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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want dd14 to have a small business

117 replies

tiredmum9 · 19/08/2023 17:28

My 14 year old dd has been making crystal bracelets & jewellry for a while and is now asking to sell them at markets and possibly online. She says this involves setting up an etsy, plus a Facebook, Instagram and Tiktok to promote her products. Aibu to say no? I really don't want to deal with the hassle of these social medias, and paying for countless supplies, preparing packaging as well as helping her ship the items just for her to only make a few sales and likely get fed up

Not to mention she will be preparing for her GCSES as she goes into Year 10 in September and this will distract her and stress her out more

OP posts:
ReadRum · 19/08/2023 17:30

Limit the time and money she can spend on it? Ask her to get some books out of the library and write a business plan? It sounds like excellent experience.

balzamico · 19/08/2023 17:31

Put her in charge of it all, you don't have to get involved, it will be a great learning experience for her whether it works out or not

bryceQ · 19/08/2023 17:32

Wow I would think it's a great think to do. Shows lots of determination and hard work.

Whatajokr · 19/08/2023 17:32

YABU.

Give her £50/£100 seed money and let her get on with it. You don't have to be involved at all.

What an amazing attitude to have at her age and what a great experience.

Hiddenvoice · 19/08/2023 17:32

I would help her look into it all and how much it will cost her. Explain that you don’t mind helping fund it a little to begin with but you won’t be buying all the beads, won’t be purchasing packaging and won’t be sorting postage therefore this will all be on her to fund when she starts to sell them.
Etsy is a lovely place to sell but if she’s only selling for a few pounds of whatnot she won’t be getting the full price as Etsy take a cut. She would be better seeing if there’s any Interest by creating social media for it but it would be a lot of work.
could toy contact local primary schools and sell them at school fayres and maybe the Christmas fayre first?

IWasFunBeforeMum · 19/08/2023 17:32

Wow, I'd be made up if my 14 year old was showing such a business mind at her age.. teach her about using her profits to buy more supplies etc. Sounds like you could be a bit more supportive of it though.

metalmaude · 19/08/2023 17:33

What an enterprising young lady! Yes, let her go for it, even if it flops totally or she gets bored, such a good experience for her, and a stepping stone to possible future businesses. Limit the time and money she can spend on it, as others have said. Good for her!

Runnerinthenight · 19/08/2023 17:34

I'd encourage her. Entrepreneurial skills at a young age. Good for her!

Cowlover89 · 19/08/2023 17:34

Yabu

ScottishIceCream · 19/08/2023 17:39

She's showing entrepreneurial skills! That's a really good thing.

You don't have to do anything, in fact "helping" her will probably be detrimental.

Let her do it herself and she can then find out on her own if she's cut out for business.

msmonstera · 19/08/2023 17:39

I did that with a friend at the same age. (We didn't have the online stuff obviously). We made beady earrings and bracelets. Her auntie helped us sell them at craft fairs. It was a wholesome hobby that made us a bit of pocket money and we got bored eventually. My only concern for your daughter is how time consuming the socials would be. Also I think (although not sure) that Etsy requires sellers to pay a fee (maybe direct debit?) whether they sell or not so that side of things might be one to confirm.

UpaladderwatchingTV · 19/08/2023 17:41

I agree with other posters. She's showing an awful lot of initiative, and could well prove to be a fantastic business woman if you encourage her. Obviously she needs to work out a figure to charge, that covers her time, equipment, etc, and of course postage and packing materials, but if at this stage she only wants to sell stuff she's already made and paid for, and she knows she can get enough to cover ALL of the costs, then I can't see what your problem is.

Of course she's going to need to spend time on her studies, with exams etc., but she may find that losing herself in her craft, for a few hours a week, takes away the stress that so many teens feel at this time in their life, so it could possibly be a good thing as far as that's concerned too.

TheGaffer · 19/08/2023 17:42

Yes let her…she will learn so much from it (from a teenage entrepreneur who went to uni and graduated in an entirely unrelated field and has managed to hold down a professional job quite happily thanks very much!)

ComtesseDeSpair · 19/08/2023 17:46

Etsy and online selling, no. Even if minors are allowed to hold accounts it’ll ultimately be you who ends up having to deal with buyer disputes, complaints, postage problems etc. Craft fairs, providing she puts the legwork into finding out where they are and makes the enquiries about a stall herself, perhaps - although again it’s likely going to mean you having to potentially accompany her and possibly be the one who signs the contract paperwork for the stall and so forth.

JustKeepSlimming · 19/08/2023 17:47

Stop thinking that you need to get involved - you don't. Maybe the odd lift if she decides to do craft fairs, but apart from that, let her tear away. She'll benefit from seeing how business really works, even on a small scale.

CoconutSty · 19/08/2023 17:47

If she's expecting you to spend all the time and money on this that your post suggests then it probably doesn't have legs. When she realises how much work for how little income it is she may well lose interest, but I would let her try because she might surprise you! As PPs say, provide a small bit of startup cash and point her towards some resources, then leave her to it!

speakout · 19/08/2023 17:48

I think it's great too, but Etsy and other on line platforms won't allow under 18s to run an account.

These platforms also require a credit card as back up for charges if that exceeds sale revenue.

So if you set it up in your own name then be aware that you could incur charges if selling doesn't go according to plan.
She may prefer to sell locally, perhaps at craft fairs or school/church events.
There are bricks and mortar shops that sell craft- a few in my area, so I am guessing there are others throughout the country.

These shops will allow you her/you to display and sell items, but usually there is no upfront cost- although they will take a percentage from any revenue.

JustKeepSlimming · 19/08/2023 17:49

I agree with @ComtesseDeSpair about Etsy - I wouldn't let her do that. Stick to offline for a couple of years at least.

tjugofem · 19/08/2023 17:49

Provide her with a little seed money, maybe £100 or so, and then leave it all up to her. Let her do the rest of the work and if you're worried maybe have her give you the password to all the accounts/excel sheets so you can monitor everything that's going on.

WorriedMillie · 19/08/2023 17:52

I’d encourage it, 100%. it’ll be a great learning experience, with the appropriate boundaries put in place by you. She’ll also need crafters liability insurance (ignore if you’re already aware)

My DD wants to do similar when she’s a bit older, as school commitments would make a traditional Saturday job tricky.

continentallentil · 19/08/2023 17:52

It’s a great bit of experience.

Don’t crush her spirit.

Just set a limit on costs and time.

Depop is popular with the teens I know - it’s more casual than Etsy, less expectation of regular stock etc

beachbitch · 19/08/2023 17:54

YABU. She sounds great and should be encouraged.

Original poster
tiredmum9 · 19/08/2023 17:58

The trouble with selling as bootsales/craft fairs is that my DH would have to drop her off (and stay for boot sales) which he wouldn't want to do.

Also she struggles with maths so I'm not sure she'd know how to calculate everything and make a profit

I do like the idea of her having her own little buisness, I'm just trying to work out the logistics because it doesn't seem manageable at all

OP posts:
diamondpony80 · 19/08/2023 18:02

As someone who has had a few different businesses in the last 20 years, I will say YABU. Very very unreasonable. I would love if my kids were entrepreneurial but they're not really. If they were, I would encourage them all the way. Many of the most successful people I know started small businesses at that age, and it would be terrible to stifle her entrepreneurial spirit. There's nothing wrong with failing and making mistakes either - that's how she'll learn.

Testina · 19/08/2023 18:04

tiredmum9 · 19/08/2023 17:58

The trouble with selling as bootsales/craft fairs is that my DH would have to drop her off (and stay for boot sales) which he wouldn't want to do.

Also she struggles with maths so I'm not sure she'd know how to calculate everything and make a profit

I do like the idea of her having her own little buisness, I'm just trying to work out the logistics because it doesn't seem manageable at all

Why can’t you go with her?
I think it’s really sad that you’re showing no support.
Fine to tell her that you don’t want to lose every weekend ti this, but happy to support her at one market (of her researching) so she can see how it goes.

Don’t car boot - buyers go there for the stuff no-one will buy elsewhere. Like 50p for an entire shoe box of old costume jewellery!

Maths skills is a good reason to do it! Calculator skills, pricing for easy adding up… etc.