To think British maternity care must be among the worst in the developed world?

[ForestGoblin]

Nurses refusing to watch newborns when a mum needs to poo??? Nurses have got a professional and legal obligation to support patients to receive adequate personal care (not being compelled to poo yourself has got to be rung one of meeting that obligation).

Friends who have given birth in Ireland, france, south Korea, Switzerland were all given support to sleep, recover, be recognised as an injured person in need of recovery time.

British nurses trick new mothers into thinking they can't leave their babies for a minute on a bloody hospital ward (even when they've got numb legs).

Rise up, damnit!

Really do feel for you on the other end of it, those of you who are genuine and don’t treat women with cruelty.

I did complain about my care, the process took a year. Nothing changed, apart from post-birth briefings being done on postnatal ward afterwards. My consultant briefed me about what had happened while I was still in theatre being sewn up after my c section, not long after coming back from a BP of 75/25. I had no idea what she was talking about and had to complain to get some clarification. It seems a lot of women had the same experience.

I had my younger two at home because of how unpleasant my stay on a postnatal ward with my first was. It was like I'd been forgotten about, and for various reasons at the time I was quite vulnerable which they were aware of. Being at home was sheer bliss in comparison - it felt like I held all the cards instead of having to beg for any support.

The difference in community postnatal care between my eldest and youngest (just 6 years apart!) was also pretty noticeable. I had midwives and health visitors coming to my house regularly with my first, nothing by the 3rd, just had to go to the health centre a couple of times. Surely this is making it much harder to pick up cases of postnatal depression etc. and the lack of rapport is preventing mums from asking for help.

It's a pretty tragic state of affairs tbh.

So sorry to read about your experience 💐 it breaks my heart seeing it every day. I would totally avoid even bothering with hospital complaints, obviously can try but don’t expect anything back. I would urge everyone including staff and service users to write to their MP and ask what is being done about poor Maternity care. That’s what I’ll be doing. I’ve complained myself to my hospital about issues and the response I got was infuriating and really victim blaming. I hope more people speak up collectively maybe we can get our voices heard. I’m afraid only the government can fix this. I have a feeling it’s all in their plan to go private. NHS probably won’t last much longer.

I’m neither. But I do know what 999 is for and it’s not this nonsense.

Pretty sure that Norway is a member of the EEA which included all EU countries and also Iceland and Liechtenstein.

I was told in no uncertain terms not to leave my DD alone, even to go to the toilet. Even though she was tagged and the ward was secure. Imagine trying to get yourself some breakfast while recovering from a section 12 hours earlier, pushing a newborn baby around the breakfast room with some toast and a hot drink. I decided not to bother.

This is so sad to read, when I had my 3 children 30 years ago in the UK I had excellent care with 2 of them, My DD was born early and I was allowed to stay for 3 weeks to be with her, the nurses let me sleep in the staff overnight room with a double sofa bed so my DD could come in for a cuddle as I was suffering from post natal depression, one of the lovely nurses spent ages with me talking and soothing me whilst I cried. With my first child, my DS, I was shown how to breast feed and then they helped support with bottles so I could rest as my milk hadn't come in and he had low blood sugar, I stayed in 4 nights. The only one not so good was my middle DC, I had him at 1am and was discharged at 10am same day, he was a 10 pound baby, I had had forceps and lost a lot of blood, when they sent me home I lost an enormous blood clot while walking to the bathroom, and had to call out my doctor as thought it was the placenta (it wasnt) The hospital I had them in has now closed and is instead a sexual health clinic/eye clinic and outpatients, no maternity section or in patients.

I'm pregnant with my second and dreading giving birth due to experiences last time.

I was left alone most of the time.

Nothing explained to me (one example being that I couldn't wee afterwards and so was catheterised and was told if I couldn't wee after 24 hours I'd have it left in for a week and would be referred to urologogy. I was never told it's really common due to swelling down there and there was a 99% chance it would be fine the next day - which it was. I was so worried).

There were no pillows.

The lamp above my bed was broken so I had to do everything overnight in the dark including nappy changes.

They had no stands available for my catheter bag so it was left on the bed and leaked anywhere.

There was no soap in the toilets.

I caught norovirus there, meaning I had no early aftercare as no one would visit me due to being contagious.

I had PPD and the midwife who saw me a few weeks after birth flagged it and said she'd be back in 2 weeks to check on me (much sooner than should have been scheduled) but went off sick and there was no one to replace her so I was just left... Then lockdown started and haven't seen a HV since.

What a horrendous experience you had. How can we be proud of such a service. Time to go back to basic standards of nursing care. Patient centred. Not spending hours at a computer typing up stuff while patients are in distress.

Patients also shouldn't be left without food, water, medication or the ability to go to the toilet... if the midwives won't help with such things then who will?

@MillWood85 i hope she’s inherited someone’s else’s empathy or she’s going to be another shit midwife who thinks it’s not part of her job to provide food or medicine for patients. She’s probably going to fit right in. I’m open mouthed you read this thread and thought your response was appropriate.

The large, chaotic wards where I had my youngest 2 really didn't like safe places to leave a baby unattended to be honest.

Patients, partners, in laws constantly asking us for updates on everything from discharge, medication, pain, breastfeeding, food, parking, visiting times, why their family can’t have food drinks and their own beds…

Oh dear, I can imagine this and really sympathise. I know many would disagree, but I think the wards were so much better all round when visitors were strictly regulated to an hour or two a day. On top of this, I think there was generally more respect for medical staff back then, and they wouldn’t be hassled all the time.

One of my DDs discharged herself quickly before feeding was established - I was worried, but she was much better off at home than in the noisy, smelly, crowded ward she was trapped in, with dodgy looking characters wandering up and down. I certainly wouldn’t have let my baby out of my sight in there, and surely infection control’s an issue? There absolutely has to be plenty of staff to care for patients though. The arguments for allowing partners in 24/7 wouldn’t hold up then.

Midwives on here need to take a look at their profession, staffing levels have loads to do with midwives laughing at you as you hobble to the bathroom and rolling their eyes.

Just seen Lucy Letby has been found guilty. Another NHS hero that coincidentally went to work with mothers and babies.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12420645/Midwife-convicted-assaulting-pregnant-woman.html#comments-12420645

its an incredibly vulnerable and emotional - not to mention physically painful
experience to deliver by c-section. Especially if you have been in labour for days beforehand as many of us have. Sobbing because you are unable to eat when you need sustenance to keep a new
baby alive seems reasonable.

I was put on a 24-hour fast following the birth of my twins - I came off the fast at 8pm and called to the staff that my fast had finished could I have something to eat - I was told the kitchen was closed and there would be nothing to the morning, eventually after a lot of moaning on my part they went to the vending machine and got me a packet of salted crisps. What kind of care is that for someone who had two abdominal surgeries, a 9-pint blood transfusion and has two babies to feed. Barbaric.

Yeah, i have had sections sharing a room with 4/6 women, no offense but i dont know these people and whats stopping someone hurting someone elses baby? I have gone to cafeteria 5 in the morning and plead with nurses to keep eye on my baby while i get something to eat (cant eat hospital food due to allergies) and showered 5 in the morning too. There has been usually 5ish t the main desk rolling eyes when you ask for help

in my homeland women get a private family room for 5+ days

There would still as a bare minimum, need to be a review of when partners are allowed in. It is not fair that women who give birth at night are then being sent to postnatal wards by themselves and the baby’s father is not allowed to spend time with them or give some practical help.

Have you had a baby? Do you know what it feels like? I'm not convinced you do - a new mum's emotions are all over the place - ever heard of baby blues? I feel sorry for you @notahappybunny7 you seem to lack a touch of humanity. Suggesting that a woman who has just given birth and is hungry is being a bit pathetic, is a bit emotionless.

Don't care if they have time or not. They have a responsibility to do it. "Sorry I didn't clean your wound and now you've died of gangrene but we're so understaffed" wouldn't fly elsewhere, would it.

Unfortunately it does fly elsewhere. I have an open wound which needed dressing every 2-3 days by GP practice nurses, but then there were no appointments for over a week and it became infected. I ended up being admitted to hospital. When discharged I was told to go back to seeing practice nurses regularly, but once again they couldn't offer an appointment until over a week after discharge.

I do agree however re poor maternity care. My mum describes having your baby looked after for you by the nurses, which is hard to even imagine now.

The US stats include migrant women who cross the border, most of whom have made an arduous journey while receiving no prenatal care at all. The US took in 2.26 million migrants in 2022 alone, so you get an idea of the scale of the problem. Public hospitals in border areas and urban areas are overrun, with predictable results. Women who give birth in the desert are also included in the stats.

Maternity care in the US is excellent, but when a country is generous enough to open its border to millions of impoverished female newcomers, most of child-bearing age, that country's stats will always look bad.

What I said is true.

@Snoresforsmores Absolutely, my god the hunger after a protracted labour.

This is why I have one child.

Horrendous experience. I had a 3rd degree year and given epidural so they could fix me up, in the meantime DS was taken to Neonatal care. I was wheeled back up to my bed and no one came to tell me where my child was. To add to this, I'd had nothing to drink since giving birth. So I spend 12 hours ringing a bell begging a nurse who couldn't speak English for two basic things..

1. To know where my baby was
2. For water

She would tut and shout at me for pressing the bell.

I couldn't move my legs. And I have never in my life felt so powerless. I passed out in the end until another nurse shook me awake and asked where ds vests were. She was annoyed because she couldn't find them. It was only when I begged her to pass me water and screamed where is my baby that I think she gathered what had happened.