Sorry, ANOTHER babies at weddings thread, but I would like your views on this - AIBU?

[champagnesupernova]

I have a q good friend (ex-colleague, she was my boss but we've kept in touch) who's a good deal older than me, been big on career and so never got round to having kids.

Having been with her man for over ten years he finally gets round to popping the question and setting the date.

She tells me this the day I've arranged to meet her to tell her I'm pg with number 1. Big all round

Turns out the date of the wedding is 3-4 weeks after my baby's due.

As I said we're q good friends, so imagine my delight when a save the date card comes.

And then the invitation arrives addressed to Mr and Mrs Supernova (no mention of the bump, but it's not born yet)

I reply very early and in the reply card I put "Mr and Mrs Supernova and infant" and add a note saying I know planning a wedding is v complicated, just want to say that as it's so early and I"m planning on b/fing I'll have the baby with me, but I've heard they sleep for ages so hopefully it won't be a problem Wanted to check you're okay with this.

Met up with her today and said are you okay with this.

She's not and basically doesn't want us to come as she's worried about saying no to other people with babies and not us and annoying the other guests (most of whose kids will be grownup)

I am really really really by this.

She invited us. Knowing we were going to have a brand new baby. She could have just not invited us and said they were having probs with numbers and I wouldn't have been any the wiser. Now I feel that I've misread the invitation and that I've been UNINVITED.

AIBU?

Look the bride to be probably didn't know that very young babies need fed all the time and its a tremendous sacrifice for tired new parents to come out.

I didn't when I got married, friend asked if she could bring baby due to age and I said yes. But I honestly didn't know that they couldn't have come if I had said no to the baby.

Oh and also childless people don't know that newborns don't sleep, they probably assume that not being at work all day makes up for it, again I thought that before DS, so the bride to be doesn't know that the couple are going to be knackered before they arrive.

???? I was talking about at the church. You don't generally get allocated seats for the church bit.

miniature toad-in-the-hole, Madam? Sir?

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It is actually, perfectly possible to leave a 2 week old baby with someone else for a few hours. I left DS with my mum when he was a fortnight old to spend an evening with friends. OK I wasn't BF-ing and felt well enough to go (and actually wanted an evening of being 'me' and not 'mum) - appreciate not everyone feels this way but it can be done.

But if you are BFing then it is an impossibility.

beef in a wellington, madame?

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she says she's intending to bf Chequers

OBM, you make me laugh and laugh. Just wanted to acknowledge your wit on this thread.

And say again, "You have a massively good excuse to get out of this. Use it."

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???? I was talking about at the church. You don't generally get allocated seats for the church bit.

HA HA no need for sarcasm! is this just turning into bitching war now or the real issue!

Why imposible if breastfeeding? what about expressing?

Any issue is she dont want them there!

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Chequers
dont go, i need back up!

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Bekkaboo, would you like to explain the logistics of expressing for a baby of this age, getting this baby to take a bottle, the possible impact of skipping several feeds on the mother and then explain why anybody would go through all that when recently postnatal for somebody who doesn't seem to give a shite about them?

Yeah true, im off now too leave you guys to bicker the rest! Ive got wine and DH waiting!

bekkaboo - wasn't being sarcastic. Someone said it would cause a disturbance getting up and going out, and I simply said it wouldn't if you sat by the door (meaning in the church) and you said the seating plan would need to be rearranged.

Also, it's not advised to express that early in order to leave the baby. And at that point b/feeding might not be established, so you wouldn't want to risk nipple confusion by giving a bottle. And you also wouldn't want to not feed for several hours if b/feeding wasn't properly established as it could impact on milk production. And you might leak.

thats why said not to bother going to the bloody wedding!

Actually Hunker has just said it all.

You don't get allocated seats for the church bitm, so you say "Is it OK if I sit at the back, I might need to take the baby out" - and whoever is sitting there (if there is anyone there at all - usually the front is where people want to be) says, "Oh, OK, understand totally", pulls an "aww, cute" face at the weeny baby and budges somewhere else. No?

i wish you were here earlier hunker when I was called a guestzilla for suggesting that.

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