To think British maternity care must be among the worst in the developed world?

[ForestGoblin]

Nurses refusing to watch newborns when a mum needs to poo??? Nurses have got a professional and legal obligation to support patients to receive adequate personal care (not being compelled to poo yourself has got to be rung one of meeting that obligation).

Friends who have given birth in Ireland, france, south Korea, Switzerland were all given support to sleep, recover, be recognised as an injured person in need of recovery time.

British nurses trick new mothers into thinking they can't leave their babies for a minute on a bloody hospital ward (even when they've got numb legs).

Rise up, damnit!

That happened to me twice. It was quite normal in the 80s. And to be honest, waving goodbye to DH and being wheeled into a quiet, calm ward for a good sleep was no hardship. We didn’t need anybody to give practical help other than the midwives/nurses, who were there for us. As I said, it’s dependent on good staffing levels.

That’s great.
I had an emergency c section after 2 days of labour due to the staff fucking up my induction. I was exhausted, everything including water and baby left out of my reach, and i couldn’t sleep because i had to spend hours trying to get out a tiny bit of colostrum by hand because my baby wouldn’t latch and no staff gave the slightest fuck that he wasn’t getting any food despite him being low weight for gestation.

And me. But the quality of maternity care then was gold standard compared with now. I was put to bed in a quiet, calm ward at 4am and my baby was taken to the nursery. The next thing I knew was when I was woken with a cup of tea at 6.30. It’s abundantly obvious that the way we were treated is ancient history. Nothing will ever convince me that allowing men on postnatal wards 24/7 is the solution.

We definitely had the best of it, Blossomtoes, and I wish young mums could have the same now. DD2 had her DH with her, yes, but in a chaotic ward with people coming and going, shouting down their phones, eating brought in curries and McDonald’s. It was awful, and there was no chance of anyone getting any rest.

Yes, we did have the best of it. The way women are treated now is a disgrace.

I was reading about post natal care a bit ago. With both my dc born 90’s and early 2000’s l had follow up visit from Gp and midwife for 10 days.

It seems they don’t do this anymore?

I didn't have a GP visit but did have midwife visits until day 10 with both DDs - DD2 was born last year. They weren't every day, maybe something like days 1, 2, 5, & 10. But they came out and did an extra one with DD1 (born 2019) because I was worried about my stitches so they came and checked.

Assault on intimate body parts is not nonsense. And every woman who experiences it is entitled to report it.

I have made a demand that this time, my DH, or another relative/friend is allowed to stay with me. Not just to ensure I receive practical help that I failed to get last time, but also because I don’t feel safe under the hospital’s care.

999 is not the recourse for this and you would not be taken remotely seriously.

To be fair there was someone a few years back that had to call 999 as they had been left in a bed with no food or water for a few days and ignored. That was taken seriously as they nearly died due to appalling ‘care’ . Also in the press today a woman who was assaulted by a midwife doing a sweep was found guilty and was sentenced.

Just want to say thank you so so much to the many absolutely fantastic midwives who may read this thread, you are amazing under such difficult and trying circumstances and most mums appreciate you and your excellent care!

I gave birth in December 2022 - the entirety of my follow up care has been a visit from midwife to sign me off after a week, visit to the go surgery for dd’s vaccinations and signing me off at 6 weeks, and one health Vistor appointment at 8 weeks. Nothing else. I was quite shocked, and worried for mums and babies struggling more than I have.

I think part of the reason is that most of us don't experience healthcare in our countries. Ours is dire, particularly when others post about their experiences in France, Germany and Switzerland (who seem to have a part-pay model that works well).

My only comparison is private healthcare in the UK (which also paid for my two births privately). It costs £250 a year (through a work scheme) and I've used it extensively. Long consultation times, quick test results, nice facilities, excellent inpatient nursing care. It's a world away from the NHS.

I think maternity care is probably some of the worst of the NHS services. Honestly my friends have had brutal experiences giving birth and patient safety isn't what it should be at times. It's not free and it's not good enough frankly. (No disrespect to the staff who I know work hard in trying conditions).

Same! Why would you expect anyone to hold your baby while you pop to the loo.

Try American health care......

A lot of mothers ask us to watch their baby while they nip to the toilet. I think they are scared of something happening to the baby. I don’t think it’s leaving them alone I think it’s leaving them alone in an unfamiliar environment that worries them which I can understand.

Blame the government they are the reason the staff are now so pissed off, tired and dire!

Well, this is the price of free healthcare. If you're comparing to to other 'developed' countries (and may I point out the crudeness and ignorance of this remark, as you'll find most of the best doctors in the West come from other parts of the world and don't gripe about pay and working conditions like they do here) than you'll have to factor in the fact that it costs to receive the care. By paying for healthcare (privately or via insurance), more is funnelled into the hospitals and they are thus able to better train and retain staff. It boggles my mind to no end how much people in the UK complain when things are given freely, but don't stop to consider why it is that way when it is given for free.

Free healthcare?! The NHS budget is running at over £160bn, paid for by taxpayers.

The NHS isn’t free, it’s paid for with £184 billion of our taxes.

Those statements aren't making sense to me because CA has the 2nd lowest maternity death rate of USA states. Infant death rate is also highest in the deep red states.

I’m compelled to pipe up for the poor midwives out there (me being one of them).
When people say they ‘know staffing is short but…’
They have no idea.
I agree that it would be nice to have someone watch your baby while you have a poo but sometimes it just isn’t possible.
Where I work it would be hit and miss if this were to happen depending on ‘activity’
And by that I mean if there is a more important issue at the time, like problems with a fetal heart rate, women being induced and in pain, women desperate to get home (coz their care has been so shit!), women needing feeding support (yes, it does get given and is, I’m afraid, a higher priority than pooing) to name a few.
We all HATE not being able to provide the care women are entitled to but sometimes, not all, it’s simply not possible.
It is not the midwives fault and we don’t deserve to be criticised.
We are doing the best we can.
Most women don’t tend to have their bowels open prior to discharge anyway (obviously some do though) and most have someone with them all the time.
It’s surely possible to go to the toilet while a family member is with the baby.
Or take the baby it to the toilet. And please don’t say that’s dirty because you will not poo in peace for many a year now.
It saddens me that myself and my colleagues work, more often than not with 1 or no opportunities to go to the toilet on a 12.5 hour shift and grazing on food whilst still working because we are unable to take an allocated break.
I remember one time, as an example, a lady being angry that she had to wait while a woman was rushed to theatre so her baby’s life could be saved.
I think a new perspective is needed and most definitely adequate funding!

Surely what would really help @Reallyunfair is more healthcare assistants? Most of the complaints women make about their postnatal care are stuff like not being able to lift the baby after a C section, not being able to get a drink, food or help to the shower. None of those things need a midwife, they just need someone to provide a bit of support.

Unless you’ve had a child in every other country in the world then yes, YABU. But it’s good to know that the tradition of British-bashing is alive snd thriving on mumsnet.