as well, and that I couldn’t live with

I married one.

On occasion it shits me up the wall and I tell him to wind his neck in.

Thankfully though he is good tempered enough to laugh and agree he's a pain in the arse. So that's okay.

He’s not a pedant, he’s just an idiot. People who have to be right all the time or think it’s funny to pick holes in anything anyone says are just tedious people who usually have nothing genuinely funny or clever to say, and this is all they have.

Does he have any good points that outweigh this?

Yeah, I’m quite pedantic but he sounds ridiculous. It’s obvious what you mean in all your examples so it seems like he just enjoys correcting you.

Especially the name thing. I’ll admit that it might annoy me the first time I saw it, but then it just becomes that persons name. Who is he to tell someone what their name is?

One time though he corrected his arsehole, arrogant, supercilious brother on the correct pronunciation of Moet et Chandon.

That was a nice moment. I forgive him alot for that.

My DP and I are both quite pedantic in some ways, but what you're describing actually goes well beyond pedantry and a long way into 'tedious goady cunt' territory. Your boyfriend is a patronising prick. He's like a Twitter Reply Guy, but in real life.

I'm the pedant in my relationship. Guilty of all of these. Really hate when my DH says 'I'll be home around tea time' and we recently had a row because I was fed up of him saying 'I'll be leaving handy in the morning' when asking him his work schedule, because I do actually need to know the time to work out if I need to book breakfast clubs for etc but also because it isn't the correct use of the word handy and it's just annoying. Half the time it corrections are light-hearted and should be taken that way but often I do really hate the vague replies because I need to plan appropriately. I accept I'm probably autistic, I do have a diagnosis of severe ADHD. I was raised by very pedantic autistic family members. When people correct my mistakes I thank them rather than feel annoyed, but I do appreciate that neurotypicals would rather be wrong than corrected.

I dated one once and he just got worse and worse despite knowing I'm severely dyslexic.
Then in one week he tried to correct my spelling of segue and discreet and got them both wrong. I've never been so happy to give someone a taste of their own medicine.

Have you told him he’s being annoying?

It sounds like a really bad habit.

He's not a pedant, he's just a twat.

It's one of those situations where you think
Well if this is his only bad quality maybe I can put up with it
And then a few years down the line you end up on that TV program Snapped: Women Who Kill.

Told him multiple times that he's being annoying and I am sick of it, but apparently everything has to be detailed and precise and "right" all the time.

Yuck. No. Sounds boring and arrogant.

I'm not pedantic, I'm accurate, particularly in terms of spelling and grammar, and I have an excellent memory I don't like the use of 'pedant' on here to mean someone who prefers correct, fluent writing and no text speak. I am with him on people who mispronounce their own names obviously, I use, to their faces, the pronunciation they favour, but that combination of letters does not make that sound. It's wrong, not a variant. BUT I think that privately. I don't say it aloud everytime DH mentions his friend Yvonne, pronounced Wy-vonny (invented example, I suspect this is an urban legend like Guy pronounced 'Goo-ey'(

But this man is a classic pedant, and an arse with it. Or does he have some kind of short term memory problem that prevents him from remembering that your friend is called Cate, not Kate? And as no one imagines that Amazon are going to rock up after midnight, he's just being a pain.

He sounds unbearable.

This isn’t pedantry. He’s just trying to be clever and is making himself look a fool. Mispronouncing someone’s name because he thinks his way is more correct than the way she says it herself isn’t insistence on correctness, it’s a weird kind of belief that he’s right when he’s clearly wrong.

This. Our house is pedant city but neither of us descends to that.

I like people to say what they mean rather than be vague or mind read. I don't like vague plans. But even I know that arranging at 1 will be 1pm and not 1am!

But I'm here because what on earth does "handy in the momring" mean?

DS does this sometimes. Luckily he is young enough to grow out of it. It's no good being right all the time if everyone finds you insufferable.

Unfortunately there are corners of MN the internet that encourage this type of thing