Children on train seats!

[gg45]

It drives me mad when I see children over c6 yrs old not offering train seats to adults (esp older adults) standing in aisles on commuter trains (I have no problem with longer journeys when people have booked seats- but several commuter options you can't). When I was brought up we were expected to stand for elders. What is wrong with the world? AIBU??

I would say a child may possibly need the seat more than an ABLE bodied adult (I'm not talking about elderly or disabled).

I live in London and from where we live we occasionally have to travel in rush hour by bus or tube, eg to connect with longer distance train journeys or possibly for appointments. So I've not experienced having to get commuter trains. However, on busy trains I think smaller children probably need to sit down more, and I find it really difficult to stand/keep my balance. My sons are teenagers now and taller than dp (they've both been taller than me from 12) and I think they could stand. I was shocked once, some years ago now, when we were seeing dp's elderly mum and mum's slightly older sister off home on a train which was also an afternoon commuter train by a man on his laptop who wouldn't even move up to let one of them sit down in an empty seat next to him.

I do find it hard to stand but I would never expect a small child to give up a seat for me and actually I wouldn't expect it of many people. I once had to stand, while 7 months pregnant, 1.5 to 2 miles I think, up the road north of Kings Cross station before I got a seat because of selfish adult male football fans, and I did think that was bad. They were occupying priority seats as well as all the others downstairs.

I do think that everybody should be more considerate about blocking empty seats or moving their bags - I see a lot of public transport where people think their bags have more right to a seat than people who have paid a fare or are entitled to a bus pass by age, disability.

Also, surely you don’t expect the young children to initiate this do you? I was very shy and nervous around strangers, I would never have asked if a strange adult wanted my seat. Are you criticising the adult with the child for not initiating it, if so why have a go at the kids?

I was on a busy tube the other day, two mums four incredibly noisy kids aged about five to three all in seats, fine. But one boy about five kept getting up and running over to sit with the others opposite him. A man got on and sat in his empty seat. Boy started kicking off screaming about how that was his seat. I would have told him too bad, you moved, share a seat with your sister (which he was doing anyway) but instead the mum asked the commuter to get out of the seat for her son, which he did very politely. and apologetically But i was gobsmacked. Talk about teaching entitlement.

@Maxus I'm an adult. I've also been stepped on, pushed and had bags in my face/whacked over my head on a cramped train journey.

Nobody would ever say I deserve a seat more than anyone else.

In answer to the question, I wouldn't expect anyone to give up their seat (adult or child) for me. Nor would I give up mine for anyone who wasn't obviously elderly & struggling, pregnant or disabled.

This is not a universally held view. I was on the tube last night and a mum got on with a couple of little kids and proceeded to give out about “healthy men who won’t give up their seats for children ”.

Little kids are safer sitting down and probably deserve a seat more than many able bodied adults. 10 plus they can generally manage as well as adults, but below that it’s a different story.

If I was expecting a child or anyone else to stand up for me, then I would class myself as the borne of the "me, me generation". Your upbringing may have failed you.

There have been many thread about this recently, it's getting boring. Essentially children shouldn't have to stand for random adults, no. A parent has paid for their seat so would obviously prefer to sit next to their own child, it's basic safety. If trains over sell the tickets it's their fault Essentially. I've had to stand on long journeys and never expect anyone to offer me their seat. Unless you're elderly or disabled.

Able bodied adults should offer seats to those who struggle to stand.

I’ve seen enough big grown men avoid eye contact and stay seated when a pregnant woman is standing.

In all fairness, I would offer my seat to a 6 year old.

I have an 8yo and 5yo, if a train was busy then 5 year old would sit on my lap but I would not make my 8 year old give up his seat for an adult. If it's that busy then where would he go where I could still see him?

This is such a strange post. Of course seats should be given up for disabled, elderly, pregnant people….but you want all children to give up their seats for random adults? I’m assuming you are not a parent or grandparent. Do you generally dislike children? Children can be perfectly well behaved and have excellent manners - without giving up their seats. Get over yourself.

Blimey I struggle to hold onto the hand rails in a train because I'm short. Pretty sure the average 6 year old would not be able to.

So would I

Agreed OP. It's about respect

Me too! Adults (not elderly) are more capable of standing than primary age children.

Why should someone be respected just because they are older than a child? Many adults are twats. You earn my respect.

@MariaVT65
I agree, and kids don't earn my respect by hogging seats 💁‍♀️

If I am on a train with ds without his wheelchair then I would have to make sure he had a seat as at 13 he couldn’t safely stand. Thankfully we rarely travel without his chair but that creates a whole new level of issues!

i recently travelled inadvertently on a very busy train (turned out its final destination was a popular holiday resort) without Ds. The unspoken rule in the carriage I was in seemed to become children under about 12 and older people got the seats before others. One very stressed looking woman got on and someone with a seat offered her one for no other obvious reason than she looked frazzled!

I think often able bodied adults are safer standing when it’s busy than children

🤣 children break bones too. We just see them fall more often as they are less sensible and more clumsy and accident prone.

Adults don't earn mine by demanding them either.

IMO smaller children should sit on adults' laps. Bigger children should give up seats to adults and stand.
I know this is often considered a tweedy and fusty opinion but frankly I no longer care.

I've never understood this school of thought. Children are less steady on their feet, more likely to get knocked over, can't reach the overhead straps, might get pushed out of train, more likely to get in someone's way, likely to lose concentration and balance etc personally if someone elderly/pregnant etc needs a seat I offer mine so my children can still sit.

And you haven’t earned any respect by demanding you hog one instead.

In the days of molly coddling entitled kids of course the precious little darlings should have a seat regardless of anyone else,plus a seat for their toys and huge bag of organic healthy snacks.

And healthy adults don’t earn my respect by demanding seats from people more vulnerable for them.