I'm spitting !! Juvenile I know but I want a little revenge .. AIBU

[salpelly]

So long story short I was dating a man (47) r a few months at the beginning of summer. He had only left a volatile relationship. Incompatibility by the sounds of it .

Anyway, he unceremoniously announced after we slept together a few times after a dates over that period that he wasn't in the right space for anything despite a few plans discussed.

It took my heart a while to accept what my head was telling me so having pushed it, I realised he was still tolerating crying and begging texts and phone calls from his ex. I posted about this.
He was feeling guilty and upset that he had hurt her.
Not so much me by all accounts, clearly.

He suggested we catch up in a few months to see if his life had settled down and we were both in the right place for something. He does have a lot of other stuff going on that would not be conducive to a relationship at the moment.

So fast forward to now, the relationship remains over and she is still terribly upset and regularly blocks/ unblocks , leaves nasty messages etc . She is however still a friend in his social media, as am I.

I was very much a secret bar his friends and a brother knowing. He is very enmeshed with his family and appears afraid of their disapproval about nearly everything.
He watches my social media but doesn't like any posts etc.

His ex comes up as a suggested friend on mine nearly every day so I reckon she has cottoned on to him having had a fling and she is having a look . We literally got together the weekend they finished which I'm sure she is curious about.
So, he is on holidays with his kids and has posted some beautiful photos of the resort I went to earlier in the year.

The bitchy part of me wants to like his post, possibly comment on it but he would be mortified as I am persona non grata, a dirty secret . HIS EX would probably go nuts. He may be annoyed with me for letting the cat out of the bag so to speak.
The nice person in me says not to stir the pot.
WWYD ... kind of light hearted here btw ...
So please don't attack me ! I'm
Still human !

And I know that living your best life is the best revenge but I'm really fucked off that I was essentially used and discarded under false pretences.

Thanks for reading if you got this far ..

Move on in the kindest possible way.

I imagine his friends have little to no inclination to do this given what they’ve no doubt heard

Quite possible, but then humans being human and if temptation is a factor too.

Overall Admittedly it's far fetched.

OP hasn't wronged any woman. She dated a single man.

Man who told you he was not ready for a relationship turns out to be not ready for a relationship with you.🤷‍♀️

You are hurt @salpelly but that doesn't give you the right to hurt others. Perhaps you are not ready for a relationship atm?

There was only a couple of hours in it, to be fair.

If you want to do anything at all just unfollow him/block him and move on. Seeing him on your social media is doing you no favours whatsoever.

What do you think they've heard@Flipflipmania ? Do you have inside information?
Your previous comments have been shitty, unhelpful and mean, at best. Why is that? I expect you're either bored or simply the inflammatory type ...am I right?

That you’re… fragile

Ok @Flipflipmania.
Think I'm good for any more of your expert opinions this evening. You don't know the first thing about me and if I was actually fragile, you have taken great pleasure in trying to belittle me and make me feel worse than I already do.
Try to be happy 👋

You hooked up with a bloke a couple of days after his relationship broke down and you are surprised it didn't work out ! Now you want revenge, Christ you are something else.

Thank you@Herejusttocomment

Some really unhelpful replies on here today. I would not take revenge. Act in haste, repent at leisure. Take the higher moral ground, if it was not working for him, don’t pine after him. He had his chance, by him saying let’s see in a few months is keeping you dangling. Don’t do that dance, you are worth more

The question is do you want to continue to be part of this or not?

If you think he wasn't in the right place for a relationship at the time but you're willing to wait and see if things improve for him then just keep going as you are.

If you think he's just stringing you along and just used you for a short term fling then tell him you can't wait around any longer to see if he's ever going to be ready for a relationship so you're going to be moving on and you wish him well.

Posting on his SM to try to stir up some kind of trouble is only going to lead to him thinking you're a complete nutter.

Blimey. Move on. It was a brief fling.

and you’re how old? This is tragic behaviour from an adult

Unhelpful as in ?

He still had your close attention and any act of revenge will show this kid and clear it wouldn't make him feel used and discarded, it would validate any criticism she could make of you, so isn't a fitting revenge for that reason.
I think the best revenge would be if he was not shown he has your attention, but came to realise he is as nothing to you... And that all this drama is the best he's got.

Unfriend. Block him and move on with your life.

I can understand why you want to, you feel stung by this guy even though I don't think he's done anything wrong really; we're all free to change our minds in relationships. It's understandable that you're feeling shit about it though.

I wouldn't post/like anything- not because I think there's anything wrong with doing so, if he has a problem with you seeing his posts he should've blocked you. I wouldn't because your motivation seems to be to upset his 'ex' who hasn't done anything at all to you so it's a shitty thing to do to another woman.

The best thing you can do is block them both. I know you probably won't though - as a species we like to torture ourselves 🙈 but you won't move on whilst you're looking backwards.

I get it op. He was shabby in his behaviour to you. Obviously you wouldn't have slept with him if he'd be honest about where he was. It hurts. Next time, postpone sex longer so whoever he is has longer to figure out what he wants.

I would just block him. Even if he gets back in touch with you, you'll be hurt,
, he'll have the ego boost of knowing you wanted more.

So block him on your phone, Facebook, the dating app
Disappear.

Resist the temptation, your future self will thank you for it.

Thought you were being "light hearted"?

Doesn't sound like it.

It all sounds a bit skanky.

I'd block them all and move on and try to forget it ever happened if it were me.

Oh dear