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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

He makes noise constantly

110 replies

Minimeltdown · 17/08/2023 10:56

My husband won’t fucking shut up.

He’s either clearing his throat, doing this awful, gross hiccup/belch thing like an inward burp accompanied by a frog sound, coughing loudly, performance-sneezing to the point that it makes my ears ring, sniffing or stomping around. We have wooden floors upstairs and he makes the ceiling light shake with his clanging footsteps.

I don’t know if it’s always this bad, or if I’m just tetchy at the moment.

WIBU to tell him how much NOISE he makes constantly and that he needs to stop?

Or is it just involuntary and I need to cope with it?

(So as not to drip feed, I struggle with eating sounds in general/possible misphonia, but his eating doesn’t bother me that much)

OP posts:
YouJustDoYou · 18/08/2023 13:52

PickUpTheDogAndBone · 17/08/2023 12:53

OMG, the inward HiccBurp thing gives me the RAGE!!! My DH does it too. And his dad. Even reading this has re-given me the rage.

My dh burbs in his closed mouth then blows out the burp into the air. Usually right next to me. Fucking does my head in.

spitefulandbadgrammar · 18/08/2023 13:54

NotSorry · 18/08/2023 13:39

Mine does sleep noises while we’re watching something. So I say “are watching this or are you asleep?”. “I’m awake” he insists. THEN STOP MAKING BLOODY SLEEP NOISES!!

He does the kitchen thing too. Wherever I am in the kitchen preparing dinner, he’ll stand about 6 inches away, watching me. I look at him and say “social distancing is still in force in this house”. Next day, it all starts again 😭 he’s 67, I’ve no chance, have I?

Mine does mouth noises, like he’s doing tongue exercises or something. I’ve been known to bellow “MOUTH NOISES!” at him.

He’s also got some sort of radar for where I am in the house, quietly minding my own business: he’ll open the door, look around and go “Ah, was just checking the weather (as if no other rooms have windows)/forgotten/having a wander/wondering where you are”. Right, do you need something from me? No, just checking. Gah!

Minimeltdown · 18/08/2023 14:05

Your stories are making me feel so much better everyone. ‘Mouth noises!’ made me laugh out loud.

As others have said, I think it’s the constant presence that is getting to me. He works from home and has been out without me only twice since lockdown, so he’s ALWAYS in the house. I’m a TA so have the summer off, but usually I’m out and about each day, but have a back injury so I’m not as mobile. That lack of downtime from him must be getting to me!

OP posts:
CreationNat1on · 18/08/2023 14:24

Hilarious thread, I m so glad to be single.

PleaseGiveMeBackMySummer · 18/08/2023 15:06

Courgeon · 18/08/2023 08:15

Are we married to the same person?. I've had to be really explicit about cooking time being spent ALONE. However my H after years of long commutes and working away now works full time from home and so it means his heavy, intrusive, attention seeking presence is always there. As a result of lockdown the WFH hasn't been reversed and it's been extremely tough on the whole family, both kids and me have become pretty quiet and withdrawn to counterbalance his constant noise.

Sorry @Courgeon I popped the wrong emoji on my post to you from earlier - I put Flowers and 😆 It SHOULD have been Flowers and Sad

Because you and your kids having to curtail your personalities (and becoming withdrawn and quiet,) because of an overbearing 'all about ME' husband stuck at home all day (working from home) is f*cking shit! At least mine is away from home 28 hours a week - longer with commute time. Probably 32-33 hours.

PleaseGiveMeBackMySummer · 18/08/2023 15:08

YachtMistress · 18/08/2023 13:11

Has anyone mentioned the following round after you in shops 😪like they're attached on a wee bit of elastic? Hard to suppress public outburst of rage 😱

DH doesn't really do that - especially as I tend to go without him 80% of the time! But he does follow me around like a toddler at home some days!!!

Willow12345 · 18/08/2023 15:15

So pleased I've found this thread! My DH is the loudest person I know. He can't get off the sofa without moaning and groaning and also is incapable of whispering when kids are asleep. And he always does a double sneeze which sounds like a pneumatic drill. It actually hurts my eardrums. When he's away, my life is so peaceful ..

PleaseGiveMeBackMySummer · 18/08/2023 19:22

@CreationNat1on

Hilarious thread, I am so glad to be single.

🙄

There's always one! Hmm Imagine if someone posted a thread saying how fed up they are being single, and how they crave company, and someone to talk to, and how they're struggling financially, and wish they'd got someone to share life's trials and tribulations and burdens with... And someone came on to the thread, and said 'Hilarious thread! I'm SO glad I'm married!' Confused

They'd have their arse handed to them on a plate.

Reminds me of a woman (in her mid 40s,) who I met the other week when I went swimming (in my local market town swimming pool.) Introduced herself as 'Lynne,' rattled on about her vile ex husband, and how the break up 10 years ago was not her fault, and went on and ON about how she is so much happier single. 'I don't have to get permission to watch what I want on TV, I don't have to ask permission to go out, I don't have anyone keeping me awake snoring, I don't have to put up with any shit from any MAAAAAAN!'

She carried on - telling me she would never change being single, and she pities anyone married. Bound by the tethers of wedlock, slave to a man, domestic mug etc etc.' (with a tinkly laugh...)

The more she went on about how deliriously happy she is being single, the less I believed her. Conversely, I never ONCE said that I am sooooo happy being married, and you can shove being single up your arse, and what a shit life it is being alone.'

RantyAnty · 18/08/2023 19:27

CreationNat1on · 18/08/2023 14:24

Hilarious thread, I m so glad to be single.

Agree!
Marriage gave me nothing but grief and trauma.

CreativeC4 · 17/09/2025 11:05

Minimeltdown · 17/08/2023 10:56

My husband won’t fucking shut up.

He’s either clearing his throat, doing this awful, gross hiccup/belch thing like an inward burp accompanied by a frog sound, coughing loudly, performance-sneezing to the point that it makes my ears ring, sniffing or stomping around. We have wooden floors upstairs and he makes the ceiling light shake with his clanging footsteps.

I don’t know if it’s always this bad, or if I’m just tetchy at the moment.

WIBU to tell him how much NOISE he makes constantly and that he needs to stop?

Or is it just involuntary and I need to cope with it?

(So as not to drip feed, I struggle with eating sounds in general/possible misphonia, but his eating doesn’t bother me that much)

My partner grunts, clears his throat, sniffs, sneezes and belches constantly.
it’s so bad I avoid sitting in the same room with him. I go to bed early, get up stupidly early, go and do things when he does get up, go out walking a lot and when i’ve really had enough and tell him that it’s ‘worse than being in a zoo’, he laughs. Thinks it’s funny.
But,
he never makes these noises when we’re out, or when there’s company, so I know it’s not absolutely necessary. He says it’s the blood pressure tablets he takes.
I want to move out, should I?

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