To not let my dad know how much money it is??

[Relunctanto]

Have come into a life changing amount of money. After much thought we are going to put money away for the kids, make sure ddad is comfortable, just a sensible amount, and open a foundation with the rest and give as much away as possible to causes important to us.

We had to tell my dad because it's obvious that we have $$ as we're paying off the house, may move and I'm leaving my job to run the Foundation, and will be hiring staff etc. Plus I'd like to make sure he has a monthly income from it.

But we didn't say how much as he is an absolute blabbermouth! He can't help himself, always wants to know how much things cost, where they're from etc and tells everyone. He's an open book. Talks to everyone.

He livid that I won;t tell him the amount. Keeps making guesses, brings it up in every convo. Is irate that I told Dsis ( Because I want her to join the running of the Foundation so had to reassure her it will run for generations if managed properly and worth leaving her very good career for).

It's causing massive friction. Ironically the reason we're keeping it so private is money does cause problems and I have no intention of having anyone outside of a handful of people know.

YABU - swear him to secrecy, tell him he can tell NO-ONE the amounts involved. He'll understand the importance.

YANBU - He's not going to change now, he'll let it slip then our relationship will deffo be worse off.

Cap Toms daughter you have a point. Meghan and Harry don't receive public donations. Its run like a typical American foundation, where wealthy people set up a non profit that awards grants to actual charities who do the work. The OP could set up similar. Where they just decide who gets help from their money, with no tax on that. I don't think we need more large charities either. Better to let smaller grassroots orgs deal with community issues and wealthy people can give them the money.

Totally agree, the amount of wealthy people opening their own charities is just so inefficient,

don't they do it for tax?

Yes, thats why they do it, and its not usually charities, but not for profit foundations.

🤣🤣

Ignore all the nosy parkers on here. Some of us are not the slightest bit interested in prying. Ignore all the people telling you how to spend your money as well, or telling you how they would spend it.

You know your father, you know he’ll tell everyone something you don’t want them told, so don’t tell him. If he makes a guess and tells everyone that, at least you can say “I didn’t tell DF how much, so he’s just guessing”.

I had a parent who badgered me into tell them something very private, said they wouldn’t tell anyone else as per my wishes, then blabbed. Then said they didn’t know I didn’t want other people told 🤨 So I know how this feels. It isn’t your DF’s money or his business, and he can’t be trusted to keep confidences, so you have to keep him in the dark.

Tell your dad, just reading this has me frustrated I don't know how much you inherited!

If it is 7 figures, the possible actual round amounts are quite small. If you are remotely realistic with these plans, then it can’t be in the very low range of 7 figures, thus making the possible answer even smaller.

so your father has to have an idea of the amount. It some ways it seems petty to deny him a figure, but you know him better so maybe not knowing helps.

reading your plans, I am concerned they are ambitious and that you may go through the money faster than you realize. Make sure you are working with a good financial advisor. Even if your main goal is charity, you need to be prudent.

Honestly, if it is 7 figures it’s not the realm of worrying about children or setting up a multigenerational foundation. That’s more top 8 figures at a push, and really I’d only talk to my clients about it seriously at 9 figures plus.

Have you taken proper professional advice from private client lawyers, tax advisers and wealth advisers that are used to this level of wealth?

I don’t tout for business on Mumsnet so I’m not personally interested in getting involved, but my job is advising individuals and families with £10m+ of wealth and I spend a lot of time and cost fixing issues that come about because people weren’t well advised at the start.

Just tell him £3 million.

Rich people set up foundations in USA as a tax dodge. It’s a way of ring fencing warning if that can be inherited without paying any corporation or personal taxation. If you have won the money you do not need to set up a charitable foundation. Just bank the money, give to worthy causes. Give to people you think would benefit. You dont need to set up the heavy burden of administration that goes with it.

And how much?

And can I have some?

Yeah don't tell him. I have a parent who tells everyone my business. It's so frustrating 😫

Agreed. Setting up a foundation guarantees that everyone will know.

Why a foundation rather than supporting existing causes? Do you have specific skills in charity management? Does your DSis? If not, why set yourself up as a charity?

Tell him that for every time he asks you again, you'll take another 10k off his allowance!

If you want to keep it a big secret it's up to you. But I'd be annoyed in his position. Are you sharing any of it with him. A foundation?? So a pseudo charity that you can dip into for expenses. Hmm.

A foundation?? So a pseudo charity that you can dip into for expenses. Hmm. Do you feel the same about the Royal Foundation? I feel a lot of foundations are being tarred because of Capt Tom's family.

Wow, thats an overreaction! no need to be mean.

I would be leaning towards sticking to your guns and not telling him, but if you're based in the UK, a registered charity has to have accounting records made public. Therefore, if you were to put £5m in to a new Foundation it would all be available for anyone to see.

You could give it all to me and then you wouldn't have the problem! I'm a charity case

After paying staff and the considerable admin fees you'll have, that money will be gone in no time, and your sister will be out of a job.

@Iwantcakeeveryday it's not mean at all. Mumsnet is full of trolls with posts that are not genuine. Many of them coming from the same poster with all different concocted stories

Yanbu

I have no clue what you're talking about. The OP isn't showing off, she's asked a question. Trollhunting is against the T & C's so prob best if you stop.