Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Woman at park wished my son to fall off climbing frame...

150 replies

justanothermanicm0nday · 13/08/2023 20:05

At a popular theme park this week with my 12 year old son who albeit is prob too old but is appeasing his younger sister and friends.

They were playing in the play area between rides. We were sat watching actually inside the park, I was probably 4m from the actual frame. My son has climbed on top of the climbing frame and has just sat on top and is talking to his sister below. He was not doing anything silly albeit he prob shouldn't of been on top of the climbing frame roof bit but wasn't overly high or dangerous to him and he was quite capable.

There was a group of women sat next to us. One of the women was getting very agitated about my son being on top, I only caught mid convo but overheard her saying at first "I hope he falls off" which is what caught my attention. She then continued to say how stupid it was and she hoped he fell off and it taught him a lesson etc not just once but over and over.

I was a bit shocked tbh, I didn't say anything to her directly as didn't want to cause a scene, I'm not that kind of person but it's really been playing on my mind.

Yes the he's being silly bit but the wishing he would fall off, who says that?

I don't know why I'm posting this on here either, just to check aibu? Or hoping she may be on here to explain her side to help me see why she wished my son to fall off and hurt himself.

(If he was to fall of I doubt he'd of actually hurt himself tbh because it actually wasn't too high)

OP posts:
PurpleChrayne · 13/08/2023 20:06

Did you not say anything? If I heard anyone wishing an accident on my child I would say "watch your mouth".

Hawkins009 · 13/08/2023 20:07

I've heard similar about different things when people are doing "silly" things when preference wise they should be behaving.

It's like when some people show off riding bicycles eg doing wheelies, the theory is they should be doing x activities normally rather than misbehaving.

At least that's how I understand the theory.

Sometimeswinning · 13/08/2023 20:08

You said nothing?? Difference between causing a scene and making a comment!

If anyone said that about my son I'd most definitely be enquiring what her issue was to wish harm on my child!

MrsO3 · 13/08/2023 20:09

You should have spoke up! She obviously didn’t know he was your son (well, I bet she didn’t anyway.) Would have loved to watch her squirm as you said something like “and why would you want my child to fall and hurt himself?”

Testina · 13/08/2023 20:09

Do you actually think she was hoping that would happen?

I say about the idiot boy racer drivers, “hope they crash the damn thing” but I’m actually not wishing them dead!

It’s an odd thing to be commenting on (as climbing frames are for climbing!) and if your AIBU was “for telling her to shut her mouth!” I’d say you were very reasonable!

But you’re way OTT to be posting here actually thinking she wanted him to fall, and even looking for the “why”. You already know: to teach him a lesson.

OnTheRunWithMannyMontana · 13/08/2023 20:11

Sorry but I wouldn't have been able to stop myself from saying something to her. Even just a sharp "excuse me that's my child".

ittakes2 · 13/08/2023 20:16

Terrible of her but I am guessing since you said yourself he should prob not have been up there she is prob concerned he is setting a bad example for her younger child. Ie they thinking it’s ok to climb that high

Topee · 13/08/2023 20:26

She wouldn’t have meant it literally I’m sure.

SpamFrittersYouSay · 13/08/2023 20:27

You said yourself that he shouldn't have been there, why didn't you tell him to come down?
Maybe his presence there intimidated younger children.

Timetochangegonzo · 13/08/2023 20:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TappingTed · 13/08/2023 20:32

I’m assuming he was on TOP of the climbing frame rather than playing on it- perhaps as he is too big for it. And I guess that can be intimidating or just annoying as it shows younger children that you could climb on top which would be dangerous for them even if not for him.
if he’s too big for it I’m then you really should just say to his cousins sorry he is too big for it- he can watch you…
I couldn’t really care less what a random person said- it’s not like she has any power with her words. And like others have said it’s probably more of a throwaway comment that you don’t really mean- like “I hope they slip” when you see someone with u suitable footwear on an icy day, but you don’t REALLY want them to fall…

NotStayingIn · 13/08/2023 20:35

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
justanothermanicm0nday · 13/08/2023 20:55

He wasn't being a knob though, if he was teasing other children or shouting etc I could understand, no one had noticed him up there he wasn't being silly or anything literally just sitting there chilling out chatting to his sister.

I feel she did mean it as it wasn't a throw away comment she kept repeating it over and over.

I did say to my friend loudly why is she saying that which is when she stopped so I'm guessing she did hear me as they were sat literally right next to us.

OP posts:
Dontcareforthehaters · 13/08/2023 20:56

What is with the child hating happening at the moment in society. Has it always been there where people have literally zero tolerance around children and toddlers? I definitely think less of people who behave like this.

Sparkleshine21 · 13/08/2023 21:10

I do wish teenagers would keep off kids parks. I have a very shy autistic six year old and she won’t go near the play park if teenagers are on it, she’s too scared. The play park near us has constantly got teenagers from the surrounding houses on it and I just think…why?!?

ShirleyPhallus · 13/08/2023 21:14

older kids on play equipment is intimidating for the younger ones and totally unnecessary

he should have got down

Timetochangegonzo · 13/08/2023 21:18

I definitely think less of people who behave like this

Oh god please no. Don’t dislike me @Dontcareforthehaters stranger on the internet. I couldn’t bear it

10HailMarys · 13/08/2023 21:19

Obviously you and she have a very different interpretation of your son’s behaviour on the climbing frame.

My guess is that she perhaps thought he was too old for it and hogging it/inadvertently intimidating the younger kids/showing off. I appreciate that you don’t feel that’s what was happening, but to her (as she doesn’t know him) perhaps that’s how it looked.

Her “I hope he falls off” comment was a bit harsh (although I doubt she meant it literally, however many times she said it). But unless she’s somehow capable of telekinesis, she can’t make your boy fall off a climbing frame with the power of her mind, so ultimately no harm was done and I’d just think “What a stroppy cow” and then forget about it.

elenacampana · 13/08/2023 21:19

Older kids don’t belong in the play park, which is probably the issue she had. I doubt she actually wished him harm. I had to take my not even two year old out the other day because a very permissive parent had no control over her 10-12 year old. I think it just grates after a while. He shouldn’t have been sitting on the top of it and it’s a shame you heard someone saying how they felt about it and you got upset.

I wouldn’t have let him get up there in the first place so wouldn’t have to hear someone make a comment like that.

Wenfy · 13/08/2023 21:19

Were you at Alton Towers? If so that’s just how some of us northerners speak. I doubt anyone was wishing him any harm.

ChristmasKraken · 13/08/2023 21:27

Testina · 13/08/2023 20:09

Do you actually think she was hoping that would happen?

I say about the idiot boy racer drivers, “hope they crash the damn thing” but I’m actually not wishing them dead!

It’s an odd thing to be commenting on (as climbing frames are for climbing!) and if your AIBU was “for telling her to shut her mouth!” I’d say you were very reasonable!

But you’re way OTT to be posting here actually thinking she wanted him to fall, and even looking for the “why”. You already know: to teach him a lesson.

My mum once said that as someone came tearing down a country lane, overtaking us on a blind bend. They promptly drove into the ditch on the next bend and we ended up helping him out! I swore my mum was a witch for years after that...

DreamingofGinoclock · 13/08/2023 21:30

Obviously it's not a nice thing to say. However while sitting on top is within his capabilities and not to high for him ...it most likely is to high for the younger children in the play park who all like to copy older kids so yes it would get my back up (more so that you hadn't asked him to come down) as I wouldn't want my kids to think they could copy

anotherside · 13/08/2023 21:37

Her comment was mean. But was the playground for younger kids or bigger kids? If there were little kids about then it is okay if big kids are playing with due care but they really shouldn’t be climbing on top of the structures (or racing about with undue care etc) as if they slip they could well land on top of a much smaller child. It really isn’t appropriate and puts parents of small children in a tricky position.

Hufflepods · 13/08/2023 21:41

A big 12 year old climbing all over the roof of a little kids climbing frame is rough and annoying.
It’s pretty shitty to sit back and let him do that.

Testina · 13/08/2023 21:46

“I feel she did mean it as it wasn't a throw away comment she kept repeating it over and over.”

You really think she meant it?