To think British maternity care must be among the worst in the developed world?

[ForestGoblin]

Nurses refusing to watch newborns when a mum needs to poo??? Nurses have got a professional and legal obligation to support patients to receive adequate personal care (not being compelled to poo yourself has got to be rung one of meeting that obligation).

Friends who have given birth in Ireland, france, south Korea, Switzerland were all given support to sleep, recover, be recognised as an injured person in need of recovery time.

British nurses trick new mothers into thinking they can't leave their babies for a minute on a bloody hospital ward (even when they've got numb legs).

Rise up, damnit!

For balance, my maternity care was brilliant in the NHS for all my DC

I had one complicated pregnancy and birth, couldn’t fault the care.

The staff were busy and took a while to get to you after ringing the bell, but they always apologised and were fully engaged.

I know other women who experienced the same hospital and thought it was awful, couldn’t wait to get out of there. I kind of think a lot is down to expectations… maybe mine were low after reading horror stories on mumsnet!!

I don’t know what people are expecting? Yes hospitals are noisy and there are frequent checks throughout the night, food is like school dinners (I enjoyed some of it!), you have to be patient.

The only thing I did find annoying was the lack of continuity of care in the community.

When I needed the toilet I just wheeled the baby crib to the nurses station and they kept an eye on the babies. Not doing that is shit and you should have complained to PALS

You don't need a qualified MW to watch your baby while you go to the bathroom or to bring your breakfast to you. It's a secure unit and your baby is tagged. MW's aren't waitresses or care assistants.
But there are no care assistants. So who’s going to help new mums and bring them food? The midwife is the only person there!

I had an agonising labour followed by a c section and couldn’t eat for over 24 hours. Afterwards I was stuck in bed, still paralysed from the waist down with a catheter in, and desperately hungry. The midwives refused to bring me any food because it was 10pm. Told me to wait till breakfast! Then told me off because I was sobbing with hunger and saying I was going to pass out.

At breakfast they had nothing I could eat - I have a wheat allergy which they were informed about when I arrived at hospital the previous day. They took my catheter out and told me to walk to the shop - but I couldn’t take my baby and they wouldn’t look after her for me. By lunchtime, when the trolley came round yet again with no wheat-free food, I collapsed and fainted. Then they finally took action and gave me a sugary drink - but no food. A CLEANER took pity on me and brought me a microwave meal.

When the doctor came round to discharge me, he was going to keep me in because I’d fainted. I told him I’d fainted because of lack of food, and begged him to discharge me so I could get a proper meal. Made a formal complaint but nothing ever got done.

Agree with this you are really being dramatic and OTT with this comment. You should stop these antics, they really are not helpful at all.

Oh behave.

Can partners give breastfeeding support and hand out drugs? Can partners check wounds and do baby checks? Don’t be daft.

Partners are there in the day in my hospital, not at night. The thought of an extra 12 men on the ward overnight farting and FaceTime-ing and asking for cups of tea and pillows would push me over the edge I’m afraid. Your partner might be helpful but I can tell you, most are not.
And the thought of some of these women not getting a break from their partners is dreadful.

Night time is when the DV gets disclosed. When the partners leave.

I call bullshit on this "i bet theyd love to help but they are so busy they JUST CANT"

I had my first in london and it was barbaric frankly. I cried with happiness when i left.

I was 6 hours out from a c section and chatised for ringing my bell
my baby was crying and i had slipped down the bed and couldnt get up.
The midwives were having a particularly hot gossip at the nurses station so ignored me for 10 mins during which time i sort of fell out the bed and managed to reach my baby. I was curtly informed i could just go to the desk if i needed something instead of ringing the bell.
When i asked for pain relief because i had hurt myself i was advised nothing would be available until morning rounds not even paracetamol.
She them told me a walk would do me good... but they wouldnt mind the baby so i should take her too. Carrying her was "good for me"... i declined.
She then went back to the station slagged me off and explained first time mothers are lazy and want to be pampered and they all had a good laugh.

There was a lot more but i dont even care to recall it all.
The midwives were indifferent to the point of borderline inhuman.

It was the worst night of my life and i could well understand why the woman in the next cubicle wept bitter tears when they told her she couldnt be discharged she'd been in over a week already.

I hate that the excuse is always "midwife shortages". This is absolutely true. But there seems to be no incentive to think outside the box.

Our local hospital used to have a team of breastfeeding support workers come in to support with feeding. The supporters had time to spend with families and cared. This freed up midwives to be able to provide the essential medical care.

The CCG pulled the funding for this service saying that midwives had training in feeding support. Even though they KNEW there was a huge shortage of midwives.

In an ideal world a ward should be fully staffed with midwives. If you can't hire midwives surely qualified support workers are better than no staff to support and assist women? The CCGs are happy to underfund the service. Women's health doesn't matter.

Omg ladies. If someone squeezes your breasts without consent - dial 999!!!!!!

I've seen comments on here about the French attitude to new mothers, and how differently they are treated, and I think the issue in the UK is simply a hangover from Puritan times. We're apparently not meant to be having sex, even for procreation purposes, and therefore need to suffer for it. See the Bible for the "justification"!

And women are routinely discriminated against in medical matters.

Just stop it now. You really are being childish aren't you?

Health care in the UK is now embarrassingly poor. If the millions given to universities to train up midwives and nurses was used to train them up on the wards we’d be in a much better place. It’s not the only solution but it is one.

Thank you 💕

No you’re not. But the answer is adequate staffing not letting men hang around 24/7. We fight ferociously to protect women’s spaces, there’s uproar if a man so much as puts his head into women’s loos (which have partitions and locks) yet allow them onto postnatal wards where women are half naked behind flimsy curtains. The lack of logic is mind blowing.

When I had my son, the antenatal care was very good, and I was well looked after during labour, but the post-natal care left something to be desired and I couldn't get out of the hospital quickly enough.

It seems that there are massive differences in set-ups and staffing levels in different areas. I wouldn't expect a midwife to bring me breakfast, no, but our hospital had catering staff who took orders for food and brought it round on a trolley to serve at set times every day. No midwives involved with the serving of food at all. That just seems like common sense, surely? Don't other hospitals have catering/serving staff?

So while the NHS has bugger all staff to care for women, what do you suggest the proposition is please? I had a 2 day labour and ended up with an emergency category 1 risk to life c section because the hospital fucked up my induction. I gave birth at 7.30pm, and my husband was not allowed to come up to the ward with me. I was in pain, exhausted, water left out of my reach, still numb from waste down, couldn’t comfort or hold baby without help. Was completely neglected by staff, who also failed to do proper checks on my son, didn’t care if we was feeding or not and certainly didn’t care how I was feeling. I now have PTSD and am terrified about my second birth.

So I ask you again, until there are more staff, what’s the solution here? Why do you think it was ok for my husband to be sent home, not allowed to help me and not allowed to see his son?

Totally agree with you OP, it is criminal. With my first I had an emergency c-section getting out of bed was such a pain and I was told I had to wait and wait and wait for someone to come and help me walk to the loo or lift up my new born to attempt feeding. In the end I pushed to leave hospital after just over 24 hours to go back home.
In my husbands part of the world when a new mother is visited people bring food, help look after the baby when the mother sleeps, washes, has something warm to eat etc, visits are always around what the mother needs. My own MIL stayed with us for a week and helped with housework and cooking so I could rest up. It was such an amazing help.
My friend from South Korea talks about the amazing care in hospitals and in addition to this they have private post partum facilities, these are not not used when there is family who is available to help.

Are you ok hun? You would reasonably be charged with misuse if you did that.

@Itsnotrightbutitsok you were vulnerable and should have got more 1-1 support. That’s not ok and I’m sorry for your experience. We should be directing intensive support to mums like you x

It's awful.

My DD nearly fell off the bed because I'd had a c section and could not turn to get her where she had slipped down. I was clinging onto her arm for about 2 hours - no staff helped me. It wasn't until my partner arrived with some more things for me that he helped us move back up the bed.

I don't have enough words to describe how let down I was with my son though. He was born at 27 weeks, I was dismissed as a hysterical mother when I first turned up, barely able to work in full blown labor with an extremely premature breech baby. The way they spoke to me was appalling.

After his birth, I was put on a ward with other mothers and their babies. I was then transferred to the same hospital, on my own, where my son had been taken 24 hours later and the expecting hospital had no idea who I was. Apparently, a specialist midwife should of accompanied me to explain what had happened.

Honestly, every midwife I have come across has been shit. I hate to say that but the lack of compassion for fellow women is like no other.

The “care” I received on the postnatal ward after giving birth to my first baby was appalling. Negligent, actually. I couldn’t even begin to list the grievances I have, looking back. I wish I’d put in a stronger complaint at the time, but I was too traumatised to even consider it.

The issue is the working culture, not even across one hospital or NHS trust but nationally.

I can’t be mad at midwives. All but one of the midwives that dealt with me during my two births were amongst some of the kindest and most caring people I’ve met. However, I agree that the quality of care falls short but it is pure and simply down to things that are out of midwives’ control. A lack of staff is so evident and as previous posters have pointed out if you have 24 humans in your sole care (12 mothers and 12 babies) and even just 50% of those patients need your care at the same time; what are you supposed to do? They can’t magic more hands and split themselves into six (although I’m sure they wish they could). The caring midwives I had were brilliant and patient but you could see how frazzled they were and how some of them seemed defeated by the situation. Again, I’m not justifying the lack of care in our country but I feel those blaming the midwives themselves are for the most part blaming the wrong people. Aim your anger at those making the decisions over staff ratios and working conditions. Aim your anger at those who could make a difference to recruitment and retention; that’s how standards will improve…more qualified people who can then care for fewer patients. If we don’t hold those making the decisions accountable the situation will only get worse as more and more midwives will simply decide enough is enough and leave the profession.

Haven’t read the full thread, only the OP, but this is exactly why I’m giving birth in a private maternity hospital and have had private care for most of my pregnancy. We made sacrifices for this and will probably only have one child as it’s very expensive but there’s no way I was going to have a baby on an NHS maternity ward.

But the point we’re making is that the lack of staff/shit staff isn’t going to be solved anytime soon is it, realistically. So what else do you expect women to do? Put up with traumatic and neglectful care?

Some of her comments are just pathetic quite frankly.

It’s been 13 years since I last gave birth, but even then I felt there was a lack of resources to take care of my basic needs post birth. It didn’t come down to the nurses not wanting to help, but more that they simply didn’t have the time. They were continually rushed off their feet.

I was in a ward with 4 bays and we managed to support each other with things like keeping an eye ok each other’s babies whilst we showered etc. Luckily we were all fairly well after giving birth so were able to move around ok.