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Original poster

To think British maternity care must be among the worst in the developed world?

628 replies

ForestGoblin · 18/08/2023 08:14

Nurses refusing to watch newborns when a mum needs to poo??? Nurses have got a professional and legal obligation to support patients to receive adequate personal care (not being compelled to poo yourself has got to be rung one of meeting that obligation).

Friends who have given birth in Ireland, france, south Korea, Switzerland were all given support to sleep, recover, be recognised as an injured person in need of recovery time.

British nurses trick new mothers into thinking they can't leave their babies for a minute on a bloody hospital ward (even when they've got numb legs).

Rise up, damnit!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
giggly · 19/08/2023 20:15

I had excellent health care with both my births. Nothing but praise from me. Like most of the NHS in the UK it will come done to postcodes and individual trusts.
of course you don’t hear about the good service only the bad.
bad.
You seem to be confusing midwives and nurses

Cowlover89 · 19/08/2023 20:17

I've got nothing bad to say to the hospital I had my son. They went above and beyond and look forward to having my little girl there 😊

Cowlover89 · 19/08/2023 20:20

I just left my son when I went to the toilet. Was perfectly safe to do so

CrystalCascade · 19/08/2023 20:20

giggly · 19/08/2023 20:15

I had excellent health care with both my births. Nothing but praise from me. Like most of the NHS in the UK it will come done to postcodes and individual trusts.
of course you don’t hear about the good service only the bad.
bad.
You seem to be confusing midwives and nurses

My neighbour has just given birth, severe postpartum psychosis and care was exemplary!
Just make sure you're in an affluent area i guess (she went to her parents' in a posh postcode to give birth).

Same as with GP's. When I lived in an affluent area I had GP's do my routine smears. Here I can barely get an appt and have been seen by a succession of 'something practitioner/prescriber/whatever.

CrystalCascade · 19/08/2023 20:21

Not for smears of course but other things

concernedmumhelp · 19/08/2023 20:26

I also remember being transferred from hospital to a different community unit a few days postpartum and not being given lunch. I was breastfeeding a hungry baby - it wasn't going smoothly, which was part of why we'd been transferred - and was really hungry myself. You need to be fed regularly as a new mother to help the milk production I managed to get at one point to a nursing station and begged for food, any food. I remember the nurse being rather amused and dismissive. She definitely wasn't rushing to save someone's life either.

ChatBFP · 19/08/2023 20:27

Honestly, pretty terrible care for me, but in a hospital in which lots of people do have good experiences.

First one, long induction, with emergency c section. Monitoring by midwives but thought my waters had broken when they hadn't (and didn't check - it was the second lot of fluid for the induction), missed baby being back to back. Gave me a lot of grief for not pushing hard enough. Told me that I should expect to have forceps and not a caesarian as they pushed me to the theatre to the consultant, who promptly told them there was no way the baby was coming out and that there was nothing wrong with the pushing I was doing, then when I fell asleep after section and 3 nights without sleep, they verbally abused me for not being awake to feed my baby. Traumatic.

Second elective section in covid. Section and medical care was a dream. No one cared to help me with my tray when my husband went home to look after first child. Watched me waddle to the door to get my food tray, then again gave me grief when my stitches split. Responded to the buzzer (which I had to then use as they had told me to stay in bed) with very bad grace, so I tried to get out of there asap. If I had better care, I'd probably have been able to pick up some of the feeding issues we had in hospital and seek help, but I didn't feel able to ask.

bobster31 · 19/08/2023 20:28

After the birth of my first DC, I contracted a really awful chest infection in the hospital which left me struggling to breathe and having to stay in for just over a week. I remember the day after the birth going to use the toilet which I discovered was covered in someone else's shit. I went to the nurse's station (the whole time pushing my baby along in the cot as I was told I mustn't leave them alone EVER and gasping for breath) to tell them about it only to be handed a pair of rubber gloves and told to clean it myself as they were too busy.

BIossomtoes · 19/08/2023 20:30

Jesus @bobster31, that’s shocking.

Lancrelady80 · 19/08/2023 20:55

Haven't read full thread but am another who received shocking "care." I think the issue is that staff on the ward are so overwhelmed that on the whole many have lost the idea that new mums are patients themselves and need kindness and care, because there are just so many tasks to be done by so few people. They see the never ending job list, not the recovering patient. There also seemed to be an idea that we would magically know where things were kept, what the rules were for moving around with/without baby. Got yelled out for carrying ds out of my cubicle to find help when he had once again soaked himself (and me, and his crib sheet, and my sheet) with sick. We can't abide by guidelines if noone tells us! I had 45mins with a screaming baby I couldn't reach as needed a spinal for stitches and crib was at end of bed where I couldn't reach it. Staff were at desk around the corner talking (probably about something necessary to be fair) but noone responded to him or the bell.

My take on it is care is shit because unlike other wards there is confusion over who the care is for, baby or mum, and mums get overlooked as patients due to the sheet number of tasks the staff need to do. They are burnt out and some lose their kindness and humanity along the way. (Not all, thank goodness.) More bodies on the ground are needed. I don't suppose any of us give a damn if they are nurses, midwives, students, volunteers, whatever when it comes to things like fetching paralysed women water or food, or supporting them with trying to get to the bathroom.

I don't blame the staff, they are so burnt out they have lost perspective. But staffing in some way or other needs to increase, and regular training around the importance of compassion to vulnerable women who have just been through something physically and emotionally traumatic might not go amiss either.

greenbeansnspinach · 19/08/2023 20:58

Has this seriously been suggested???

110APiccadilly · 19/08/2023 20:58

PearlRuby · 18/08/2023 09:41

I am from the U.K. but had my dc in another country. Is it the case that you don’t get meals brought to you on the maternity ward here? That seems crazy. I could hardly walk after having my first.

I had meals brought to me but in light of this thread I wonder whether that was an infection control measure - my first baby was born during 2020 and my second while I actually had Covid (asymptomatically, I only knew because they swabbed me on admission to hospital). Frankly having Covid was a blessing as I got a private ensuite room!

I've had good care in/after both pregnancies in general, but neither were quite "normal" for different reasons so I can't hold up my experience as the norm either. I'm also a well educated, middle class, statistically literate woman. So I'm probably going in with some advantages there.

Cucucucu · 19/08/2023 21:00

I think it’s a very regional thing too . I had my first 2 in England , the care was not great ,barely saw a midwife or nurse after despite teu second being a c section , no help at all . I had my last in Scotland and it was such a contrast . I had one midwife with me on recovered the whole time after a c section , despite my partner being with me she was still there checking on me asking me if I was ok . Nurses came if I called mostly when I was send to a ward and they actually listened to me when I requested a very early discharge and had a doctor do the baby check at 7 am so I could go home . They brought me my meal to bed every day too and never made me feel like a burden

concernedmumhelp · 19/08/2023 21:06

I did have a lovely community midwife but I had a number of dubious experiences when in hospital (some worse than the ones already mentioned).

My consultant obstetrician for my second (live, full term) pregnancy was wonderful.

Izzy24 · 19/08/2023 21:12

TTCmum90 · 19/08/2023 17:52

Well, this is the price of free healthcare. If you're comparing to to other 'developed' countries (and may I point out the crudeness and ignorance of this remark, as you'll find most of the best doctors in the West come from other parts of the world and don't gripe about pay and working conditions like they do here) than you'll have to factor in the fact that it costs to receive the care. By paying for healthcare (privately or via insurance), more is funnelled into the hospitals and they are thus able to better train and retain staff. It boggles my mind to no end how much people in the UK complain when things are given freely, but don't stop to consider why it is that way when it is given for free.

It’s not ‘free’. We pay for it through taxation.

The problem is that no political party will
grasp the nettle and acknowledge that we don’t pay enough.

And no, we don’t need to prune out useless managers blah blah to save money and divert it to where it’s needed - the complexity of care needs now has far outstripped the original vision of the NHS.

’Make the NHS more efficient‘ is just propaganda to avoid the real issue.

Izzy24 · 19/08/2023 21:15

bobster31 · 19/08/2023 20:28

After the birth of my first DC, I contracted a really awful chest infection in the hospital which left me struggling to breathe and having to stay in for just over a week. I remember the day after the birth going to use the toilet which I discovered was covered in someone else's shit. I went to the nurse's station (the whole time pushing my baby along in the cot as I was told I mustn't leave them alone EVER and gasping for breath) to tell them about it only to be handed a pair of rubber gloves and told to clean it myself as they were too busy.

Sorry, I simply don’t believe this.

Italianasoitis · 19/08/2023 21:19

I've given birth in 3 countries; Qatar, Italy and the UK. The UK was the most complicated but the most positive experience by far.

woodhill · 19/08/2023 21:20

Clefable · 18/08/2023 08:45

I'm afraid I just left both DDs when I needed the loo though, it didn't really occur to me to ask anyone to watch them when they were both asleep in my cubicle on a closed ward. Maybe that was a faux pas, but no one ever said anything!

Yes I did as well

Ooh I was told to have a shower by one nurse then another complaining I'd left the baby but he was my 3rd so I argued back

DVL · 19/08/2023 21:22

My first child was born on the MLU and they were brilliant, so attentive - it was lovely and relaxing (it was a quiet day for them though). Second was born in the delivery suite because the MLU was full, whole different experience. Midwives were rushed off their feet and care was non existent.

Ended up getting discharged the following afternoon (had baby at 6.30pm the day before) even though we were both healthy, just because there was only one discharge midwife! So many of us just waiting around to go home but the ladies in labour obviously come first. I honestly think they are just too busy to help in most instances

vibecheck · 19/08/2023 21:25

@Izzy24 at this point I (and many others) would rather pay more into insurance than more into tax. I think the days of the public blindly agreeing the NHS needs bottomless amounts of money via increased taxes are over.

crostini · 19/08/2023 21:25

I gave birth in the UK and overseas as well. Both had their flaws. I wouldn't, on balance say the the UK was worse.

Universalcredtt · 19/08/2023 21:27

I was told I wasn’t allowed to take my baby into the bathroom with me after birth I had severe diarrhoea but the nurses wouldn’t watch him. They told me leave him in the cot on the ward and I refused ? It was visiting time and there were total strangers in the 4 bedded bay.
I took him in with me and they were banging on the door . When I came out they said I was never to do that again . I said ‘but you wouldn’t let me put the cot by your desk and I wasn’t happy to leave him in the ward?’ They said I was exhibiting strange and concerning behaviour

Bugbabe1970 · 19/08/2023 21:34

I had my first child in hospital nearly 30 years ago. I went in to have to more at home as I was so traumatised by the 'care' I received while in hospital having my first

I am now a grandma and both my DiLs also had shocking care in hospital. It's a bloody sad state of affairs

threatmatrix · 19/08/2023 21:42

knitnerd90 · 18/08/2023 08:33

The racial gaps in maternity care in the UK are appalling also. We like to blame all the issues and bad outcomes in America on their for profit health system, but we don't do better! I gave birth in London near the time of the Northwick Park scandal and as I recall all the women who died were not white.

Strange isn’t it, as most nurses in aLonfon are black.

Pollyputhekettleon · 19/08/2023 21:46

NoDought · 19/08/2023 20:11

I think it should be less an attack on the ‘nurses’ who are actually midwives if you would like to give them their correct title and should be more an attack on the government for making this an insufferable job and ridiculously understaffed. If they are too busy to help you have a poo they are likely prioritising the care of a sick mother or child.

There's absolutely no way an honest person could read every account here of appalling care and genuinely believe it can all be blamed on understaffing.