Children on train seats!

[gg45]

It drives me mad when I see children over c6 yrs old not offering train seats to adults (esp older adults) standing in aisles on commuter trains (I have no problem with longer journeys when people have booked seats- but several commuter options you can't). When I was brought up we were expected to stand for elders. What is wrong with the world? AIBU??

So, yes that was rude. I would be thinking ‘fuck off’ in my head but I certainly wouldn’t say that to you.

I would definitely recommend asking other adults in the future, instead of little kids. I’m sure most of them would be happy to give you their seat.

I don't see why an able bodied adult should have a seat over a child? Such an outdated view. Do you also believe a woman's place in the kitchen?

Get over yourself.

I totally agree with this. I've seen plenty of twattery from people of all ages including an elderly lady (in her 70s?) who simply shoved my then 7 year old DD roughly aside in the supermarket. DD had just been holding my hand while I was looking at something.

I brought DD back into position and gave the idiot a death stare. She backed off

Train seats are first come first served. I would give mine up for someone who clearly needed it more, but I find it increasingly difficult to stand myself these days due to balance issues.

I think children are just as entitled to seats as adults. I remember travelling by train with my then 3 year old. I was eight months pregnant with my next child at that stage and simply couldn't have had her on my lap as my bump was so huge. She couldn't have stood either though, so I think you should keep your judgement to yourself. It can be very ill-informed.

Exactly. Why should we encourage our kids to pander to entitled strangers? Why do they think that they deserve a child's seat that they have never met before? I'm wondering how I would even explain this to my daughter. "There is a strange man over there that we don't know, we know nothing of his character, but just because he is older than you, can you please stand up and get jostled around and squidged between other strangers. You're much smaller and won't be able to hang on properly anywhere, and might find yourself uncomfortably pressed against adults that you don't know, but this many has lived longer than you. Yes I know you have no idea who he is, but he wants what you have so get up!"

When dd was small she would sit on my lap so someone else can sit. My parents did the same with me when I was a kid. I think 6 is too little to stand but that don’t need their own seat either.

How does a child sitting in a seat mean they think they are the centre of the universe any more than an adult sitting in a seat does?

I am visibly disabled, and use a stick. At least a couple of times a week I have to stand on the bus, while kids stand on the seats, while 5he mothers pretend to be busy on their phone…

What about all the other healthy adults on the bus? It’s them we should be having a go at, not kids.

I can't stand the mentality of you have to respect someone because they are your elder. Respect is earnt, not given. There's absolutely no reason why an able bodied adult has more right to a chair on a train than a child, whatever their age. First come, first served.

A toddler, sure as an adult I would plonk them on my lap and offer the seat, but 4+ no.

Are they on the allocated disabled seating?

Disabled or pregnant, or elderly, YANBU but anyone should offer their seat to these people.
Other healthy adults YABVU. What people who have an ‘in principle’ issue with kids sitting don’t seem to realise us that trains are HORRENDOUSLY set up
for kids to stand. Nowhere to hold on, no space to move etc. it’s actually really unsafe if you can’t reach the railings or tops of seats. Add into that that kids rarely understand cues for things like the train is about to stop/ start/ someone’s getting off, plus the behaviour of other commuters can be dreadful (pushing, barging, arguing) it’s really not fair on the child. Think about it logically.

Good old-fashioned manners cost very little, yet over the course of a lifetime reap amazing rewards. Pity the children whose parents are too shortsighted to see that.

I love the irony that we need to teach children to be considerate and respect other people while people like OP are not being considerate or respectful of other people.

The majority of reasons pregnant women, elderly and disabled people need seats on public transport also apply to children.

Danger of getting hurt on a moving vehicle? Yup
Unable to safely hold onto rails? Yup
Unstable/not strong to counter the movements of the vehicle? Yup
Risk of being knocked over by other passengers? Yup

Plus the risk of children getting separated from guardians on a busy vehicle.

I think you need to learn to respect other people and question your sense of entitlement. Personally I think your post is really rude.

Small children used to get put in the luggage rack. Maybe we should go back to that 😂

I would rather give up my seat, show my children a positive example and allow the elderly person to sit down. I wouldn't want to risk my child getting hurt.

no if they fall they bounce , and adult can break bones. Always made mine sit on my lap rather than take up a seat for adults.There is no way i would have let my children sit when adults were standing. My only exception would be on a long train journey when i booked and paid for their reserved seat even when they were under 5 and should be free.
Im 60 now and thankfully tubes are full of polite adults and i get offered a seat all the time. But its really annoying to see little children taking up seats when they could sit on a parents lap or squish up and share a seat if necessary

@OnedayIwillfeelfree Clearly kids shouldn’t be standing on the seats. But I agree with others - the fault is with the adults who didn’t move for you. The mums should’ve got their kids to sit down though. I hate it when people have their shoes on something others sit down on.

What’s wrong with the world, you ask OP? People like you, full of their own self importance and wanting to inflict the rigid rules and misery they were burdened with as a child, on the rest of the world. Just to make themselves feel better and less hard done by.

The world can’t fix you by making six year old children stand in train aisles. You’ll have to fix yourself.

(Children aren’t second class citizens by the way)

I remember once being on a bus with my young son, who had the window seat. Suddenly out of the blue and old man, who was getting off the bus, laid in to me about not giving up our seats for him and his wife. I’d never laid eyes on him before, never spoken to him, didn’t know he existed. I felt really humiliated as it was in front of everyone. If he’d wanted the seats he should have bloody asked me in the first place and why pick on me just because I had a child. My son is adult now but it still winds me up and shows elderly people can be just as obnoxious and entitled as anyone else.

When I travel with the kids (7 & 9) on shorter distance trains where you can’t book then if there are seats together we sit down. If not we’d stand or wait for another train. If someone infirm, pregnant etc got on we’d offer the seats but otherwise it’s first come first served and no I wouldn’t get the kids to stand or to offer to stand. I equally wouldn’t expect someone else to stand for them to have a seat. I find it crazy you think it’s somehow entitled for a child to have a seat that was available when they got on the train which they (or their parents) bought a ticket for. My kids are no more (or less) able to stand for a short distance than my parents who ee I a their 70s for a short distance. If there was one seat we’d likely put the 7 year old in it if train was busy as she’s still only up to below chest height for me (5’6”) and is the most likely to be knocked down if people were pushing on/off.

Surely there often wouldn't be anywhere for a child to stand near their seated parent without them getting in the way? Also, a child under a certain height is going to get bumped and jostled a lot.

👏

Oh jeez, so you don’t even want the seat? You just want your ego and sense of self to be fed by a 6 year old child? That is so messed up.

YABU. First come, first served unless someone is pregnant, elderly, disabled etc. Arguably, children are more in need of the seat than a fit and well adult as they are the height where they get elbowed, hit by bags etc if they are stood up and are too short to hold the ceiling rails for stability. Also for their safety. My 6 year old is no less worthy of a seat than you. Thankfully we've moved past the days of treating children like a lesser being 🙄