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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want dd14 to have a small business

117 replies

tiredmum9 · 19/08/2023 17:28

My 14 year old dd has been making crystal bracelets & jewellry for a while and is now asking to sell them at markets and possibly online. She says this involves setting up an etsy, plus a Facebook, Instagram and Tiktok to promote her products. Aibu to say no? I really don't want to deal with the hassle of these social medias, and paying for countless supplies, preparing packaging as well as helping her ship the items just for her to only make a few sales and likely get fed up

Not to mention she will be preparing for her GCSES as she goes into Year 10 in September and this will distract her and stress her out more

OP posts:
Baldieheid · 19/08/2023 19:28

This may already have been said, but most selling sites have a minimum age, need bank account info and a credit card registered with them.

To be honest, she'll be one of a gazillion selling strung beads and will probably just waste her money paying for listings.

Local school and church fairs may be perfect for her though.

ADCisntme · 19/08/2023 19:29

My DD’s friend set up a little business as a teenager and had a huge amount of support from her parents (and still does). She is now very successful and bought her own house at the age of 24.

mumda · 19/08/2023 19:34

The wealthiest person I know started making money whilst he was at school.

Baldieheid · 19/08/2023 19:35

Selling in person at markets will be a wonderful skill for her to learn too. She'll ace interviews in the future as her people skills will have been honed.

verdantverdure · 19/08/2023 19:39

tiredmum9 · 19/08/2023 17:28

My 14 year old dd has been making crystal bracelets & jewellry for a while and is now asking to sell them at markets and possibly online. She says this involves setting up an etsy, plus a Facebook, Instagram and Tiktok to promote her products. Aibu to say no? I really don't want to deal with the hassle of these social medias, and paying for countless supplies, preparing packaging as well as helping her ship the items just for her to only make a few sales and likely get fed up

Not to mention she will be preparing for her GCSES as she goes into Year 10 in September and this will distract her and stress her out more

I'd ask her to write out her plan and to list explicitly what she is expecting you to do.

The less she expects from you the more inclined I'd be to say yes.

If she expects you to buy supplies, pack and post sales, monitor the websites, communicate with buyers, leave feedback, photograph the items and travel to craft fairs etc then that's probably taking the piss isn't it?

Fizbosshoes · 19/08/2023 19:52

I agree with pp that maybe "in person" selling might be better eg school Xmas fairs, village fairs, craft Market, church halls etc then you don't need to worry about whis account it is or messaging sellers.

When my DD was a similar age she tried selling tshirts sge designed on depop (it didn't really take off) and she also bought things at boot fairs and sold (theoretically) at a profit. A couple of times she miscalculated postage or how much deposit would take and made hardly anything but I thought it was a good learning experience (and cost me very little)

Irridescantshimmmer · 19/08/2023 19:54

If your daughter wanted to continue to make the jewellery but give priority to her GCSE revision and maybe after exam time has ended or even some time after that; she could have built up a collection of jewellery she could sell online.

It may be something positive to put on her future CV as entreprenerial skills. Future employers would show interest, especially as she is so young.

I understand what you mean about social media, but so long as she does not disclose anything personal.

Just get as much advice as you can, hopefully your DD can make it work to her advantage and yours of course.

Amethys · 19/08/2023 19:57

YANBU, my parents banned me from having a part time job at that age because they wanted me 100% focused on schoolwork.

I was very pissed off at the time, but I did go to Oxford and that got me a well paid job so I’m not too sad. My friend took the job instead and had to resit her exams.

MadNads · 19/08/2023 20:14

My eldest started around that age. He's still self employed and works around 15- 20 hours per week and makes 000's a week. I'd let her have a go.

DepartureLounge · 19/08/2023 20:18

tiredmum9 · 19/08/2023 18:06

I'm happy to go with her but I can't drive, and dh isn't willing to

Show quote history

Sounds like you've got a DH problem, not an entrepreneurial child problem! Why is supporting her all your job and not his too? It doesn't seem like the hugest ask to drive your own child somewhere for a day or half day to support their fledgling business. Can't he take a book or the newspaper, or stream something to watch on his phone, or do some work of his own while he waits in the car for her? I've lost count of the number of days I spent kicking my heels waiting around for DCs at tournaments or rehearsals or whatnot. It's part of being a parent fgs.

Oblomov23 · 19/08/2023 20:41

She can spend as much time on it as she likes so long as her school what doesn't suffer.

Meredusoleil · 19/08/2023 20:50

My dd1 is the same age and did exactly this last year. We allowed her to do it during school holidays as school work was still the 1st priority. She marketed her products via the website Nextdoor, so delivery was always local.

Unfortunately, she has stopped doing it now as said it took too long to make the products compared to the return she was getting for them!

HonoriaLucastaDelagardie · 19/08/2023 20:54

She can spend as much time on it as she likes so long as her school what doesn't suffer.

She can spend her own time. She doesn't get to spend other people's time and money. Has she factored in the cost of petrol if her dad were to drive her to craft fairs?

Nemesias · 19/08/2023 21:30

I don’t actually think you should allow her to set up online - I don’t think a child is properly capable of handling all the back end stuff, complaints etc. there’s a reason there’s a minimum age for selling sites. unless she’s making something special and with skill like chainmaille I really wouldn’t encourage her to spend too much time trying to make money off it

Hankunamatata · 19/08/2023 21:33

Isn't it exactly the type of project a kids would do for gcse business studies?

shelbaby · 19/08/2023 22:22

Yes I do think it's unreasonable. I'd be encouraging her and helping. It's little bedroom businesses like hers that can turn in to massive million pound companies. Let her dream big and go for it.

If you are able to help with some cash for straying up then that's a massive help.

Etsy I'd avoid as has expensive fees. If she can get sales through her Facebook page etc then that's the way to go.

twoandcooplease · 19/08/2023 22:32

She will probably earn more doing it than regular sellers who need to make costs back to earn a salary

Good for her!

I did something similar at 17 and loved all the package/posting/admin etc (I have a weird love for this and anything stationary related)

HonoriaLucastaDelagardie · 19/08/2023 23:39

She will probably earn more doing it than regular sellers who need to make costs back to earn a salary

How? She needs to cover her costs just as much as 'regular sellers' do, or she's not breaking even or earning anything. Or learning anything.

cinnamonfrenchtoast · 19/08/2023 23:56

HonoriaLucastaDelagardie · 19/08/2023 23:39

She will probably earn more doing it than regular sellers who need to make costs back to earn a salary

How? She needs to cover her costs just as much as 'regular sellers' do, or she's not breaking even or earning anything. Or learning anything.

I think PP meant that as she's only a kid with no mortgage or bills to pay, all her profit will be here to spend as she likes - so she'll be better off than someone who does it for a living and doesn't have that luxury.

Redglitter · 20/08/2023 00:01

I'm happy to go with her but I can't drive, and dh isn't willing to

So, get your husband to drop you both off

JFDIYOLO · 20/08/2023 00:33

I wonder if your choice not to learn to drive may be a symptom of a risk-averse nature, and you're now protecting this onto your daughter? A 'don't try' message?

Running a little business could be the very thing to improve her maths skills - and be something for her first CV and job interviews later on.

Interacting with others in a safe way can only be a good thing.

Making pretty things could be therapeutic and relaxing during the next stressful demanding few years.

Accepting her teenage brain is changing, growing and developing, understanding it's in their nature to try new things, reach out for new experiences, and also accepting some will be tried and dropped if they don't appeal - this is not a bad thing.

She can't do her online selling yet - she won't be accepted at her age.

Avoid car boot sales, they're for junk hunters and flippers. Craft fairs are a better bet.

Beware sinking lots of cash into what might turn into a money pit with no returns.

Get her to do a business plan - maybe donate a sum in sponsorship then see what she does with it - that will all be part of her education and developmemt.

Distantbells789 · 20/08/2023 00:40

One of my daughters did this as part of a sixth form project. They all banded together to make and market an eco product. The whole experience was fantastic! And there’s nothing like actually doing things rather than reading about them in a book to make lessons sink in. They learned about:

  • working as a team
  • the importance of having a strategy and communicating clearly
  • how to stick to a deadline
  • how to play to people’s strengths and delegate
  • how to resolve disputes
  • mass production.
  • buying materials and accounting
  • marketing and selling

I’d say it was an invaluable experience all round and that you would be wise to encourage your daughter op.

5foot5 · 20/08/2023 00:41

Also she struggles with maths so I'm not sure she'd know how to calculate everything and make a profit

I originally voted YABU but with this update I sort of changed my mind. This is surely the ideal opportunity to encourage her to hone her maths skills.

However I do understand your concerns about it distracting her from GCSEs. Perhaps you need an understanding in place that ensures homework and study get priority and the first hint that school work is being adversely affected will be the end of the business

TheWayoftheLeaf · 20/08/2023 01:21

If she can't afford to buy the materials, packaging etc herself then she can't set up a business. That's how businesses work. She needs to save up to do that.

WandaWonder · 20/08/2023 01:25

Yeah best if she hanging around outside shops vaping with her friends, is this one of those reverse things?

She is great!