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Original poster

To think British maternity care must be among the worst in the developed world?

628 replies

ForestGoblin · 18/08/2023 08:14

Nurses refusing to watch newborns when a mum needs to poo??? Nurses have got a professional and legal obligation to support patients to receive adequate personal care (not being compelled to poo yourself has got to be rung one of meeting that obligation).

Friends who have given birth in Ireland, france, south Korea, Switzerland were all given support to sleep, recover, be recognised as an injured person in need of recovery time.

British nurses trick new mothers into thinking they can't leave their babies for a minute on a bloody hospital ward (even when they've got numb legs).

Rise up, damnit!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
12
Rosebel · 19/08/2023 18:42

mullyluo · 18/08/2023 08:35

Have had a baby with both NHS and HSE in Ireland. Ireland was miles better. They offered to take the baby overnight for c-section mothers, had brought meals and snacks to the bed, had short visiting hours and I even saw a physio as standard before I left. It's also a min 3 night stay after c-sections. Compare that to emergency section with NHS (baby got stuck during section) where the surgeon came round the next day to ask if I would leave when I still couldn't walk, constant noise from partners and visitors on wards and really poor pain relief.

All my 3 were born by c section and I was in for 3 nights with all. In fact with DS they wanted me to stay 4 nights but I refused as I wanted to go home.
I can't say I've had bad care in hospital. Although when I had DS in 2020 I was surprised they didn't show new mum's how to bath a newborn (they did in 2006 and 2008)
Had plenty of support from midwives for breastfeeding and aftercare from c section.
I'm really sorry that so many have had shitty experience but it's not bad for everyone.

MrsMomoa2 · 19/08/2023 18:45

Utterly devastated by this post and comments. I work in a busy maternity unit. (England) yes we can be short staffed, and yes a few rogue staff.. but on the whole.. most of us do our best for the mums and babies. Really demoralising to read some of these comments 😢

vibecheck · 19/08/2023 18:49

MrsMomoa2 · 19/08/2023 18:45

Utterly devastated by this post and comments. I work in a busy maternity unit. (England) yes we can be short staffed, and yes a few rogue staff.. but on the whole.. most of us do our best for the mums and babies. Really demoralising to read some of these comments 😢

Think about how it feels to be a pregnant woman reading them. I feel more sorry for them (including me!) than maternity staff. This is more than just “a few rogue staff”, this is a cultural problem.

Whiskyinajar · 19/08/2023 18:50

MrsMomoa2 · 19/08/2023 18:45

Utterly devastated by this post and comments. I work in a busy maternity unit. (England) yes we can be short staffed, and yes a few rogue staff.. but on the whole.. most of us do our best for the mums and babies. Really demoralising to read some of these comments 😢

Yep, you're working in impossible conditions bit don't forget "it's your job to watch the baby" while the OP takes a shit. Ignore the woman with heavy bleeding and the woman in pain, ignore the medication which has to be given and the 29 other women and babies. Know your place and watch the OP's baby. 🙄😡

Noicant · 19/08/2023 18:51

I don’t know anyone who’s had a good experience. A lot of it is being treated with callousness and unkindness and an unwillingness to call the doctors in. My obstetrician worked in the NHS and said to me she was routinely called when women and babies were already in severe distress, she should have been called sooner.

Whiskyinajar · 19/08/2023 18:53

Fuck, there are some ignorant people here.Go private if you want handmaids. Alternatively campaign for better staffing and stop voting Tory.

concernedmumhelp · 19/08/2023 19:02

Sorry, I haven't read the whole thread. But I remember going to the loo in the night (after a C section, might have been a day after?) and pushing the baby's wheeled cot with me. It was a fair distance, the loos were the other side of the ward and I was very weak and tired. It got to the point where, trying to return to my bed, I couldn't walk any more and I sort of collapsed onto a vacant mattress, and a lot of kerfuffle followed. My memories are a bit vague - it was 11 years ago and I was pretty out of it. I remember thinking at the time that maybe there might have been a better way of arranging things?

hdbs17 · 19/08/2023 19:08

I remember asking a midwife to watch my son as the laxatives had started to work after being pumped full of iron - she looked at me like I had 3 heads.

How silly of me to not realise it's completely normal to leave a day old baby alone on a ward!

Marchitectmummy · 19/08/2023 19:13

I've had 5 babies in 2 NHS hospitals and my treatment was great. I discharged myself on the same days as i gave birth for the last 2, as tbe births were quite straight forward and by the 4th child I think we all know what we are doing!

First 2 I was in hospital for a week with each, food was fine, midwifes friendly and helpful, toilets nice and clean. We needed medication that at first needed to be taken at 2am, the midwife woke me up for that and i had to walk pushibg baby to another room on another floor for that. But ir felt like a bit of an adventure.

The first time I wanted desperately to leave the ward but needed to stay but the nidwifes allowed me a trip to the cafe for a coffee with family and looked after my baby for an hour or so.

Husbands were buzzing around in the day but no issue with that. The 3rd I paid for a room which was peaceful.

I don't really have any negatives to say about the births and aftercare. Last baby was just before lockdown perhaps it's changed since.

mathanxiety · 19/08/2023 19:21

Tippley · 18/08/2023 08:43

Of course no one should shout, but in the age of defensive medicine 'sitting at the desk chatting' (rarely seen in the decade I've worked in hospitals but happens all the time on here) is invariably making copious notes as is required by policy.

Typing or longhand?

Hubblebubble · 19/08/2023 19:29

The cots at the maternity ward I was in were on wheels, so you could wheel the baby in its cot to the toilet or along the corridor if you wanted to stretch your legs.

mathanxiety · 19/08/2023 19:35

Taq · 18/08/2023 08:46

So when I’ve got 12 women and 12 babies to look after entirely by myself because there’s no staff, how does that work then?

Not hyperbole. Actual practicalities. 4 women are ringing the bell needing help with breastfeeding, 2 need pain relief and one wants me to watch the baby whilst she goes to the loo.

How? Not in terms of ‘flag it with management’ etc - HOW in that moment? Because that’s the reality.

Show quote history

That's shocking.

I gave birth in the US, three times with private health insurance and twice with Medicaid.

I had a private or semi private room with ensuite each time and a dedicated nurse for each delivery amd an entire shift post partum each time. I didn't ring for any of the nurses much, but they came when I did. I had four OB led deliveries and one midwife led. I used two different hospitals.

Midwifery in the US is a graduate nursing specialty - you get your undergrad BSc and RN licensing, then move on to midwifery training. Nursing care is done by nurses (RN).

PollyThePixie · 19/08/2023 19:38

red78hot · 18/08/2023 08:34

The obsession with pushing to breastfeed at every midwife appointment during pregnancy and then after birth no one was available to help, you're just left to figure it out for yourself whilst semi paralysed.
Oh and let's not forget the failed epidural, 2nd epidural, paralysed from the tits down, being asked to push as if "you're pushing out the biggest poo of your life "
Even though you literally can't find your own arsehole because you're PARALYSED by the epidurals and then your notes says "c section due to poor maternal effort!"
Set of twats.

When had my first child 45 years ago we stayed in hospital for a week and were taught how to breast feed and look after your baby. We were made to take naps and eat properly and there was as much emphasis on mum as their was on the baby.

21 months later I had my second child in a different part of the UK and we were encouraged to go home after 8 hours.

It was the start of women being seen as nothing. Absolutely nothing. You had your baby and if you weren’t in a rush to get out the door of the hospital 8 hours later you were letting the side down. You were lacking and needed to buck your ideas up.

In a way it was our own fault though because we accepted it and even encouraged it because we all wanted to be superwoman.

MrsMomoa2 · 19/08/2023 19:42

Umm .. calm down…
If someone needs medical help on our unit they get it..
Slightly confused by your response..

PollyThePixie · 19/08/2023 19:49

I’ve no idea why I quoted the reply from red78hot. 🙈

ChillysWaterBottle · 19/08/2023 19:51

My care was fucking atrocious

surreygirl1987 · 19/08/2023 19:55

I absolutely agree. Those nights I spent on the maternity ward after having my first child were the worst of my life. Absolute hell. I still can't believe the midwife who took the buzzer away from me and put it where I couldn't reach it, when I was buzzing for help breastfeeding my baby because he couldn't latch on and was screaming with hunger.

LazJaz · 19/08/2023 19:57

Hippyhippybake · 18/08/2023 08:37

NHS spending on maternity services is £3bn annually. NHS spending on maternity malpractice compensation is £8bn annually.

Where is this stat taken from?

Mumto1boyo · 19/08/2023 19:57

Agree. I had a traumatic birth and was absolutely shattered and wanted to sleep. 10 minutes later I have some nurse coming on rabbiting on about how to breastfeed. It just went in one ear and out the other. I wanted to tell everyone to leave me alone and come back tomorrow or something.

Miisty · 19/08/2023 20:00

Most midwives who train now go to Australia to work better work life balance and pay Pay is not very good for midwives considering the responsibility you have no decent pay rise for years I left 18 years ago after working in the community doing lots of home births .Decided the hospital expected you to work all day then one night worked all night and then expected to work all day Also done 100 miles of driving so said NO and management not happy .unsafe practice nobody would have supported me Often spent lots of time with clients at home Now they have to go to the hospital for a couple of checkups in 10days

Farfarfarfarfaraway · 19/08/2023 20:04

In 2021 I had a c section late on day 1 at about 4pm. I had my catheter out at very early morning (perhaps 4am?) breakfast at 7am. I hadn’t got out of bed, at all. Still having the feeling returning to my legs. I had a call to say breakfast was ready in the breakfast room (and it wouldn’t be brought to us) and I asked for a piece of toast to be brought to me (as I didn’t think I could walk there at all and Covid restrictions meant no visitors at that point) and I got looked at like I had two heads… luckily a kind student midwife took pity on me in the end. But that was just one of the many examples where my care was poor.

Whisperingangel1 · 19/08/2023 20:05

Had an incredible experience in Switzerland. I was diagnosed with a rare autoimmune disease in my 2nd trimester (which had been missed in the UK). Consequently spent rest of pregnancy under consultant led care. I had the mobile numbers for my consultant, haemotologist, gynaecologist, they were always available. I felt so supported, weekly check ups. Really positive elective c section. Went to hospital at 8am, had baby at 9am. 5 day min stay for c sec. Room shared with one other, lots of space, private bathroom and baby change. All baby things provided - petit bateau bodysuits, Nappies, wipes etc. Almost 1 to 1 midwife care - the kindest and most patient midwives. Took time to help me breast feed, let my baby sleep in bed next to me as I had a c sec, no issue with co sleeping whilst in hospital. Came round at 1am when baby was crying and spent an hour with me helping me wind baby/soothe him. Got moved to private room when baby went to neo natal for 3 nights so I could sleep. Post birth - 14 pelvic rehabilitation sessions, and 10 midwife visits for first 2 months, to add she was the kindest person, very gentle, supportive, helpful. I would never have a baby in the UK. I had a pregnancy there that I had to tmfr due to a condition which was not compatible with life, and I felt as thought my care was completely negligent and non existent, I felt traumatised afterwards.

Lollipop81 · 19/08/2023 20:06

A week before I had my baby my partner went to the doctors with mouth ulcers, he was prescribed strong pain killers and some gel to help. When I had my baby by c-section I was sent home 24 hours later and told to take paracetamol 😂😂 go figure

NoDought · 19/08/2023 20:11

I think it should be less an attack on the ‘nurses’ who are actually midwives if you would like to give them their correct title and should be more an attack on the government for making this an insufferable job and ridiculously understaffed. If they are too busy to help you have a poo they are likely prioritising the care of a sick mother or child.

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