To think British maternity care must be among the worst in the developed world?

[ForestGoblin]

Nurses refusing to watch newborns when a mum needs to poo??? Nurses have got a professional and legal obligation to support patients to receive adequate personal care (not being compelled to poo yourself has got to be rung one of meeting that obligation).

Friends who have given birth in Ireland, france, south Korea, Switzerland were all given support to sleep, recover, be recognised as an injured person in need of recovery time.

British nurses trick new mothers into thinking they can't leave their babies for a minute on a bloody hospital ward (even when they've got numb legs).

Rise up, damnit!

What I find interesting is myself ( mixed race middle Eastern and South Asian, but UK born) and a Greek woman from my NCT group were treated horribly but none of the white English and (crucially) middle class women were. Both of us are "middle class" professionals university educated etc for what it's worth.The other nct members were aghast at my experience amd hers.
Since I've gone onto hear about how women of colour and particularly black women have been mistreated during and after labour. I believe them!
The crazy thing is most of the staff in the aftercare were non white overseas and possibly agency staff.
I'm sorry I've opened up a can of worms but this does need discussing and fixing!

More laziness and lies. Go and find where I said I believe 'the issue is onlyawful, terrible midwives.' Of course you're not bothering to address anything of substance that I said.

I'm not remotely hurting actually so you can spare me your fake compassion. I had a fantastic maternity care experience. But I have this strange thing called empathy, where I get angry on behalf of other women who have been treated badly. I also absolutely despise dishonesty. The midwifery profession as a whole (not individual excellent members of it) deserves the vitriol.

If anything the kindest midwife who I thankfully saw on my final 3 days pf hospital "aftercare" imprisonment was the older lady white English lady with the tattoos on her arms and thick London accent who hugged me and told me I was doing great! This was after I had had enough and burst into tears. And don't worry about breastfeeding you can always do formula or combine feeding. I did in fact combine feed and glad I didn't give up.
Yes a little kindness and empathy does go a long way!

Weren't you the one who just said there's been no hate to midwives or nurses then a post later says the deserve your vitriol?

Calling other posters cry bullies when that's how your acting is ridiculous. Actually think you're probably OP under a name change

I think a lot of what is happening could be better if hospitals allows partners to stay longer . Give women individual rooms so that partners can stay and care for the baby and help , this would allow the ones with no support to get extra help from staff . Send women home faster , no need to have people in hospital than 24 h unless they are having treatment or they lack support at home .
There needs to be a mix of responsibility here . I have had a vaginal birth and 4 c sections from a serious emergency to planned ones . It’s been obviously that midwife’s are stretched on every occasion and nit monsters who refused to help , O also see many women who lack preparation , I had my last child in Scotland Aberdeen to be more precise and that is where my best care was , caring staff , enough midwife’s , food offered , I cannot fault it . Yet there was a lady in my ward that called the midwife all night long every few minutes , her complaints where ridiculous , Im unsure if the baby’s nappy is to tight , can you help me put one , the baby is crying , can you tell em what milk I can use ( she had 2 different brands ) , she couldn’t put the baby clothes on the morning as she clearly didn’t know how to handle the baby . Honestly I was in disbelieve on how unprepared this woman was and I doubt all the support in the hospital could have helped .
With regards to getting up and caring for baby , women need to realised the faster you move the faster you heal ( excluding those poorly ) you need to bond with the baby and adjust .

I. Am. Not. A. Midwife.

Your inability to read means you're currently yelling at the wrong people. I've been nothing but compassionate - it's your posts lacking empathy.

ok, it certainly used to be the case that midwives generally did a nursing degree or training first and then midwifery training after. On a quick google, it looks as though this has changed ? when, so that midwifery can be done on its own. However, it is still possible to do a shorter add on course after nursing.

I'm still not sure whether I had nurses or midwives when I miscarried, as I can't remember whether it was supposed to be an antenatal or a gyne ward. It was a bit of a blur. It may well have been gyne, not sure which way the staffing would be in that case.

Presumably you'd expect patients to be fed and have bleeding monitored etc whichever profession it was?

How many years after the event do you think a debriefing would be appropriate?

Mine too

Meant to reply to “mine was brilliant”

No matter how amazing the hospital or midwife is, pregnancy, birth and labour can be very traumatic. Often our traumatic experience makes us feel as if we have had a bad midwife or overall treatment.

I think women are perfectly capable of distinguishing a traumatic birth from poor quality care. I wasn't particularly traumatised by my birth, I still think that a ward not providing meals for patients who cannot walk to get them is shit.

Apologies for the spelling too . I drove 7 h last night and only slept 2 hours since

When I had my second baby in England a very long time ago I bled an awful lot. It was to the extent I had to wear two pads to stop leakage but even then I leaked. Anyway one time I was feeding the baby and I felt a gush with an after pain and once I settled the baby I asked for a clean bottom bed sheet only to be told by the harridan who ran the ward, a much older woman who’d never married or had children, that I was too lazy to get up and change myself regularly and the two pads I said was wearing proved it. I felt about 2 inches high and once she launched her tirade at me I could only say but I’m even wearing two pads and that was when she notched it all up a bit. She didn’t even address me for most of it but instead chose to tell a student midwife instead. It was mortifying and I was crying and she then came over to my bed to make amends because she knew she’d got too far and I told her not to dare come near me or my baby as long as I was in hospital.

I still think about my baby being born when I was squatting in a wheelchair whilst being pushed along the corridor then having to climb on to a delivery table with the baby between my legs. But the bit that still stings is what the Sister said to me.

Your gaslighting is clear. You have literally said traumatic births can make us feel like our car was poor. Awful.

My hospital admitted negligence on several parts. We’re not insane you know.

I think a lot of what is happening could be better if hospitals allows partners to stay longer . Give women individual rooms so that partners can stay and care for the baby and help

It would be considerably more cost effective to employ more healthcare assistants to provide that help than creating countless single rooms. The answer to sub par postnatal care isn’t to subcontract it to partners - what happens to women with useless partners, women whose partners have to care for older children or women with no partner at all?

I was replying to someone who was trying to infer that Black women were treated worse, when I was having a baby in London all my nurses were black, when I go to A&E in London all the nurses are black so I can’t see that they would treat their own kind badly.

I found the midwives during the birth were lovely

It was the aftercare which was so awful on 2/3

It was slightly better when I had 2nd dd as I had my own room and it was Summer and weekend

‘She’s’ part of the problem? To be a midwife you have to take out a loan and go to Uni but you still have to do 12 hour shifts for free at a hospital and pay for your parking. Is this fair? The work very fucking hard, so get off your high horse, maybe it’s people like you that are the problem. A baby can be left unattended whilst you go to the toilet, but you expect a nurse to wait on you? Have you got servants at home? You expect a nurse to babysit for you whilst she could be looking after a baby without a parent. Unfeckingbelievable.

I work extremely hard as an NHS doctor. I will never defend poor practice and encourage patients to complain if they have had poor care.

Medical training isn’t free either btw and doctors pay for parking. Your point is not really relevant here is it??

I stand by all my comments and will never support patients being treated badly.

I think it's awful that the bursaries and free places have gone for NHS students

Yes working for free on the wards should offset your fees or they should pay you

I realise that you probably didn’t mean it badly but please don’t say “their own kind” in a racial context.

Your anecdotal evidence doesn’t trump the studies that have shown and proven otherwise.

But are they being treated badly? Or are people just inconsiderate. You don’t work for free when you’re qualified and I don’t think doctors and nurses should have to pay for parking. I’m on your side but you’ve misunderstood what I meant.

Love seeing the hcp’s come on this thread and prove the point that they lack empathy and professionalism for us.

YANBU. I've had more than my fair share of hospital care sadly but I can say completely honestly that my maternity 'care' was the worst care I have ever received in any hospital setting. It actually left me with a degree of trauma and that's not a word I use lightly. It is a key factor in why I never had another child and that is truly shameful in a modern state.

At a systemic level I have been badly let down by the NHS on a couple of occasions BUT my maternity stay was the only time I felt treated with a total lack of human care - and sadly it was the female midwives who treated me this way, not the male doctors.

The way you were spoken is not ok at all, absolutely no excuse for that . But bear in mind that by 24 h after you are supposed to be up and walking ok . I have had 4 c-sections from different kinds of emergency ones to planned ones and you really must get up as soon as the spinal wears off or your recovery will be much worse , I do understand how this goes against anything your body tells you but it really makes it easier in the long run