Worried my Sons will be left with nothing

[JaffaCake70]

My Husband and I are both early 50s and have been married just over a year (together 3 years in October).

Before we met I had been renting private accommodation. When we married I moved into my Husband's house which he had been paying the mortgage on for around 5 years, he had also paid a large deposit when he moved into the property as he had sold a previous property. We now both contribute to the mortgage and all other household expenses. We re-mortgaged to the tune of £10,000 to pay for our wedding and honeymoon.

We haven't really had any serious conversations about finances apart from the agreement of how much I would pay into the home but now I'm starting to worry. I know I need to speak to my Husband about the things I'm about to discuss with you, but I just wanted to see if anyone can advise me where I stand legally before I have the conversation.

My Husband has an adult Son and Daughter, his Daughter lives with us, I have 2 adult Sons, neither of whom live with us.

We both have decent pensions, if anything should happen to him before he cashes his, I would receive it and vice versa (he would receive mine). This has all been put into place.

He has told me that if he should die before me, the proceeds of the house are being split 3 ways between me, his Son and his Daughter.

My worry is: What is being left to my Sons should I die first?

This is really playing on my mind because the way it looks to me on paper is that they wouldn't get anything.

Is there anything I can do to change this? Can I split my pension 3 ways so that my Sons get a 3rd each?

What will happen to my 3rd of the house if I were to die first? I am now paying into the house, surely my Sons should be entitled to something in the event of my death? How does it work though? For example, if I were to die in 10 years time (God forbid) but my Husband then went on to live for another 20 years, maybe even marries again, what happens to my 3rd of the property?

I'm really worried that I've put my Sons in the position of not receiving anything at all if I were to die before my Husband. I don't have any savings to bequeath to them, the only money I have of my own is my pension.

Do I have any legal standing in stating that I want my 3rd of the property to be divided between my Sons in the event of my death. I still feel it's a little unfair that my Sons would be receiving less than my Husband's children (as in his children would still receive a 3rd each, my Sons would have to share my 3rd).

I'm stressing myself out with all of this, I know I need to speak to my Husband but don't want to come across as money grabbing as I'm really not. I just want to know that my Sons will be provided for financially in the event of my death.

YABU - Your Sons should not be entitled to anything from the house

YANBU - You work just as hard as your Husband and are now paying an equal amount into the home therefore your Sons definitely are entitled to a percentage of the house.

But more than YA/YANBU opinions, please can anyone advise as to what I should do/say in this situation?

I don't think I would be happy paying towards the mortgage of a property I had no right to. Either you should be added to the deeds or you should use the mortgage money to put into your own savings account instead. If you are married you should have a share of the house anyway though? But it sounds risky and as though there could be stressful issues later down the road.

BRB- just checking my facts before posting on here so place marking

Tbh the will is a red herring. Wills can be changed so don’t bank on getting anything

I think your dh is either being naive or trying to put you at a disadvantage and also at the same time leaving himself open to losing a lot of money.
You could be at a serious disadvantage if he dies first but if you divorce after a long marriage then it won’t matter how much money he put down as a deposit. The house regardless of who’s name is on the deeds the house will be considered the marital home and 100% of that amount will be placed in the marital pot to be split.

For his own sake and yours

Ok, I'm back @JaffaCake70 .

You can check the deeds by paying £3 to the land registry - this will give you the name of the people on the house deeds I think.

only go through the gov website though there's loads of scammers online who will charge more

https://www.gov.uk/get-information-about-property-and-land/copies-of-deeds

@JaffaCake70 if your name is now on the mortgage, in what capacity is it on? if you are responsible for paying the mortgage, then you would have had to sign something to agree to this and it sounds like you have not signed this.

So, how can you be certain your name is on the mortgage? if you are, then in what capacity? Is it purely something that says you are allowed to live there (and if so, until when)? This doesn't sound correct to me.

I don't think you can insist in any way that a certain amount of house goes to your children. I would first think about where you will live if he passes before you

We don't know enough do we? How much deposit did the husband have to put down, how long does the mortgage have to run? Where did the deposit come from? How much are the monthly payments? If he leaves 33% to the OP is that enough to sort something out so she is not homeless?
I understand being upset at wanting to ensure that the surviving spouse is not homeless, but it might be that the husband doesn't want what was his money going towards step children and not his own.
FWIW, I am a widow with 2 children with disabilities, there is no way I would remarry[ even if I found anyone mad enough to take me on] and not make my children the priority in respect of my property.

I think you’ve had some good advice here, particularly to check if you’re on the deeds (ie. Is your husband as trustworthy as you think). But you mention your pension being handed onto your sons. I don’t think most pensions have provision for this once your kids are adults. It’s spousal support, and dependent kids only. Obviously check, but you don’t hear of people being left their parents pensions as inheritance etc.

I am a solicitor and I specialise in this area. You really need to instruct a solicitor to make sure this is done properly. It is no use appealing to what is fair and reasonable if in fact the documentation is not in place. You won't have a leg to stand on. Form what you have said, it sounds perfectly possible that you are being taken for a ride or at the very least, the two of you have been naïve and not thought through all of the implications of your financial set-up.

• You need to have your name on the title deeds and you need to enter into a declaration of trust over the property with your husband, setting out the shares in which you co-own it - this can give you a floating share in the property, in proportion to any contributions you have made, so that your % share of the equity will increase as you contribute.

• You need to make a Will - otherwise on your death the first £270,000 of all you own (including any share of the house you have gained) will go to your husband and any balance will be split between your husband (50%) and children (50%). That's the law, where you die without a Will and married with children.

• You should ask to see your husband's Will and discuss with him and your solicitor the best way to ensure you feel secure in the home. Co-ownership gives you the right to live there, but your fellow co-owners (your step children after your husband's death) could force a sale. Ideally, you should be given a life interest in the property in your husband's Will. Of course your husband does not have to show you his Will, but if he refuses to do so, that will tell you a lot about him and what his intentions are.

Hopefully your husband is just a bit clueless and is not actively pulling the wool over your eyes. I recommend you get a copy of the title deeds from HM Land Registry (it's under £10 for a download) and see if you can get a copy of your husband's Will, if he has one. Then when you have those documents, take them to your own solicitor, without your husband, so that you can discuss everything openly. It will probably cost you £200-£300 to get an idea of where you stand. It will be money well spent. The law is complex and you need an expert to guide you through and ensure things are set up properly, so that you are not just pouring money into a house without gaining anything for yourself.
Good luck!

But that still gives her time to earn money and get her own house..

How can he do that? Is your name on the deeds? If so, then you should have your half, and he has his half. He can will his half to who ever he likes. You will your half to your children. You need to talk to him about this as you're paying half the mortgage, seems unfair if it's all in his name. Talk to him and see a solicitor to protect your half to pass onto your sons. Worse thing you can do is ignore it, because things happen and best it's sorted now for your peace of mind.

why should I contribute to a mortgage that my children won't benefit from in the event of my death? I might aswell still be renting as it would just be dead money to me.
So you should just live in your husbands house without contributing anything? No wonder people think you’re grabby, you’re just seeing this bloke as $$$ I hope he realises this.

As a single parent to 2 children I worked incredibly hard to afford to buy my own house. I had a large deposit, and a smallish mortgage. I've been paying it for 6 years. If I were to meet someone, I wouldn't be adding them to the deeds as this is my children's inheritance. I wouldn't expect a partners children to be entitled to anything either. It would he different if you had contributed equally towards the deposit etc...

Contributing to the mortgage of the house she lives in as opposed to renting?

I would take your point on board only if she used savings to increase the value of the property. She is clearly not doing this.

If you're paying half the mortgage you should be listed on the deeds. If you're paying rent and towards bills, then you're not entitled to be on the deeds. So you need to talk with him. You could buy a flat to rent out, when you die it's split between your children.

Agree.

But your situation is slightly different isn't it?

The OP is paying a monthly amount towards the mortgage. Or so she thinks ( no certainty she is on the mortgage deal.)

Do you think her payments should be regarded as rent with no accumulation of value?

If you did marry again and your husband paid towards the mortgage for 15 years until it was paid off, would they never get that money back when they died to pass onto whoever they wished?

@Wakintoblueskies not sure I follow your idea, but you seem to be saying her monthly payments equal rent.

what difference does savings make?

Money is money whether it's her monthly salary going into the payments, or savings. No difference.

If her H wants her to pay him rent so he can use that towards the mortgage, then he should have said that!!!!

@Wakintoblueskies whatever she is paying whether from savings or earnings won't increase the value of the house!

Only inflation increases the value, or renovations/ extensions to a property.

The OP is paying the equivalent of rent. If she rented for twenty years, would she be entitled to the rental property?

I would change your pension in this instance and leave that to your sons, that you have control over. House you need to have a conversation. I would pay towards the bills but no material payments until you sort it out.

You are entitled to some of the house if you divorce, and o 1/3 if he dies. But if you die as it stands I don't think your sons are entitled to anything. But as others say get legal advice.

I am not in anyway legally qualified so my advice is based simply on what seems fair to me.

I would find out his deposit amount and ring fence that for his children.

I would then work out what percentage of the remaining mortgage he had already paid by the time you moved in, not the monetary amount, the percentage. Then your share of the house should be half of the remaining percentage (ie your contribution). You can then update the deeds saying you own that percentage as that is what you have bought.

Very long winded and convoluted but seems fair.

So say he put in £100,000 deposit on a £200,000 house and paid off a further £20,000 before you moved in. You would be paying half of the remaining £80,000 (if you pay the mortgage 50:50 now.

So your share of the house would be 20%

OP I don't claim to be perfect

money and your legal rights are basics of adulting. How can you think you're on a mortgage without any records? Did you look at the legality of marriage? What happens if you die first?

It doesn't sound as though you are on the mortgage if you didn't sign anything or receive any documentation?

Also, if you were on the deeds and you died, your husband would receive 100 percent of the house (unless you had a tenants in common agreement). That's my understanding, anyway. That means it's up to your husband if your son's receive anything. And vice versa. I may be wrong because I'm not an expert, but that's what I assumed.

Precisely. If renovations were made, funded by the OP, then I can understand why she’d feel her sons had an entitlement to the property.

As it stands she wants, along with her sons, to inherit for merely living there.

I sincerely hope her (D)H has the measure of her.

You seem to have a problem with understanding something pretty simple.

No one owns a property when they rent it. That's a given.

She isn't paying rent. she's paying towards a mortgage. (unless you know differently!) And she is also married.