AIBU about DD's gym knicker "shorts"?

[RiderGirl]

DD is just turned 13 and has taken to wearing "shorts" that I can only describe as looking like 1980's gym knickers in length, the literally sit in the crease of her buttocks. AIBU in saying that she isn't allowed to step outside the house wearing them? We keep falling out about it but I think they're wildly inappropriate!! To make it worse she wears them with a large t shirt and it just looks like she's in a t shirt and pants 🙈

No OP, I would not (and will not) allow my DD to go outside dressed like a prostitute

She's 13 ffs!

🙄

@huggiess

I'm not convinced anyone should have to see a stranger in a thong bikini (or trunks for that matter!) it's simply unnecessary in public even on the beach. I'm not suggesting a return to Victorian swimwear, just briefs that cover your backside!

She didn’t go out on a lovely sunny day? Thats sad. I’d rather my daughter wear the shorts (that are everywhere anyway) than sit inside miserable on a sunny day. I imagine all that will happen next time is she’ll get changed at a friends house.

She had other clothes she could wear. Teenagers need boundaries and need to push against those boundaries, but they also need parents who will hold those boundaries when pushed. It’s an important stage developmentally and helps them understand the need for boundaries of their own, how to set and maintain them. They aren’t mini adults, with the capacity for full autonomy over all their choices, that comes but not at 13.

DD is 13 and has a lot of the Nike Pro type shorts for rowing etc, which do get worn every now and then for other activities. My line tends to be that if they are being worn out and about then they needs a baggy t shirt to balance out the effect, otherwise they are sports or beach wear.

To be fair, if I was 13 and looked like my daughter I would probably wear them too.

I think they are fine, I have seen a lot worse

I agree they are awful and not just on those of the OPs DD age. I'd need several pages though to describe other awful clothing in the UK. I view our high street clothing retailing as a disgrace.

To be fair, if I was 13 and looked like my daughter I would probably wear them too.

Me too 😂 If I had my daughter's figure and could wear tho type of shorts, I'd definitely do it too 😆

As it is, the world is better off without seeing me in shorts of any type 🤦‍♀️

@lovewoola you're not. I always had to be dressed "appropriately" in public. Skirts at least knee length, no crop tops, nothing low cut, no tight tops etc. No trousers on Sundays, had to be a skirt for church. No jeans for visiting people or going to "smart" places. It sounds Victorian now but I went to a fairly strict and traditional catholic school and I was not the only one whose parents were quite restrictive about dress. I only have boys so it's not the same but I remember looking at DS in his sliders and sports socks last year and thinking what do you look like 🤣

It's fashiok but I hate that it's fashion

No way to anything that highlights camel toe. Don't care about what others would allow. I don't want to have to look at the outline of other genitals and other people shouldn't have to either .
If there was a equivalent style for men then people would be outraged.

On a family holiday last year, at a family hotel, it was bare ass everywhere ! I felt over dressed in my standard bikini 😆

My DSis (15) wears the Nike pro ones, she is 15, naturally tanned, long slim legs and long blonde hair. You can imagine the looks she gets off of disgusting men who leer at young girls.

I took her to have a manicure with me as her birthday treat and we walked through our local town and I actually turned around and said "she's 15" to a man who basically dribbled on the floor whilst grinning at her and gave him the most vile look, he must have been early 50's and her face is quite young, you can definitely tell she's under 18.

My Dad doesn't particularly like her wearing them but said to me that he doesn't want to stop her wearing what the "fashion" is and what all of her friends are wearing because of dirty men because he doesn't want her to feel it's her fault that some men can't control their eyes/themselves. If we are going to a restaurant etc he does tell all of the younger ones "please put on something appropriate for dinner".

Earlier today i saw three tween girls in the street wearing bikini tops and short-short shorts. One of them had rolled down the waistband to show even more midriff. It was basically less coverage than most swimwear. The youngest was definitely primary school aged, the other two not very much older, certainly no older than 12/13. It’s quite disturbing really that children of that age are doing it.

I can't see how anyone thinks Nike pros are appropriate to wear on the street. They are like underwear.

You also have to take accountability here.

The older man dribbled,

But you let your child outside wearing highly specialised clothes.

It is stupid to say girls can wear whatever they want. If a man sees outline of vulva along with ass cheeks, he is going to get physically aroused. It's biology.

So letting a child wear that is concerning.

That should have said "highly sexualised clothes"

What world do you live in where teens buy "sensible clothes"?

I don't like the shorts, but really can't see the issue. The only difference between them and leggings is that you can see actual legs.

It's like 'celebrities ' on red carpets and such. The women in short or see through outfits with everything on display. The men don't feel the need to do this. You never see the likes of Brad Pitt sashaying down the red carpet in budgie smugglers or a mankini!

They just look a bit unhygienic tbh. i don't see how anything can be worn so tight and close to the skin in that area and not end up manky and sweaty. Especially the cheap ones from Primark etc.

I see the issue with the shorts as you can see bum cheeks. They are not appropriate and they are not safe for young girls. I recently worked in a summer camp where a lot of the young female employees were wearing these shorts.

In the staff common room every one of the older male teachers made sexual comments about the shorts. Or they said that the shorts were very distracting.

On the one hand the older men were completely in the wrong to mention it. They first of all, as older men should know better. And I was very annoyed at what they said about the young women. I want to point out, how it these shorts can potentially draw very bad sexual attention from older men. The shorts are not safe or appropriate

On the other hand, the men were all dressed appropriately, and the girls (all ages over 18) were making the place a highly sexualised environment . People were being professional. Then a young woman would walk into the staff common room in hotpants, showing camel toe and ass cheeks. So I think the women should have some accountability about what is appropriate to wear.

Also companies should have accountability about enforcing a responsible dress code.

My favourite flavour of feminism is the one that says it's empowering for teenage girls to wear knickers in public...

🙄

If you really want her to stop, tell her you love them and wear the same thing... she'll be mortified

Good idea that.

I bet a man designed them.

Women's fashion are designed by men for male thrills