To think British maternity care must be among the worst in the developed world?

[ForestGoblin]

Nurses refusing to watch newborns when a mum needs to poo??? Nurses have got a professional and legal obligation to support patients to receive adequate personal care (not being compelled to poo yourself has got to be rung one of meeting that obligation).

Friends who have given birth in Ireland, france, south Korea, Switzerland were all given support to sleep, recover, be recognised as an injured person in need of recovery time.

British nurses trick new mothers into thinking they can't leave their babies for a minute on a bloody hospital ward (even when they've got numb legs).

Rise up, damnit!

It's not standard across most trusts at all, although the exit to the ward should be monitored 24/7.

Perfectly described. I thought I was a failure before I'd even started. Now I realise I was actually pretty badass

That is not happening and not what you’re original post was about.

Also, you can go to the toilet. Literally no midwife is stopping anyone from doing that. In fact they actively encourage it as it’s part of discharge requirements. You’re being extremely dramatic.

Yes that’s a lovely idea but there aren’t plenty of staff.

So who do I go to? Bearing in mind that from reading this thread the other 11 will think I’m a heartless uncaring cow for not helping with their problem.

Then when I feel like passing out and absolutely HAVE to sit down and eat a biscuit before I do, someone’s partner will see me and say ‘look love, you’re sat on your arse and my missus is in pain here’ so up I get again.

Not every shift is like this. But most are tbh and it’s a bit galling seeing midwives slagged off like this.

Nonsense! Who else’s job is it to help a patient to the bathroom when they are unable to other than the staff on the ward?Who else’s job is it to make sure the patient is appropriately fed other than staff on the ward?
You’re clearly defensive because of your daughter, no one has singled out MWs for specific tasks but it is absolutely the role of the ward to do the things you mentioned. No other patient would be left without food because they couldn’t walk to another floor to get it themselves!

I never expected a midwife to look after my baby but I do think my experience would have been better if I did have someone there to help me.

I am actually going to look into whether you can volunteer to do this, as this and the other thread has actually reminded me how traumatic those first couple of days were.

I was a teen with no support.
I had never even seen a baby in real life, let alone held one.
I had a very traumatic birth and my DD had issues because of it so I had to stay in hospital for 3 days.
I rarely saw the midwives apart from them checking on the babies.
They we’re lovely, they were just very busy.

I had no visitors and I literally had no idea what I was doing.
I read lots of books and so I wasn’t stupid but it was very different when there is a real life baby screaming at you.

I was told to go and have a bath as I had blood all over me from the traumatic birth and to take my baby with me but she kept crying and I remember feeding her then getting in the bath, just for her to cry again so I’d have to get back out and try and stop her crying just to get back in and her cry again.

I hadn’t slept for a couple of days as my labour went on and I was already exhausted and I just remember crying and I hated being a mum from day 1 because I couldn’t even have a bath.

She then didn’t sleep for more than 30mins at a time, so it just got worse.

I developed PND which led to psychosis and although I do not blame the midwives at all.
I do think having someone on the wards to just support you or hold baby for 5mins whilst you try and pee whilst simultaneously pouring a jug of water on you so your urine doesn’t sting your stitches, would have helped me get through the first couple of days and learn how to cope better.

Me too! I didn’t even consider asking a nurse to watch the baby. My care was adequate and we both made it out the hospital alive and well. Unless I’d lost the baby from malpractice, I wouldn’t even think about going abroad to give birth

more woman are going to want DH there than those who don't want to be around men.

I don’t think that’s true. And even if it were the wishes of women at their most vulnerable who don’t want men around should come first. You can’t have a relative with you 24/7 on any other hospital ward.

@Tippley MSWs are also often run off their feet doing hourly observations on some babies, baby blood sugar monitoring, jaundice level checking, feeding support, working alongside the neonatal doctor doing checks and the midwife doing examination of the newborn, emptying catheters, removing catheters, doing maternal obs, then documenting it all on stupid IT systems that don’t bloody work… often 1 or 2 on a shift for 30 plus women and babies. So no they won’t be sitting cuddling babies or being food around either.

most trusts now how a hostess on a ward who sorts the food out and they are employed from a private company. Although this won’t be in all trusts as yet.

also some trusts have security tags on babies, although mine doesn’t, so that’s not a given

I think a lot of this stems from the attitude that runs deep in society that you 'made the decision to have a child,' therefore you put up with with this treatment. I do not feel mothers are valued in British society and I think this is reflected in the poor levels of maternity care. I was lucky in the sense that I had a straightforward birth and I actually felt I received brilliant maternity care at East Surrey hospital. However, I felt really let down when I was discharged into the care of the community midwives. Whether or not it is because they are overstretched but I felt like my baby and I became nothing more than a tick box exercise for them and they could not wait to hand us over to the health visitor. I really hoped to successfully breastfeed but the community midwives became almost annoyed with me when I said I needed help with it and was finding it difficult (despite the fact that they heavily pushed it at every antenatal appointment I attended). This then lead to my baby struggling to gain weight and when I ended up turning to formula the community midwife then had the nerve to tut and to give me a disapproving look like I was a naughty child!

You could let partners stay for a start.

If my hospital had let me husband stay overnight, 2 hours after my EMCS, I wouldn’t have to keep ringing my buzzer to have something passed to me or to have my baby passed to me each time he was crying!

We need a massive overhaul of the NHS but NOONE dares do it. Look at France and Spain. Co payment is the way to go with exceptions for certain people. We have become so used to it being 'free' we have forgotton how to use the NHS.

Agreed I was neglected and abused by my nurse which resulted in my husband signing me and my baby out at midnight due to the trauma.
I couldn’t understand some nurses and often had the words satsuma shouted at me without context. Which I later realised meant that I was been offered an orange.

I didn't realise that. It's such a postcode lottery, I had excellent experiences during both of my labours and the aftercare was brilliant. It is such a shame that not all hospitals offer the same level of care.

@Taq

I hear you.

And I see you every working day.

❤️

Why do you think it was ok for me to be left by myself to look after my baby less than 2 hours after my EMCS, still numb, after 2 days of labour, just because I gave birth in the evening? Did I not have a right for my husband to be with me?

What about the wishes of the woman at their most vulnerable who want DH around tho surely their wishes also have to be considered. It takes two to make a baby at the end of the day

You also aren’t expected to look after a baby hours after having surgery on any other ward. The staff on the ward couldn’t so much as get me a glass of water when it husband wasn’t there, no way could I have cared for myself and a baby overnight alone less than a handful of hours after a long labour and an EMCS.

I’m guessing not nearly the number who come here to give birth! Perhaps if that was clamped down on we wouldn’t be in such dire straits!!

Were you cared for by nurses or midwives?

THANK YOU. 100% this

I'm shocked reading this to be honest. Patients don't get food brought to them? I thought that was hospital 101? I gave birth to both of mine in Ireland and I don't really have much to say about it. I had really straight forward births so was in and out both times. Gave birth in the evening, home for lunch the next day. I do remember when I had ds he cried all night long and one of the midwives said she would take him for a while so I could get some sleep but she brought him back after 10mins saying he wouldn't stop, it's the thought that counts I suppose 😂

Whoever signed off the new mums need to walk to breakfast on another floor hasn’t had a baby. The mums having to walk to another room for breakfast seems to be a thing. Why? Even if you have avoided c section you are knackered and the whole logistics of what to do with baby.
I’d had a spinal so was numb from neck down. No tea & toast post birth. I couldn’t walk to a room to get food. It was hours before I was fed and made to feel like a nuisance. Yet they do observations and wonder why your stats are awful.
I had many hospital stays for other reasons and they always brought food and drink to bed on a trolley. Why is post birth different?

I disagree with letting partners or any additional family members stay for too long.

Although I can imagine it must take a lot of pressure off the staff, I would feel much less comfortable leaving my baby to go to the toilet or even sleeping, knowing there are lots of other people on the ward.

I also think the post natal ward is a place where you should freely be able to talk about your nipples, haemorrhoids and vagina etc without feeling self conscious that the 20 extra men in the room are listening.

The UK is the North Korea of healthcare: an absolute shitshow with a populace who blindly believe its the best in the world.