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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want dd14 to have a small business

117 replies

tiredmum9 · 19/08/2023 17:28

My 14 year old dd has been making crystal bracelets & jewellry for a while and is now asking to sell them at markets and possibly online. She says this involves setting up an etsy, plus a Facebook, Instagram and Tiktok to promote her products. Aibu to say no? I really don't want to deal with the hassle of these social medias, and paying for countless supplies, preparing packaging as well as helping her ship the items just for her to only make a few sales and likely get fed up

Not to mention she will be preparing for her GCSES as she goes into Year 10 in September and this will distract her and stress her out more

OP posts:

dreamydandelion · 20/08/2023 08:37

this kind of thing is brilliant for kids of her age, provided it doesn't interfere with her school work and she deals with all the purchasing, shipping etc. A little help once in a while from you could help instil good habits in her. Bear in mind she will need to log her expenses and so on, if she makes more than £1k per year she will have to think about tax return. A great way of encouraging business skills!

Sigmama · 20/08/2023 08:39

Why wouldn't your dh want to take her? You can all go

Treacletoots · 20/08/2023 08:39

What's the end goal of your daughter's education? That she has a job that can support and fulfill her.

The fact she's showing she's willing to be creative and work hard to earn herself some money is absolutely fantastic, not something you should want to shut down.

Most employers would pick someone with this attitude who had actively shown their entrepreneurial ability than one with oodles of qualifications but not the drive or experience every time. I speak from experience, I landed a plum job at a prestigious retailer because of my online business success, which made me stand out above other candidates (my boss told me, I'm not just assuming)

Very odd you'd want to stifle this in your DC. Are you jealous of her drive to succeed? I ask because my mother would have done something like this.. (we haven't spoken for 15 blissful years)

Hibiscrubbed · 20/08/2023 08:41

I think posters are being shortsighted.

She’s clearly not going to do big business and make her fortune at these fairs. But that’s not the point.

She will develop communication and selling skills. Talking to people is hard, but immensely valuable.

She’ll grow in confidence.

She’ll learn to deal with disappointment and elation.

She’ll develop organisational and management skills.

She’ll improve her maths by virtue of selling.

She’ll learn her family are supportive and have her back.

Just put yourselves out for her a few times; maybe cap it at three events to see how she goes.

Treacletoots · 20/08/2023 08:44

Also you should be reading the riot act to your DH. Why can't he be bothered to support his own DC? What a selfish little man.

Can you also not learn to drive OP? I don't understand why anyone with access to a car wouldnt want to. What's the barrier?

Whyohwhyohwhy123 · 20/08/2023 08:51

I started a bit younger than your daughter and now have had a full time business for years.
Local Facebook selling pages are good and she would also be able to sell on Vinted.
she would need product liability insurance which can be bought quite cheaply. For just markets and fairs try the market traders association. There’s an artists information association as well a commercial insurers. Costs between £40-£100 a year

ehb102 · 20/08/2023 08:58

I think it is brilliant and you should support her under two conditions. First, she has to keep financial records so she can see what she makes after costs. Also time notes so she can see the money she makes per hour. The secondly she only has one outlet for sales until she has shown she can manage it. The risk is she does loads of TikTok videos and no actual on site marketing.

Fieldsodgold21 · 20/08/2023 09:03

OP, I def think you should support her and nurture her enthusiasm - seems a shame to just refuse and leave her frustrated or feeling alone - but start small.

Someone mentioned Next Door/local deliveries which sounds like a good thing to look at. Never used it myself.

Craft fairs - as others have said, you’d certainly have to get involved with paperwork, she’d need a lot of stock and ways to display it etc if she had her own stall. In time, method of taking payment by card (unless v small cost items) and a cash float. Public liability insurance is also usually required - I ran events and all stall holders had to have this as a legal requirement. That’s perhaps different at church fetes etc but def need to make sure you’re covered somehow (eg accident caused by someone falling over a box your daughter has put down - person breaks arm/bangs head, has to take time off work, and comes after you - this is where public liability insurance kicks in). Theft is an issue with small items.

Maybe she could offer to help someone on a stall and sell her products as part of the overall offering (would have to work out details but stallholders often struggle for trustworthy, reliable help). This would alleviate most of the above and perhaps they’d give her a lift!

Good luck!

Mamansparkles · 20/08/2023 09:13

I think a lot of posters have limited experience of 14 year olds. Yes, some of them have the entrepreneurial drive and make a success of it/have a fun hobby that earns a bit on the side. Many do not and just think they can make some bracelets, sell them easily and get money.
OP you know your DD. If she is likely to make a reasonable go of it, even if she doesn't make much/any money and learn stuff, then great. If she is going to expect to make bracelets and then you do all the business work, then no.
Tell her she needs to pitch it to you. She needs to have it fully costed, including transport to fairs, cost of stalls, postage and packaging etc. She can't use any selling sites she isnt over the age for (she might find it easier at 16 than 14). How is she going to market it? She needs to factor in buying materials with her profits paying back the start up loan you give her (obviously do it interest free but explain to her in business normally she would also have to pay interest).
If she can come up with a credible plan with an acceptable amount of help, great. If she needs you to do it all for her (which is the vibe I'm getting from your posts) then it's a no.
Also to pps there are lots of reasons people can't learn to drive. Medical reasons, cost of lessons. It is not 'evidence of a risk averse mindset'.

MXVIT · 20/08/2023 10:44

drpet49 · 19/08/2023 18:55

Her business is ten a penny. I probably wouldn’t be bothered to entertain it either.

Alright Deborah meaden calm down

HarrysStyle · 20/08/2023 11:18

What a lovely daughter you have - entrepreneurial spirit and ambition as well as determination. Wonderful! Please don't stamp on her spirit, it's well known that people with extra curricular activities actually do BETTER at school than those who don't.

Odingodof · 20/08/2023 11:35

Omg I'd be thrilled if my 14 year old wanted to do this she will learn soo much I amazing astonished that your attitude is can't be bothered.
.

Original poster

tiredmum9 · 20/08/2023 12:17

Thank you for all the advice and perspectives, I'm going to speak with my DD tonight about possibly selling at local craft fairs

As for the comments on this thread about my driving and the judgement of my character based on that, I am unable to drive due to a physical disability. And I don't see how that's relevant to my parenting.

OP posts:

Zanatdy · 20/08/2023 12:19

I wouldn’t be keen. She’s selling goods and is she mature enough to deal with disputes etc? I think she should do it as a hobby or maybe do a stall at local fete’s with her now and again

BayandBlonde · 20/08/2023 12:28

tiredmum9 · 20/08/2023 12:17

Thank you for all the advice and perspectives, I'm going to speak with my DD tonight about possibly selling at local craft fairs

Say that at the beginning, people then won't be left to assume.

Can't a friend or other family member take you? Maybe check out your local FB pages to see if you can jump in with another seller?
Get a cab?

It's seems you are trying to find excuses for DD not to do it because it doesn't fit in with you. I'm sure you can find just one weekend day in the month!

HonoriaLucastaDelagardie · 20/08/2023 13:57

Can't a friend or other family member take you? Maybe check out your local FB pages to see if you can jump in with another seller?
Get a cab?

Will dd's projected profits cover the friend/family member's petrol/contribution to other seller's costs/cost of a cab?

And that's assuming the friend/family member has nothing better to do with her time than ferry dd to craft fairs.

If dd is serious, she needs a realistic business plan, not something which relies on other people donating their time and money. That's not a viable business.

StorminanDcup · 20/08/2023 14:02

I know someone (she’s a bit older but only very early 20s) who started making those little oil hangers people have in their cars. They are quite popular now but a few years ago they were quite new and she’d make about £600 a month selling them online / Facebook etc. The goods were super cheap so her profit margin was great.

I think it’s a great idea, agree with others that car boots aren’t worth it but little school fairs and the like - why not?

Give her the budget to get started and help her work out an easy cost / sales list. It can be as simple as 2 coloums on a sheet of paper!

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