He makes noise constantly

[Minimeltdown]

My husband won’t fucking shut up.

He’s either clearing his throat, doing this awful, gross hiccup/belch thing like an inward burp accompanied by a frog sound, coughing loudly, performance-sneezing to the point that it makes my ears ring, sniffing or stomping around. We have wooden floors upstairs and he makes the ceiling light shake with his clanging footsteps.

I don’t know if it’s always this bad, or if I’m just tetchy at the moment.

WIBU to tell him how much NOISE he makes constantly and that he needs to stop?

Or is it just involuntary and I need to cope with it?

(So as not to drip feed, I struggle with eating sounds in general/possible misphonia, but his eating doesn’t bother me that much)

Oh god, I'm the same. It's positively Dickensian, these gastric fellows with their innards goinking and rasping and very often making a meal of it. I need the telly or radio on to tune it out.

I know right? Completely and utterly pushed over the edge. There's no way back from this, get him in the fucking bin.

Mine hums or whistles and it is starting to drive me insane. Even when eating he is fucking humming as he goes. Makes me murderous. If he comes to my house and I'm finishing off some work he sits humming or whistling which totally distracts me from what I'm trying to do... it's honestly lucky that he works from home as his colleagues would be stuck listening to that all day!!

I feel murderous rage when my DP eats yoghurt or cereal. He constantly smacks his lips and makes these awful wet sucking noises and with the yoghurt he spends an absolute age scraping the spoon up and down the side of the pot with his stupid tiny teaspoon. With the cereal he keeps clinking the spoon against the bowl over and over and over again whilst slurping up his milk and smacking his lips. I have to leave the room.

He also breathes ridiculously loudly.

My DH would make a tuneless humming noise just before he asked me to add one of his tasks to my already long list . E.G I come in from a long day as a carer to be given a pile of junk mail to "check through" (his) or forms to fill in ( his) when he had been home alone all day . One day ,coming home to 3 hungry kids and a sick parent ,this happened again . Humming,junk mail .I set up a tuneless humming of my own and threw the pile of mail in the fire .

Gaviscon and hay-fever tablets are your friends right now. If neither work...
you have ...........the ick!

“Can you hear yourself? You sound absolutely disgusting. Shut the fuck up.”

That oughta do it.

Yep we've had the ridiculously loud performative sneeze added to the repertoire since hitting 50 too. Actually hurts my ears and he never did it when I met him.

You have my sympathies op. We have the throat clearing, sneezing, chuntery mindless singing and humming, banging about the house (the frantic drama when he's trying to leave is something to behold) and telling me everything about work in mind numbing ranty detail. As he gets noisier I get quieter as it's driving me into meltdown. He's very "extra" as our DD says about him. Everything a drama, can't just crack on quietly and unobtrusively

Yes the complete overreaction to maybe dropping a spoon! Huffing, puffing, groaning, and vocalisation of every thought in his head. Which if I don't acknowledge just gets rantier and rantier. It is a middle aged man thing, it's unbearable and he wasn't like this when we got together. I can't stand deliberately loud, overly dramatic people.

In don't want to dampen his natural personality but I've asked him to please try to tone it down a bit when we're both WFH especially the singing. It's unbearable. He has a running playlist that he carries on listening too once he's home and he chunters along to it. He's had that same playlist for 3 years. He also constantly asks "are you there?" Whilst I'm just trying to quietly get on with something.

My husband talks constantly or makes up songs about stupid random things. I now just ask him to stop. It's irritating and overwhelming for me to have constant noise when he's in the house! Tell him to stop and point it out every single time

DH tea slurping bad but crockery scraping on a glaze removing level. MIL replaying videos from her phone thought there was a fault, noooooo it's her non stop stream fake laugh/ witch cackle, (too) brief self realization moment 😬

@idebtiy that would give gastro type symptoms wouldn't it?

I'd be concerned he had asthma or something rather than slate him on here!

My mum complains that me and my late father are /were ninjas and she can't hear us enter the room, never mind the house.

meanwhile, the sound of my own breathing annoys me when I'm trying to sleep 😂I did have to learn to sneeze quietly (hayfever). But why are people constantly clearing their throat, is it smoking related?

my sister will do the "aaaah" after a sip of tea as a comedy bit, but not often.

🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣

My DS sent me a clip of a lad who has stayed awake all night and is startled by hearing his Dad clean his teeth for work, DH is a noisy teeth cleaner, nothing else fortunately.

I find when habits annoy more than usual it’s because you don’t like the person so much at the time.

I'd be getting a divorce new patio.

Because I can't bear to watch my husband
eat toast,
eat fork-only food with a knife and fork scrap scrape scrape explode at a nothing-event
Mumble negatively in the shower
Wiggle his feet all the effing time when watching tv
Breathe in my ear in bed

....I have some great DH avoidance strategies which take tremendous planning to look natural

Mine is the same. And now I've read this I'm going to notice it even more. Thank you for that.😅

"my sister will do the "aaaah" after a sip of tea as a comedy bit, but not often."

Aye, my dad will do it occasionally for comedy purposes, but only once . My mum would give him the death glare if he tried it more than that. He does cough and clear his throat a lot, but he's 82 with CPF, so he can't help that.

DH will utter a stream of curses and expletives if he so much as drops a teaspoon, as sure as if he'd actually dropped a casserole of stew, smash all over the kitchen floor. Bloody drama queen. 🙄

The men who make these sort of attention seeking noises are probably the same ones who sit behind you on the bus and keep kicking the back of your seat.

We also have wooden floors and my DD (18) is the loudest walker in the house, she must put her full weight down with every step. Every door she closes is slammed, not out of temper, she just does it automatically. No throaty noises, thank goodness. 😂

A work colleague does the throat clearing/coughing though. Thank goodness she’s in an adjoining office, I’d be feeling murderous if she was in the same room!