I love with chronic serious mental illness. I am no longer able to do the professional healthcare role I trained for, and each time I tried after my initial breakdown/ diagnosis, I ended up on long term sick leave and eventually had to leave those jobs. I have 'used up' my entitlement to student finance/ loans so cannot retrain at a professional level.
There is no funding for people with disabilities to retrain - I've spent hours with my local careers service trying to find a way round this, but there is nothing. And because I receive ESA (support group) I am unable to access programmes for the unemployed.
I am also in the process of reapplying fir PIP for the the third time in a decade. The first time I was awarded daily living rate straight away. My application was fine by the benefits worker at my local CMHT. When it came to the time for review, the benefits worker had been made redundant and that service was gone. My PIP was stopped at review, and eventually reinstated a year later at tribunal. It was a long and arduous year which impacted on my mental health, which was poor anyway, and my home life and relationships, because we had to make do with £400 less coming in each month (my partner was on minimum wage).
Thos has now happened again. The assessor stated I was 'no longer under the care of CMHT' when, in fact the CMHT locally has been decimated by staff shortages and can barely care for and treat people in life-threatening crisis, let alone those of us who previously benefited from a fortnightly check in with a CPN and six monthly meds reviews.
The dire lack of services to treat me is interpreted by the DWP as me not requiring help, care or treatment. It's utterly twisted and people who haven't been through the process have no idea how utterly demeaning, humiliating and stressful it is to attempt to provide robust evidence for conditions that rely on services existing to provide that evidence. My illness generally causes me to self isolate through paranoia, derealisation and acute anxiety, but the DWP expect some kind of weird circus performance of madness to 'prove' I am mentally ill. And then I have to go through the same damaging process every three years to prove that my condition, which is worsening as I age (in line with all the medical resesrch on the illness) is still present, despite being medically recognised as a life-ling condition.
It's exhausting. Being ill is exhausting, and then having to prove all this, and complete all the admin and paperwork, in the absence of health services who could provide 'proof' just leaves me feeling broken, and worthless and a burden to my family and society. But I guess I should feel grateful, right?