Has anyone had a baby via surrogacy?

[highsexdriveonhol]

Posting for traffic as no one replied to the surrogacy area (fully aware probably the worst place to post but need answers!)

Disclaimer: this is NOT a thread about the ethics of surrogacy - please don't come here with posts about how you don't agree with surrogacy blah blah it's not what the thread is for and you'd be wasting your breath.

I'm exploring all routes of starting a family and to be honest, not convinced this route is for me but I feel only right to consider everything before drawing a line.

So I wanted to hear about positive and negative experiences of surrogacy from parents that did this to have a family.

Did it go well or not well for you, would you do it again?

Are there trauma issues for the child in your experience? Did you struggle to bond with the child?

Ideally looking for couple that used their own sperm and egg where possible.

Thanks in advance x

Unfortunately you don’t get to choose who posts.
As long as people stay within Talk Guidelines they are allowed to express their opinions on surrogacy.
Mine is that it should be illegal

There are a few donor conceived and infant adoptee people on TikTok who make really interesting content about their experience of being the child conceived. Not surrogacy but I imagine the issues are likely to be similar. Seems to be little of the child’s voice when you read about surrogacy, so these people might be useful for that perspective.

She isn't asking for your opinion, she wants people's experiences. So off you go

I think people are going to post on here saying they disagree with surrogacy. You might be better off finding a specialist board tbh

I think opinions like that will put people off posting their experiences tbh

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/feminism/4608634-surrogacy

This is a good thread OP. It will probably put you off.

OP wanted experiences not opinions.

YABU

I know one family, and the surrogate mother was the mother’s sister. They are all very close and they all lived in the same town for the first six months after the (much beloved and very happy now, 3 years on) baby was born. I think this is probably one of the few setups that truly works for everyone concerned.

There was an AMA from a woman who donated her eggs which I found v eye opening as it's always made out to be so easy

I donated my eggs AMA www.mumsnet.com/Talk/AMA/4715888-i-donated-my-eggs-ama?msgid=-4715888#-4715888

Have a look in Facebook for Surrogacy UK also there's some podcasts here https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p06tn77s/episodes/downloads?fbclid=IwAR2r2wWWDHoJEA8fjd3cAaL8vxjAkngglgwPydoj2NToOixZWnM7sACBoZg

https://www.spectator.co.uk/article/surrogacy-is-just-another-way-to-turn-womens-bodies-into-profit/

some examples here for you.

Yes. We've successfully done it and know many others who have. No emotional issues and child very aware and comfortable with their story up to this point. Very different to adoption in terms of processing. Surrogate felt it was one of the best experiences of her life. Yes she is an angel. I know how this thread will go so I'm name changing and not returning. Sorry I can't answer follow up questions. Good luck.

I’ve sent you a PM.

I think listening to and thinking about the ethical concerns involved in surrogacy is a part of 'considering everything' tbf. After all, if you go down this route you're going to have to justify it to your child at some point. Telling your child that you didn't care for anyone's ethical concerns/anyone raising any was 'wasting their breath' probably isn't an attitude consistent with being a good parent. Your child is going to share a unique bond with his/her birth mother and what you're saying is you have no concern for her safety or wellbeing (these are some of the key ethical concerns).

An excellent thread. From 'I did a nice thing and didn't think much of the long term implications' to 'egg collection was worse than my emergency c section and once they got my eggs they couldn't give a shit about me lol'. Worth a read.

A) let the OP respond if she wants, she doesn’t need you to

and B) It’s a subject some people feel strongly about, and this being a public forum, as long as they aren’t abusive, they can chip in all they want. And while the OP might not want those opinions surrogacy is something of an ethical mind field, so she is as well to be aware of them, not least because any future children she has via surrogacy May have a lot of questions.

https://juliebindel.substack.com/p/disappearing-women-as-mothers#details

Here you go - interview with Harriet - a woman who acted as a surrogate

It’s more common in USA/Canada. An actress acquaintance & friends have all had eggs frozen to this eventual end. Meeting with them socially in UK they discussed surrogacy surprisingly openly I thought. They want career longevity.

You won't get a rational response on surrogacy on here.
I've been called a monster several times for even contemplating it.
The majority of women who are against it conveniently already have children and don't understand the sheer and utter heartbreak of being infertile.
The evidence the anti surrogacy brigade use that it's so terribly harmful is weak at best and certainly has no basis in factual scientific research.

I would suggest you to watch BBC documentary series “The Surrogates”.

It is not possible to separate the ethics of surrogacy from the actuality of surrogacy though.

If something is wrong and/or harmful why would you ignore the ethics?