To get rid of men from my life altogether

[montecarlo7]

I know this sounds a bit barmy but I've been doing a lot of reflecting recently and I realised that men have overwhelmingly brought negative things into my life.

I made a list of the male friends and relationships I've had in the past and I realised there were only 5 who were good men who brought something positive and there were many who harmed me. I'm almost 40 and single.

I've been raped in what I thought were safe relationships. I've been sexually assaulted on multiple occasions, both by strangers and male friends. I've been harassed and catcalled a lot. Two male friends (both partnered) I made in the last few years ended up sexually harassing me. Not the first (or second) time either. My (male) neighbour in my last home harassed me to the point I had to go to the police.

I've had partnered and married men make passes at me over and over to the point that I don't make friends with couples anymore.

The men I've hired in a business or work context have not brought much positive either.

I do have one close male friend who I trust. But I'm thinking that I'm going to have a policy of no more male friends and stop looking for relationships...I'm going to be single and accept it.

At one point I thought this has to be my fault that the men that show up in my world are not that great. But now I'm getting to age 40 I'm starting to reconsider that it's actually them.

I plan to put my energy into female friendships only. I'm in a very female centred line of work and only work with women which is nice. I stopped hiring men for other jobs e.g. around the house if I can work with a woman instead.

I gave up a hobby I had that brings me into contact with a lot of men.

I know women are not all perfect either, but here's the thing. I've never been assaulted, sexually harmed, harassed, catcalled, verbally abused, or had an unwanted pass made at me by a woman.

It's clear that some men are unsafe to be around and that's reason enough to avoid the whole lot of them.

What do you think?

12... same for me.. How fucking depressing.

Wow that's me, exactly the same.

You still can't have a woman without a man.

Those who say they wouldn't bother again if their husbands etc died, you don't know that until it actually happens?

You still can't have a woman without a man.

Those who say they wouldn't bother again if their husbands etc died, you don't know that until it actually happens?

Most women who are in prison are usually in there for drug offences. Not great, but not the same as being inside for rape and murder.

That's 2 examples and Joanna Dennehy was jailed 10 years ago. I can think of at least 20 men who have murdered people all in the past couple of years.

You can say what you like, doesn't change the fact that statistically men are far more prone to violent behaviour than women. It is a proven fact. Nobody here is saying all women are saints, but there are just far more bad men than there are women.

Speaks for itself if we are talking about prisoners and 53% of those women are domestic violence victims.

All the "women are horrid too" posters are completely missing the OP's point.

SHE has decided that SHE has had enough of men, and some of us agreed, and shared our reasons.

Nobody's saying YOU all have to give men up too. Sausage is still on your menu, don't panic.

I am so fucking sick of hearing what about the men. I'm married to a nice man. I know they exist.

But could you spare one moment to consider the fact that society is still controlled by and primarily benefits men. Medicines are designed for them. Safety systems are tested for them. Pay and power structures favour them. So really, the men aren't doing too badly, are they?

On that basis do you think we could have ONE FUCKING CONVERSATION that doesn't centre men and panic about the potential for their hurty feelz because we want to talk about women's experiences?

I don’t get why men would be upset by this. So what if some women have thought “fuck this bollocks, I’m not dealing with any of this”. They aren’t obliged to date. If a man forswore of women I’d just shrug, doesn’t affect me in the slightest.

I think those posters are men, who take umbrage at the idea that women have finally started to see through the bullshit and opt out of dating. For some reason they hate it.
The rage and anger that seems to come out of some men when women assert boundaries is extraordinary.

It's the fact that we're not staying in the obedient box they have allocated to us. Makes them very annoyed for some reason.
Less women putting up with this shit means less free emotional and physical labour to be exploited by men.

Far be it for me not to support equal opportunities....

Sausage is still on YOUR menu, too, boys. Fill your boots.

Well for starters I’m not risking allowing any man to inherit either of my properties, both of which I have slogged my guts out for and are earmarked for my daughter.

Why on earth would I jeopardise mine and my daughter’s financial stability for a man when I know the odds of his being worth it are slim to none.

@Farmageddon Quite haven't we all had the experience of saying no to a man's advances only to be met by a barrage of abuse called c**t, bitch, dyke, ugly and so on. Men believe we exist for them and only for them and us saying no, having boundaries and so on is a massive affront to them and their sense of entitlement.

And the craziest part is that 99,7% of the comments are saying they have a delightful husbands (and sons and fathers and brothers and male friends and bosses 😄)!

So no fear, vast makority of women are still

fulfilling their patriarchal duties and demands, so
impose no threat whatsoever.

Only op and one other commenter has said they are staying aingle.

Honestly, women on this thread has spoken about men much more kindlier than I ever heard/read men talk about women.

Because they're scared that we're finally standing up to their nonsense.

I saw on twitter a man moaning about "woke women" because it means men will get less sex.

I saw on twitter a man moaning about "woke women" because it means men will get less sex.

Dumb man he is.
The ’woke’ women are the one’s into hook-up culture, they want it quick and easy.
I thought they were men’s dream!

😂

Those of you who'd like a female plumber look up Stop Cocks!

The what about the men commenters always reveal themselves when they try to claim that women are "just as bad." Statistically speaking, men are dangerous towards other men, too. So instead of dredging up decades-old examples of rare violent female offenders, why not think, "golly, this is a problem we ought to fix, eh, chaps?"

Instead they want their hurty feels soothed by the women in this thread. 🙄

This thread is reassuring and depressing in equal measure.

I used to like men and enjoy their company, but after years of living and working alongside them, I don’t have much positive to say about them. Sick of their entitlement, the micro aggressions, selfishness and abuse.

I used to think my abusive ex was the reason I’d turned into a man- hater, so it’s reassuring to hear I’m not alone in feeling this way!

And the craziest part is that 99,7% of the comments are saying they have a delightful husbands (and sons and fathers and brothers and male friends and bosses 😄)!

Well yes because patriarchy still exerts a very strong grip over many if not most women.

It takes an exceptionally strong woman (or a gay woman and even some gay women get suckered in) to resist the battery of cultural and socialisation assault they are subjected to in their youth telling them they are nothing without a man.

And once they are up to their necks in the infrastructure of patriarchy (marriage, children, the whole nine yards) and if their male partner is kind and basically life enhancing it is quite difficult to disentangle from him. So most of us will stick with a man who is “good enough” even if he is not really good enough.

My partner is “good enough”. He is kind and considerate and fits well enough into my life and I appreciate him for many things. If I were designing my life again from the start to be optimal for me would it include him? Probably not. If I had my time again I would cut them all out completely.

But very few people know this in their 20s and 30s. Hindsight is a wonderful thing.

I don't hate men, l just don't want one in my life.
My husband died 10 year ago and l haven't got the desire to find another one.
Women put too much value on men making them happy. There are good men out there but they can stay out there. I wouldn't give up the life l have now.
I am glad l had the experience of being married, no regrets, but l wouldn't want to be a wife again, or share my house with a man again. I love my own precious time and space, my own way of doing things, no one to consult. I make all my own decisions. Totally responsible for myself and my own happiness.

I think there a number of women I know, me included, that wouldn't date or have relationships with men again if our current relationships ended.

I love my H, he's a pretty decent bloke. Some flaws (like me!) but pulls his weight and he makes me happy. But if we were to split, or if he were to die before me, I wouldn't look to have a LTR or re-marry. To be fair I don't think he would either if the situation were reversed.