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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want dd14 to have a small business

117 replies

tiredmum9 · 19/08/2023 17:28

My 14 year old dd has been making crystal bracelets & jewellry for a while and is now asking to sell them at markets and possibly online. She says this involves setting up an etsy, plus a Facebook, Instagram and Tiktok to promote her products. Aibu to say no? I really don't want to deal with the hassle of these social medias, and paying for countless supplies, preparing packaging as well as helping her ship the items just for her to only make a few sales and likely get fed up

Not to mention she will be preparing for her GCSES as she goes into Year 10 in September and this will distract her and stress her out more

OP posts:
Combusting · 19/08/2023 18:05

tiredmum9 · 19/08/2023 17:58

The trouble with selling as bootsales/craft fairs is that my DH would have to drop her off (and stay for boot sales) which he wouldn't want to do.

Also she struggles with maths so I'm not sure she'd know how to calculate everything and make a profit

I do like the idea of her having her own little buisness, I'm just trying to work out the logistics because it doesn't seem manageable at all

If you cannot see this as a real route for a breakthrough in “she struggles with maths” then I have nothing to say.

jesus wept.

Original poster
tiredmum9 · 19/08/2023 18:06

Testina · 19/08/2023 18:04

Why can’t you go with her?
I think it’s really sad that you’re showing no support.
Fine to tell her that you don’t want to lose every weekend ti this, but happy to support her at one market (of her researching) so she can see how it goes.

Don’t car boot - buyers go there for the stuff no-one will buy elsewhere. Like 50p for an entire shoe box of old costume jewellery!

Maths skills is a good reason to do it! Calculator skills, pricing for easy adding up… etc.

Show quote history

I'm happy to go with her but I can't drive, and dh isn't willing to

OP posts:
AgnesX · 19/08/2023 18:08

It's great experience in a relatively safe environment. My MIL did something similar pre COVID. It does take a good bit of effort for not a lot of reward depending on the competition.

Support her now but make her take the responsibility.

MXVIT · 19/08/2023 18:10

YABU!!

She will learn far more from this than our shambles of an education system

nameychange · 19/08/2023 18:12

Does her school to the big challenge? When DD was in year 9 or 10 they do a business challenge. They get a seed funding of £25 and then have to build their own business from there. Does her school do it?
if not maybe have a look at the materials that they use as a basis for her.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 19/08/2023 18:13

tiredmum9 · 19/08/2023 17:58

The trouble with selling as bootsales/craft fairs is that my DH would have to drop her off (and stay for boot sales) which he wouldn't want to do.

Also she struggles with maths so I'm not sure she'd know how to calculate everything and make a profit

I do like the idea of her having her own little buisness, I'm just trying to work out the logistics because it doesn't seem manageable at all

See it as a sport, you'd run her to a sport if it was her hobby,wouldn't you? I spent hours and hours at the side of a tennis court when ds was a teen and ferrying him around all over the place.

Perhaps agree on one market a month unless she can get there herself?

Learning about making profit and dealing with money is all part of growing up. It's not like she'll be earning hundreds, it'll be the odd few quid here and there.

I'd be encouraging her personally, rather that than hanging around looking for trouble in town.

EBearhug · 19/08/2023 18:13

I would get her to do the research - cost it up (time, materials, postage, costs of platforms/craft fairs, etc.) What will she need to do to make a profit? How will she fit that in with school and any other activities? I think agreeing it must not impact studies is reasonable.

I would think something like this should encourage her maths, but if it doesn't, she probably needs to put in the research time to discover that, and realise running a business involves more than the fun crafting bit. If she's determined, then she will want to make it work and it will improve her maths.

Nemesias · 19/08/2023 18:18

Let her go to a few craft fairs - they are incredibly boring and most of the time if there isn’t enough footfall she won’t make any money.

Testina · 19/08/2023 18:19

“I'm happy to go with her but I can't drive, and dh isn't willing to”

Well he sounds a great dad 🙄
Fuck him, support her, take the bus?

Original poster
tiredmum9 · 19/08/2023 18:20

Her school doesn't do the big challenge, she did do Prince's Trust award with school which has a bit about makng your own business but it didn't involve budgeting/profit

The thing about sport and it being a hobby makes a really good point, thank you ❤

OP posts:
ImNotWorthy · 19/08/2023 18:23

You could watch one or two episodes of this series:

BBC iPlayer - Make It at Market - Series 1: Episode 1

I watched these when they first went out. A major thing to come out of each episode was how long it took to make a piece for sale, and what techniques could be used to make the piece even faster.

In other words, get her to cost her work in terms of the time it will take. Then add on the time needed for marketing, making videos etc. This will give her a start in thinking in a business-like way, and enable her to see how it could fit in with the rest of her life. Then take it from there.

Make It at Market - Series 1: Episode 1

Cath and Morgan hope to turn their talent into profitable businesses.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/m001gq6q/make-it-at-market-series-1-episode-1

Itsnotrightbutitsok · 19/08/2023 18:25

I would absolutely encourage her to do this and support her as much as I could.

In the nicest way, I doubt it will last very long.
Many teens (and adults) try and do similar and it usually doesn’t get very far.

Belladonna56 · 19/08/2023 18:30

Not online ,as she isn't old enough, and some sites are full of cheap imports.
I would encourage her to try local craft shops first.

Jesseweneedtocook · 19/08/2023 18:32

Yabu so much.

I did similar when I was her age, all on my own with minimal help from my mum. Why do you need to get involved , it sounds like she has her own plans and ideas. I can't believe you're being so unsupportive and negative.

IrmaBunt · 19/08/2023 18:41

The Design Trust is a great website for her to have a look at. Some of it is behind a paywall, but there's a lot of great, free advice there as well: https://www.thedesigntrust.co.uk/

It will help her if she's really serious and also help her to realise how much work it is to make money in this way.

I support artists and makers as part of my job and I love it when young people start their own business - these are great skills for the future even if she doesn't carry on in this field. Plus what a fantastic thing to have on your application to uni/college/for a job.

husbandcallsmepickle · 19/08/2023 18:45

balzamico · 19/08/2023 17:31

Put her in charge of it all, you don't have to get involved, it will be a great learning experience for her whether it works out or not

This

Thoughtful2355 · 19/08/2023 18:47

firstly i think its great she is getting into entrepenurial stuff, secondly i am a failure in life and i wont lie i blame my family because not once was i ever supported in stuff i wanted to do it was always you cant do it because .. excuse excuse excuse and now i live a life of feeling like i cant do anything i ever want and will fail at everything. I dont even try now. Its ruined my life, i should feel like im able to but i cant.

I always shared anything i dreamt of and wanted to do to be met with sarcasm and the knowledge that they neither cared nor thought i could actually do it.

curaçao · 19/08/2023 18:53

I very much doubt she will sell anything online, maybe a few pieces ar a craft fair but I honestly think she will struggle to cover her costs

FennelsAreUseful · 19/08/2023 18:54

I admire your dd, let her do it.

drpet49 · 19/08/2023 18:55

Her business is ten a penny. I probably wouldn’t be bothered to entertain it either.

JusthereforXmas · 19/08/2023 19:14

I remember going to my parents with my dream job at 16 and the costing to launch and how I even had a preliminary deal offer already in place with Virgin. I just need money to make the products.

I also remember them laughing at me... it hurt, I never got the money (£1000 so a lot but also not 'crazy' money) and my dreams never happened.

They supported my brother though, they helped him set up his first business with his hobby at 8 years old. They paid for stalls and took him all over the country to special events to sell at. He kept all profits but never had to pay a penny.

They where then disappointed I chose to 'just' be a stay at home mam once I had kids and wondered why I wasn't career minded and ambitious like them and DB.

Lilithlogic · 19/08/2023 19:17

Have you ever thought about learning to drive?

BCBird · 19/08/2023 19:23

I'd let her try. Also even though she will be starting her GCSE, is it possible that she finds making the bracelets relaxing?

FerryPink · 19/08/2023 19:27

It sounds like the perfect way to hone her maths skills tbh.

If you or DH don't feel able to help her , it would be a really good idea to get her a tutor and maybe they could spend some lessons on curriculum maths and some on this? (My son and his step brother had a maths tutor mainly because school maths was too easy and she had loads of fun getting them to do all the maths to design a theme park business)

xyz111 · 19/08/2023 19:28

YABVU. I would be really supportive of my child. As long as they knew they had to do all the work. But would put rules in place eg all homework had to be completed first before any business stuff.

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