Would you date a pedant?

[ArcticPurple]

DP's pedantry is really getting to me.

I spent a lot of time abroad and once accidentally used the American spelling for "gray". He knew what I meant. He knew I was picking the grey shirt. But yet I got a "?" and "did you mean the grey one?".

We know precisely ONE Cate. I was talking about going over to Cate's house for brunch as I do fairly frequently. Every time I get "Cate?" Hardly Cate Blanchett's house is it!

I have a friend whose name is pronounced an unconventional way. I say it the way she says it. Every time I bring up this friend he corrects the pronunciation to the "right" one. Sometimes he talks about how phonetically the way she pronounces it doesn't make any sense.

We have yet another delivery coming along next week. I said it's scheduled to arrive at around 1. He says I need to specify if it's 1pm if it's an afternoon delivery because "who knows".

Every discussion basically devolves into an argument about semantics, it's boring.

YABU — This would not bother me.
YANBU — I couldn't date someone this pedantic.

Can he walk on water? Until then, he must humble himself on earth.
He thinks you are not intelligent-sorry.

I can write fast and make mistakes as time is money, so it is either that or you wait for months until I can write a perfect email. But then I have negotiated billion dollar settlements with an iron fist, so who cares! Far more life or death situations than to be on alert 24/7 at home ffs.

What I get in return is "why would you not want to learn" or "why would you not want to communicate more effectively"

This is so frustrating, not least because he seems to be starting from the assumption that he's correct, and that he should be the one to teach you. (Which is really annoying and condescending)

I wonder how he would respond if you asked "why do you not want to communicate more effectively with me? I have told you that I find this really frustrating and it makes it really hard to have any kind of conversation with you. Why do you always assume I'm the one who has to learn from you? Why can't you just connect with me instead of editing everything I say?"

I can sympathise very much with you, I know this would drive me crazy and I wouldn't be able to tolerate it long term. If nothing changes, do you have enough in the rest of the relationship to feel happy/supported/loved? I think that's the biggest question I would ask myself. You deserve to feel happy and like an equal partner in the relationship, not talked down to.

I used to date someone who corrected me a lot, so I used to deliberately mispronounce things to keep him occupied.

I just couldn't help myself and would take it further to wind him up.

Cate?
Yes, Cate Blanchett, we're besties on instagram now.

Gray? Did you mean grey?
No, no, the Gray, one that shade between puce and magenta, do make sure you find the right one.

1 pm you mean?
"No! Of course it's 1 am. Do be a dear and make sure you're awake for the delivery".

Be more annoying than him.

Are you my twin? I too would be tempted! Lol lol

WFH is truly a curse with this relationship. Was rushing to meet some deadlines today, and DP wants to borrow my iPad. I say it's on the bookshelf.

DP stands there and asks which part of the bookshelf it's on. We have 1 bookshelf in the living room with open shelves. It's not a big bookshelf and if he actually walked to it he'd find it within 1 minute or less. But no, he has to stand there asking me which shelf it's on etc. I don't bloody know. Everything has to be explained and clarified it never ends.

@ArcticPurple , he was probably asking because a set of shelves with a back is a bookcase, and by saying bookshelf he was making a point because you used the wrong term.

He is an arse, constantly picking at you.

‘Dear pedant, the time it took you to ask which of part of our one and only bookcases the iPad was on - you could have gone over, used your eyes and be using it…

I wont be engaging in any pedantic, puerile or what I consider ridiculous conversations further and expect you as a somewhat fully functioning adult to use your power of vision and deduction and extraordinary logic to figure things out.

And as an aside - I will definitely be making all 1 o’clock appointments for you to be at AM rather than PM henceforth’

I wouldn’t answer that. “You’ll have to sort it out” or “I guess if you can’t figure it out you won’t be able to use my iPad”

XH sometimes corrected me when I was actually right. But he knew he must be right because decades ago when he first heard the word he looked it up and made a note of it. The fact that he'd miscopied it just never got through to him. It was written in the Magic Notes, therefore it must be correct. As for the dictionary, "you told me yourself they just make it up as they go along" (not at all what I'd said, but how he chose to interpret it). Why am I not still married to this prime specimen, you ask? (Yes, I did put the question mark at the end of that sentence. Sue me.)

He also used to whistle a few phrases of the Toreador March from Carmen, but always got one note wrong. Like, aaaaaargh.

Are you planning to marry this charmer?! You must be desperate. What if you get pregnant then babies- forget toddlers etc yet. I couldn’t live with someone like that.

Do you have couple friends, OP? How do you get on when you're socialising together with other people?