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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What lifestyle do you think disabled people who are not working should have?

276 replies

HmmOk · 14/08/2023 20:54

Curious about what other people think. Before anyone says it, yes I am quite aware that plenty of disabled people do work and lots earn very well. However not everyone is able to do that.

I generally think disability benefits should cover a decent quality of life - should make up shortfall in rent as rents are so high, decent quality food, pay for therapies and tools that would help the person's disabilities, and pay for some fun stuff so that everyone can participate in society. People need to have a bit more money than only meets their basic needs, to be able to meet a mate for coffee or have a day out or whatnot.

Thinking about this today as not currently working due to bereavement and poor physical health and know I'm lucky to be in a loving marriage where i am supported, and for now we are ok with money. I'm hoping to find work I can do soon that won't further fuck my health.

In contrast I have a mate who is very ill with very serious life threatening conditions. She is single, abusive family of origin and she is quite vulnerable especially looking at the future. I think there should be better security for her future as the immense stress of money is not helping her health at all. Like why can't PIP be given for life to someone in that situation? It is cruel.

What do you think?

OP posts:
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Original poster
HmmOk · 14/08/2023 21:13

@SpamFrittersYouSay Lots of fluctuating disabilities and illnesses cause fatigue, pain, brain fog and lots of other unpleasant random symptoms to deal with, that make it difficult to predict how much you will be able to do in a day.

It's not only mental health conditions that do that, unfortunately. There are lots of other invisible illnesses.

OP posts:
fullbloom87 · 14/08/2023 21:14

I think it should work on a case by case basis.
For example my child was born with a rare genetic disorder, sustained brain damaged due to Doctor and hospital negligence.
I absolutely think that she should be supplied with enough financial support to live a decent quality of life, in a nice home suitable for her needs. I don't think her disability should ever make her poor.

We've had to put extra away in savings to make sure that if we die she doesn't end up in a home or a grotty flat somewhere living on beans. Because sadly this is what will happen if we don't support her.

If someone has abused their body (like my father) and as a result disabled themselves with diabetes type 2, stroke caused by smoking 60 fags a day etc then it's a different story all together. I think he obviously shouldn't be left homeless and starving but he should get the basics. Unlike my daughter who deserves to be a millionaire as far as I'm concerned.

Sadly disabled children suffer in poverty due to lack of funding. I haven't been able to work because of her brain damage that was completely avoidable, and I now spend my life fighting for hospital appointments, making sure she doesn't die of seizures in her sleep, and fighting for a school place.

The government need to pull their fingers out.

ValleyClouds · 14/08/2023 21:15

Half the problem is most disabled people want to work but employers cannot be forced to hire them

CandyLeBonBon · 14/08/2023 21:17

I have a blue badge. I work in a job that pays national average but if my mobility levels were better (and I wasn't a single parent), I could earn double.

I can't do those jobs, and in the next 2-3 years I expect my condition to deteriorate further. I love my job. If i stopped, I'd be hard pushed to earn the same as I do now, and I can't do retail/hospitality so I'd end up earning less.

So I'll be reliant on UC. Last time I applied for Pip I was turned down and didn't have the capacity to appeal - because I'm already at my limits. People like me fall through the cracks.

StarbucksSmarterSister · 14/08/2023 21:17

A relatively comfortable one. Nobody chooses to be disabled and it's shit enough as it is without having to suffer financially.

I am not disabled but my father became so in his 40s. It was awful enough without the financial hardship.

gogomoto · 14/08/2023 21:18

Those who are unable to undertake any work ever should be supported properly, those who could work with support and retraining should be offered that, those who are temporary unable to work should be supported so they can properly recover. But those who are not working but could should be supported back into (potentially a different kind of) work. I unfortunately know of people who are quite capable of holding down part time jobs but don't having not worked for over 20 years, support is the key here and an understanding that some need to only work part time

HermioneWeasley · 14/08/2023 21:18

I think work is good for you. I’d rather see the money put into supporting employers to help
disabled people into work, and better medical/mental health care to stop people getting so ill in the first place.

for the remaining people who genuinely can’t work I’d like to see a good standard of living. But I am deeply skeptical about paying for people whose disability is entirely reliant on self report - back pain, depression etc.

Original poster
HmmOk · 14/08/2023 21:19

@CandyLeBonBon yes I agree, discriminatory in all likelihood. Which should not theoretically happen but very much does.

It is the same in the workplace. In theory they are supposed to help with reasonable adjustments but I think your card is marked as soon as you mention needing anything, no matter how modest.

I think it may sometimes be different for people who are high up in their careers and well established before becoming ill or disabled. They have more bargaining chips. But not always, either.

OP posts:
Samcro · 14/08/2023 21:19

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Some people are so disabled they will never work.
not because they don’t want to work, but because they are too disabled.
must tell my adult dc that they should be grateful.
sadly they won’t understand because they are too disabled

anniegun · 14/08/2023 21:20

A single person over 25 who is too disabled to work is likely to get the higher daily living payment of PIP and UC which together adds up to less than £200 per week assuming they don't qualify for housing support. That is around £10k per year so a lot less than minimum wage

CandyLeBonBon · 14/08/2023 21:20

HermioneWeasley · 14/08/2023 21:18

I think work is good for you. I’d rather see the money put into supporting employers to help
disabled people into work, and better medical/mental health care to stop people getting so ill in the first place.

for the remaining people who genuinely can’t work I’d like to see a good standard of living. But I am deeply skeptical about paying for people whose disability is entirely reliant on self report - back pain, depression etc.

But I am deeply skeptical about paying for people whose disability is entirely reliant on self report - back pain, depression etc.

Have you experienced depression yourself? To the point where you cant function?

FiveOClockWorld · 14/08/2023 21:22

HermioneWeasley · 14/08/2023 21:18

I think work is good for you. I’d rather see the money put into supporting employers to help
disabled people into work, and better medical/mental health care to stop people getting so ill in the first place.

for the remaining people who genuinely can’t work I’d like to see a good standard of living. But I am deeply skeptical about paying for people whose disability is entirely reliant on self report - back pain, depression etc.

Depression is usually diagnosed by GP or mental health professionals. You can't successfully claim disability or sickness benefits without a ton of evidence from professionals . Self diagnosed people unlikely to get far .

ValleyClouds · 14/08/2023 21:22

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Yes because most people choose their illness as a lifestyle choice, yeah?

The bedbound are just Grandpa Joe from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, just want handouts

The parents of those adults with non verbal autism are just grabby and full of entitlement aren't they?

Goady Fucker.

FutureThroughLensOfThePast · 14/08/2023 21:22

An average lifestyle - similar disposable income to someone on the average UK wage.

anniegun · 14/08/2023 21:23

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Maybe you should go up to disabled people and ask them to thank you for your support

Samcro · 14/08/2023 21:23

ValleyClouds · 14/08/2023 21:22

Yes because most people choose their illness as a lifestyle choice, yeah?

The bedbound are just Grandpa Joe from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, just want handouts

The parents of those adults with non verbal autism are just grabby and full of entitlement aren't they?

Goady Fucker.

Show quote history

Agree good post

olivehaters · 14/08/2023 21:26

I think it shouldn't be higher than a person working full time on a living wage. But then living wage should be higher.

ZZpop · 14/08/2023 21:26

"And maybe a smaller sense of entitlement and slightly more gratitude."

I could tell my severely disabled son that he must be more grateful but he wouldn't have a clue what I was saying.

ValleyClouds · 14/08/2023 21:27

@Samcro

My neighbour is a young virtually bedbound man who is dying from a horrible disease, I'll let him know he needs to be grateful to those real humans who work next time I see him.

XenoBitch · 14/08/2023 21:28

anniegun · 14/08/2023 21:20

A single person over 25 who is too disabled to work is likely to get the higher daily living payment of PIP and UC which together adds up to less than £200 per week assuming they don't qualify for housing support. That is around £10k per year so a lot less than minimum wage

PIP is very hard to get.

mrsjackrussell · 14/08/2023 21:28

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I would love to be well enough to work but unfortunately had to give up a job I loved because I got a neurological disease at age 42.
I can't walk or speak properly.
So please tell me how I can get a job that involves not talking or walking and that I can only do very part time because I get so fatigued with the drugs I take.

Original poster
HmmOk · 14/08/2023 21:28

There seems to be a universal acceptance now that work is a big important factor in fixing depression. I just don't buy it tbh.

Yes, having a sense of purpose and achieving is beneficial for mental health in the majority of people.

That's quite different to trying to do one of the miserable, high stress, poverty wage jobs with your health breaking down and being disciplined because your sickness record goes up, and everyone being pissed off because you need time off for hospital appointments.

OP posts:
Crazydoglady1980 · 14/08/2023 21:29

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How to say you have no idea about disability without saying you have no idea

Bonfire23 · 14/08/2023 21:29

I'm in the awkward spot of sometimes too unwell to work, juggling numerous appointments/medication/side effects but not unwell enough for PIP
I earn min wage + commission on 40hrs a week which is tight (single)

AnxiousFairyQueen · 14/08/2023 21:30

It seems to be virtually impossible to get PIP for autism or mental health problems. I’ve tried twice and failed and have had to move in with my mother. I won’t appeal because the initial assessment is humiliating enough. It isn’t enough to say that you’re mentally unwell….you have to pretend to live in a pigsty, have terrible personal hygiene, not be able to prepare a meal.

They send a report back saying things like “You can walk your dog”, “You didn’t go to a special school”, “You can go to a shop”, “You can communicate verbally”. Those things have nothing to do with the fact that most afternoons I can barely get out of bed. It’s a fucking joke.

It didn’t used to be like this…it was far easier to get DLA. There’s no safety net and no one seems to care. But they should because most people would be in the same predicament if they became ill.