Next doors screaming children

[Viralsunflower]

NC for this.

Next door have two very loud children. They've been very loud for a couple of years and there was a lot of night waking that would result in hours of crying. They've done a lot of renovations and taken out a lot of their soundproofing so we can hear all of it. I didn't say anything to them as the kids were still so small.

There is also a lot of other household noise from them that we hear a LOT of. I occasionally book weekend breaks in remote places purely to escape their noise but it's hard to do that nowadays, and it's costly!

Their children are now approx 4 and 3 and share the room that backs on to ours. They shout at each other in the night, and start having screaming matches. I get woken up every day by them screaming, hours before I am woken by my own family. The youngest screams basically all day.

We have actually looked at moving purely because of noise from their children but can't afford it.

Should we say something? DH is equally annoyed by it. We WFH sometimes and you can hear them all day. It is mainly the night time that is an issue, though. The other day they were awake at 4, and subsequently , so was I. It isn't a one off. Last night the children were awake at 4.30am and arguing over something, that escalated in to shouting and screaming. It went on for a long time. I nearly started banging the wall in a sleep rage but didn't.

you could mention it to them and possible they could do things like move the children bed away from the wall etc.

However is suspect they don’t want the children to be screaming all day too, so presumably they are not able to stop them.

Is it arguing screaming or might there be safeguarding issues? Do you hear the parents?

Have you looked in soundproofing your house?

Of course you should talk to them! Why haven't you long before now?

Neighbours could change the kids bedroom so it's further away from yours.

Yes speak to them

I'm sure their parents are at their wits end too. They will know that their kids are screaming and loud and I'm sure that they would stop it if they could.
I doubt you mentioning anything will do anything other than embarrass your neighbour

I have absolutely no idea why you wouldn’t speak to them?

You can mention it to them, but it's highly likely they have already realised you can hear and sadly I suspect like lots of people don't care.

It isn't a safeguarding issue, I can't say why as it's too outing but I'm confident it isn't.

Sometimes they just seem to scream for no reason. During the day I've seen the youngest stood outside screaming at the top of his lungs for no visible reason.

I didn't speak to them before due to the ages of the children, I thought there could be nightwaking, weaning off the dummy, any host of reasons that I do understand as a parent. With them being the ages they are now I'd hoped that this would stop. We've been wondering if they will ever move as we assume the house is too small for them if the kids share a room. I also really don't want to be "that" neighbour, I know we aren't perfect either because living in terraces you do risk hearing each other, but we don't really have any night time noise from our household.

Our house is as soundproof as it can be. They did a lot of stripping back, removal of things etc and it's got ten times louder since then.

Maybe they don't know you can hear it so loudly. I'd talk to them about it.

Also, I wouldn't count on them moving just because their children are sharing a room.

When I mentioned this to people about a year ago I was told I was very unreasonable to mention it, my fault for living in a terraced, and that it would likely stop. It's definitely got worse! That's why I haven't said anything.

They could swap bedrooms so that their children's room is on the other side of the house. They do have a room that is on an outside wall. That is what I'd do if my children were so loud at night or early morning.

Being woken regularly during the night effects you so much, and I know exactly how you feel as I have had similar neighbours for several years.

Do you have actual soundproofing added to your adjoining walls and floors (floor joists are often missed when dealing with sound transfer between houses). I have been adding soundproofing as and when I can afford it.

Are your terraces tiered? That can be tricky as the wallspace you share is slightly different.

What happened when you banged on the wall? This would be my reaction too.

There’s limits- you can’t complain about day noise because your partner wtf- but the late night, mid night stuff, or course you can.
Do they seem like reasonable people?

Wfh not wtf

Does that mean you could swap bedrooms also?

Find a way to move

I would be knocking on the door at 04:30 and asking them to stop the children screaming.

MN will always be contrary - if you’re suggesting having a word posters will tell you that you can’t because it’s worse for the parents, and if you say you haven’t posters will tell you off for not doing so.

Anyway - I’ve been here and it’s soul-destroying so I’m really sorry. It IS worth mentioning but I have to say that I doubt it’ll get anywhere. From my experience most really don’t care about others anymore. My NDN but one has had screamy shouty kids for as long as I’ve been here and it does my nut in.

You could speak to the council but annoyingly I think screaming kids are exempt from the noise nuisance rules.

Moving may be your best bet - which is awful but peace of mind is priceless.

I wish noisy people could all go and live next to one another and leave the rest of us in peace.

I've have a similar situation with my neighbour, young twins who would bang the walls constantly at 5am and scream and shout. This lasted 4 months as I didn't want to say anything. I finally had enough and spoke to the neighbour about it who was very apologetic, swapped their bedrooms round and there have been no issues since.

I still have issues like this. Terraced house with poor sound insulation. They had a baby about 5 years back and the dad used to scream shut the fuck up to the crying newborn and poor thing was left crying for hours (apparently not a safeguarding issue according to the police). They now have a second child- the crying and sweary shouting continues to both kids now. In the early days, I tried to subtly ask if all was ok and I was threatened with death by them. So be mindful on approaching neighbours about these kinds of issues.
We too are stuck and can’t move for a couple more years. I am sleep deprived and miserable. But generally told by mothers I shouldn’t judge people who have crying/noisy children.

Can you comment nicely about the change since they renovated. Ask if they'd like some help restoring the sound proofing. They are probably completely unaware of the difference since building works.
Can they double wall and make the wall a cupboard?

Have you ever baked the family some biscuits and offered, in polite conversation, that the kids were up very early this morning - how do you cope? The parents must be exhausted.

It is very trying. Do you wear ear plugs?

Could you move bedrooms? You could ask them politely to swap rooms with their DC, but they could refuse.

How do.you imagine they would do that ?
Short of gagging them which would be a safeguarding issue .

Does that mean you could swap bedrooms also?

No, ours are all occupied, theirs aren't. We also don't have one on an outside wall like they do.

I had a screamer. she had night terrors and anxiety/insomnia so would scream into the early hours. the neighbours complained to me. it makes no difference. if they could stop it from happening, then they would have already.

I do wear ear plugs but I have extra paranoia about not hearing my own children as DH is a deep sleeper.

The terraces are tiered, to answer a question ons person asked.

I really would love to move but we can't afford it with the way interest rates are. We have an incredibly comfortable mortgage which I'm keen to hold on to for at least 5 years.

What happened when you banged on the wall? This would be my reaction too.

I didn't do it because I didn't want to scare the children.