He makes noise constantly

[Minimeltdown]

My husband won’t fucking shut up.

He’s either clearing his throat, doing this awful, gross hiccup/belch thing like an inward burp accompanied by a frog sound, coughing loudly, performance-sneezing to the point that it makes my ears ring, sniffing or stomping around. We have wooden floors upstairs and he makes the ceiling light shake with his clanging footsteps.

I don’t know if it’s always this bad, or if I’m just tetchy at the moment.

WIBU to tell him how much NOISE he makes constantly and that he needs to stop?

Or is it just involuntary and I need to cope with it?

(So as not to drip feed, I struggle with eating sounds in general/possible misphonia, but his eating doesn’t bother me that much)

I don’t think it’s involuntary, seems to be a thing with men more than women. He sounds like an attention seeker tbh, I was on honeymoon and there was a guy just like this, was trying to relax around the pool in the Maldives, so was very peaceful and quiet. All I could hear was a guy very loudly hacking up phlegm, clearing his nose, coughing, burping etc it’s disgusting. There were loads of empty sunbeds around him so think he was annoying everyone else there as well. I don’t know how you live with this tbh!

Is this new? It sounds deeply unattractive.

It could be a combination of the two. When my husband's pissing me off I feel like every sound he makes is multiplied. Having said that, as he's moved into his 40s he makes more sounds than ever before- I pointed out yesterday that he seems to grunt as he breathes these days?! You should be able to raise with him that this is bothering you but, tbh, I don't know what he can do to stop it really (my mum just laughed and told me it gets worse when they hit 60 😖)

Oh! I Know. The constant throat clearing and snorting drives me bats too. That was until I got similarly afflicted, so now I know how irritating it can be. But at least I try and do it quietly - except for sneezing which is repetitive and makes windows rattle - so I get my own back!

I know what you mean. It’s the sheer lack of consideration that winds me up. It doesn’t even occur to them that they should take others into account. It’s very entitled. I also could wonder around scratching, farting, burping and grunting, but I don’t.

Some of it sounds purposeful like the stomping around but others like frequent throat clearing and snorting sounds like
common tics.

Jesus. Now he’s drinking tea with a lip smack and a ‘ahhh’ sigh after each sip.

I am properly pissy today.

This finished me off. I would be fucking murderous.

No not unreasonable. I said on another thread, men making these noises is just another form of man-spreading. It’s generally men who are making ridiculous noises with little reason and women are then told they have misphonia. I never had huge issues with noise but over the years with my ex I got driven to despair. The slurping, lip smacking, slow crunching of every bite, licking fingers clean with a ‘pop’, throat clearing, loud sneezing, dry nose blowing… I couldn’t live with it ever again. Since my kids have been going to his after we split my eldest has developed a habit of unnecessary throat clearing/hacking as well 😑.

My sisters DH, who has just turned 50, is awful for this. I can't sit next to, or opposite him at the dinner table because he makes these disgusting wet sounds as he chews. He also hasn't mastered the art of consistently chewing with his mouth closed.
And then when we're just sitting around relaxing, he makes these constant "mmmm!" sounds under his breath. It really grinds my gears!

Oh and don’t get me started on having a few germs. Weeks of desperately grabbing for a hanky, whole body being thrown forward for a full performance of the worlds most forced cough..

Like a donkey chewing with a broken jaw isn’t it. When my ex was trying to encourage our fussy toddler to eat he’d shove his own dinner in his mouth and make this ‘hom-nom-nom’ noise, a bit like that bowl scene from Beauty and the Beast. I’m shocked either me or the child could face eating again.

God, I’m glad it’s not just me. Driving me crazy!

@Keyworks please, PLEASE let’s swap for a day. 🤣

Ears plugs
If that doesn't work, garden and shovel

I was married to a performative sneezer. The loudest achoo ever.
He's also make this whistling noise, not quite a full whistle but more like a strange warbling bird sound. When I first started hearing it, I"d ask if he heard that sound and he'd deny it.

Well it could be worse. My partner is like a ninja and scares the shit out of me as he just appears! We don't live together thankfully.

I would probably get the ick or divorce a mouth breather/chomper/loud performance sneezer...and many other types

No, that’s deliberate. I think with some men making constant noise is a sort of control thing?

As in ‘I’m going to annoy the hell out of you and make you snap, then you will look like a bad person’.

Mind games.

DH is nearly 60 and has suffered from tinnitus for years - he's now losing his hearing but he won't have a bar of it. As a result, he can't hear how much noise he makes.

I have got pots of silicone earplugs everywhere. Otherwise I'd be in prison.

I appreciate that I've got sensitive hearing, but the banging and crashing drives me mad. As for the throat clearing and sneezing.... I actually called him a word that I never use the other night as I jumped out my skin. AHHHHHHHHHHHHCHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Has he got untreated allergies?

I had pneumonia a few years ago and have some lung damage and sometimes in very cold weather I get fluid on my chest and feel like I have a lot of phlegm.

I thought about what I could do and hit on the idea of taking cough medicine even though I don't have a cough.

Benylin mucus cough.

One or two tea spoons a day either in the morning or at night and it dries up the fluid.

I also have hayfever and even with antihistamine still have a stuffy nose. A few sniffs of an Olbas oil inhaler stick and my breathing is clear.

Do you think he might have something like that?

OMG, the inward HiccBurp thing gives me the RAGE!!! My DH does it too. And his dad. Even reading this has re-given me the rage.

Mine does an initial slurp then an aah when tea drinking - but never with coffee. Nose blowing is horrific. He knows he’s in massive trouble if he walks out of the home office into where I’m working and does it. I’ve made him have tissues in there and get it done behind a closed door.

Best ignored if you can.

Either it is attention-seeking, in which case he is likely to do it all the more if you point it out.

Or is is unconscious habit and pointing it out will make him self-conscious and likely to do it all the more, as a sort of nervous tic.

Looks as though you can't win!

I am proud to announce that on a recent holiday when a random man on a nearby sunbed started up with the hacking up inward burp cough thing I shot him my best evil death stare and shouted, "Ew! Gross!"

He looked deeply shocked.