AIBU about DD's gym knicker "shorts"?

[RiderGirl]

DD is just turned 13 and has taken to wearing "shorts" that I can only describe as looking like 1980's gym knickers in length, the literally sit in the crease of her buttocks. AIBU in saying that she isn't allowed to step outside the house wearing them? We keep falling out about it but I think they're wildly inappropriate!! To make it worse she wears them with a large t shirt and it just looks like she's in a t shirt and pants 🙈

Well DD hasn't been out today, I'd told her she wasn't to wear the shorts so she said she'd got nothing else to wear (the biggest lie ever 😂) and went back upstairs. I'm going to rinse and repeat until the message gets through!

Well, I "actually parent" by prioritising my dd's sense if body autonomy over instilling a sense of modesty.

Parenting is about teaching values. Parents who make a different choice are still doing that, their values are just different to yours.

Um no I wouldn’t let my 13 year old out in them. She’s 17 now and she wouldn’t wear shorts that short now.

Well, I "actually parent" by prioritising my dd's sense if body autonomy over instilling a sense of modesty.

There are degrees though, bodily autonomy is important, so is teaching girls about the potential impact of using that bodily autonomy. My 12 year old can’t possibly understand the full extent of sexualisation at such a young age so I’m going to curb her bodily autonomy a bit until she can, and can make an informed choice about what she shows or not as the case may be.

It’s not an either/or.

Why would they? Supply and demand. They'll create what sells and girls and women clearly demand them.

She didn’t go out on a lovely sunny day? Thats sad. I’d rather my daughter wear the shorts (that are everywhere anyway) than sit inside miserable on a sunny day. I imagine all that will happen next time is she’ll get changed at a friends house.

I would offer to go shopping with her, get some ‘short shorts’ in the style she likes but perhaps mention just not as tight so every bit isn’t visible. Ive seen loads of teens/pre-teens wearing these in our towns and plenty who haven’t had their bits on display.

They've been around forever. Growing up in the 90s they were called 'pumpum shorts' 😂

As long and bits and pieces are covered and stay covered, it's fine

What incident would be related to wearing ‘whatever you want’ back in the day? Do you mean a wardrobe malfunction?

Well said 👌🏼

Ok I see you’ve explained and I’m still confused. A period leak would show even in jeans. And sorry poo and wee stains? At how old? That would show through shorts as well? Golly.

Erm this sounds a bit like you were worried about her own dad seeing it for sexual reasons? Rather than just that he'd be a protective dad and go mad. I hope it's the latter

Exactly my point

Why create it in the first place

@Iwasafool That's a bit ageist.. I don't want to look at any age flesh on show, why are 60 year olds worse

If that doesn’t work just wait until you’re in a crowded area and in your best concerned but supportive mum voice that’s quite loud “Oh darling your cute shorts are displaying your vulva again! Here, let me help you pull those down. You wouldn’t want to get thrush now would you”

• You probably shouldn’t do this

Have you explained the camel toe phenomenon to her?

And maybe discuss an extra thick pair of knickers to wear underneath to try and eradicate it?

Be helpful in that particularly out of touch mum way!

Be helpful in that particularly out of touch mum way!

Thank you, @SamphiretheTervosaurReturneth this is tone I was trying to describe!

I really do think these shorts are unsuitable for young girls going out in public if they're so thin and worn so small and tight that pretty much everything is on show..

I mean, I don't really think they're ideal outerwear for any age, but absolutely fine if that's what adults choose to wear.

Plenty of posts are saying that men/boys shouldn't be looking at young girls and noticing their ultra-tight shorts - quite rightly - but then there are plenty of posts with (presumably) women talking about seeing every detail of bum cheek and vulva contours of random young teens.

If it's all so obviously on display then surely it stands to reason that even non-pervy men and boys are getting an eyeful and so we can't just think/say "well they shouldn't be looking".

To make money and increase their profits. The more flesh is shown the more women and girls buy them, ergo there's the demand. Sex sells.

My daughter (7) wears Nike pros over her leotard for a couple of sports. That's what I thought the point of them was! I look forward to the battle in a few years over whether she can wear them to town 😂

It's depressing that it's still the case isn't it. Have we progressed at all, it's sad.

DD tries to wear similar. I refuse to make a battle over it - the UK climate will dictate a change of wardrobe soon enough and generally she's just in the house anyway. Few times we've been out and she's had to come down the freezer aisle with me in Tesco and she's now taken the hint and sticks leggings on to come out with me in case I repeat the trick.

I'm not going to make an issue about her body - the years where she's going to feel confident enough to dress like that are few and far between. I'll ask her to pick a t-shirt where it's at least a length so you can tell she's wearing shorts though.

Jeeze I remember in the 80s knicker shorts had to be worn for PE, I hated them all the girls did. If you turned up with none you got detention, if you wore your t - shirt longer or outside you got detention, we use to complain to the PE teacher about our knickers showing because the shorts were so tiny, she use to tell us not to wear knickers underneath or wear a thong, that's when I first learned about thongs. Can't believe girls are choosing to wear these very short shorts with the scrunch. They're awful.

I needed to go into town for a few things today and I saw a few girls with these shorts. I actually thought they looked fine, and I am a bit of a prude. However, they might have been a bit older than 13.

@BoogLoaf Sadly it will always be the case

At 13???