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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Woman at park wished my son to fall off climbing frame...

150 replies

justanothermanicm0nday · 13/08/2023 20:05

At a popular theme park this week with my 12 year old son who albeit is prob too old but is appeasing his younger sister and friends.

They were playing in the play area between rides. We were sat watching actually inside the park, I was probably 4m from the actual frame. My son has climbed on top of the climbing frame and has just sat on top and is talking to his sister below. He was not doing anything silly albeit he prob shouldn't of been on top of the climbing frame roof bit but wasn't overly high or dangerous to him and he was quite capable.

There was a group of women sat next to us. One of the women was getting very agitated about my son being on top, I only caught mid convo but overheard her saying at first "I hope he falls off" which is what caught my attention. She then continued to say how stupid it was and she hoped he fell off and it taught him a lesson etc not just once but over and over.

I was a bit shocked tbh, I didn't say anything to her directly as didn't want to cause a scene, I'm not that kind of person but it's really been playing on my mind.

Yes the he's being silly bit but the wishing he would fall off, who says that?

I don't know why I'm posting this on here either, just to check aibu? Or hoping she may be on here to explain her side to help me see why she wished my son to fall off and hurt himself.

(If he was to fall of I doubt he'd of actually hurt himself tbh because it actually wasn't too high)

OP posts:
Bandyarsia · 13/08/2023 21:54

Get down off that, you're too big.

It really is that simple. Just so you know for next time.

DarkForces · 13/08/2023 21:55

It was a bit of a twatty thing to say but if he couldn't hear it then what impact has it had? Wishes don't make anything actually happen (unless you throw a coin into the well, but then if someone hears they're void anyway).
Ignore and don't let it spoil your day

LolaSmiles · 13/08/2023 21:59

She was being rude and passive aggressive

Equally it's really annoying when parents of children who are too old for the play equipment sit back whilst their children do things that either puts the intended aged children at risk / makes it so the younger children won't want to play fully in the area.

If I had a 12 year old who was too big for the play area and was climbing on the roof of it, I'd be telling them to get down.

Aquamarine1029 · 13/08/2023 22:00

Your 12 year old is sitting on top of a climbing frame meant for small children, you knew he shouldn't have been sitting up there, yet you say nothing to him. He was behaving inappropriately, and he doesn't need to be acting outrageously to do so. You should have told him immediately to get down.

PurpleFlower1983 · 13/08/2023 22:01

If he shouldn’t have been up there then he’s setting a bad example for the other kids. I’m sure she didn’t mean I literally and I think you should have told your son to get down.

Strawberryfieldsforeverrr · 13/08/2023 22:04

It sounds like he was a nuisance sitting up there and you didn't correct him.
She very likely didn't want him to break his arm, it's just a turn of phrase.
Maybe next time though better to manage his behaviour more effectively?

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 13/08/2023 22:06

I still can’t believe some of the things posted on MN sometimes.

Yes, it was a silly and unnecessary thing for her to say and for her to say it over and over was silly and a bit mean of her but he’s 12 not 7 and I doubt he heard it. All you had to do as the mother is speak to the woman and say “yes he is a bit old to be up there but he’s having fun snd I hope he doesn’t fall off@ accompanied by a head tilt and tinkly laugh (sarcasm there). She’d then probably speak to you or not and maybe laugh herself.

PerspiringElizabeth · 13/08/2023 22:06

What does she care what your kid is doing? Wishing for a child to fall off is revolting. A climbing frame/playground equipment is there to climb on. DS is 8, so not 'too old' for a playground, and would do the same. As long as not stopping another kid from using the equipment, why would I stop him?

Sux2buthen · 13/08/2023 22:06

Dontcareforthehaters · 13/08/2023 20:56

What is with the child hating happening at the moment in society. Has it always been there where people have literally zero tolerance around children and toddlers? I definitely think less of people who behave like this.

I walked into a family restaurant last week, one with a soft play attached. As soon as my children and I entered this nasty old cow said 'oh great, here we go. We shouldn't have come, shall we ask to be moved?'
Because my children had entered without any noise or fuss at all. I called out
'Yes, you can do' she shut up and nothing else of interest happened.
My kids were as good as gold bless them.

In case anyone comments:
Yes I said 'old' and it's not ageism, she was old. She was also a cow

NIparty · 13/08/2023 22:07

SpamFrittersYouSay · 13/08/2023 20:27

You said yourself that he shouldn't have been there, why didn't you tell him to come down?
Maybe his presence there intimidated younger children.

Yea this. It really annoys me when older kids climb on bits of the frame that aren't actually for climbing on (like sitting on the top bit - I'm taking it to mean he's not sitting on the climbing part) and then my kids are too indimated to climb on the actual climbing part and they're the age range the thing was made for. And while he wasn't being mischievous or threatening, he's using it in a way ita not supposed to, and either unknowingly indimating smaller children not to use it or giving them ideas of equally risky behaviour

WhenIWasAFieldMyself · 13/08/2023 22:07

Dontcareforthehaters · 13/08/2023 20:56

What is with the child hating happening at the moment in society. Has it always been there where people have literally zero tolerance around children and toddlers? I definitely think less of people who behave like this.

Perhaps it's because of the parents letting older almost teenage "children" arse about on play equipment that's clearly meant for much younger children.

AndTheSurveySays · 13/08/2023 22:08

Why does it even matter? It's not like she has the power to make wishes come true.

LolaSmiles · 13/08/2023 22:12

Perhaps it's because of the parents letting older almost teenage "children" arse about on play equipment that's clearly meant for much younger children.
This. It isn't child-hating to expect parents to use some common sense in play areas.

lunar1 · 13/08/2023 22:12

Of course she didn't want your child to fall. She wanted him off the equipment meant for younger children and to stop being above them as they played.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 13/08/2023 22:12

WhenIWasAFieldMyself · 13/08/2023 22:07

Perhaps it's because of the parents letting older almost teenage "children" arse about on play equipment that's clearly meant for much younger children.

Show quote history

It’s not always the case though. Just before Easter I was at a play park with my nephew where they had a sort of 4 person car/see saw spin around play toy. A girl who was about 10 was playing for ages with my 5 year old nephew being really kind and patient and playing properly with him and both were having fun on this for a good 20-30
minutes. It was probably just a bit too old for her but she liked it. My SIL was so impressed she jokingly said she’d ask her to babysit.

IreneGoodnight · 13/08/2023 22:14

If I thought a child was in a potentially hazardous situation I'd have gone up and given him a gentle warning. Not nice to say what she said about a youngster.

WhenIWasAFieldMyself · 13/08/2023 22:15

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 13/08/2023 22:12

It’s not always the case though. Just before Easter I was at a play park with my nephew where they had a sort of 4 person car/see saw spin around play toy. A girl who was about 10 was playing for ages with my 5 year old nephew being really kind and patient and playing properly with him and both were having fun on this for a good 20-30
minutes. It was probably just a bit too old for her but she liked it. My SIL was so impressed she jokingly said she’d ask her to babysit.

Show quote history

Of course not. And the girl sounds lovely.
The 12 year old in the OP is described very differently by his own mother so ..

Frisbeeee · 13/08/2023 22:17

I think around 12 is that transitional age for boys where society no longer views them as 'cute kids' and find them intimidating e.g. calling a huddle of boys chatting on the corner of a street 'a gang' etc. I think it's important to explain this perception to them in an age appropriate way as in your DS's mind, he's just a kid playing with his younger siblings but strangers would view his presence in that playground intimidating.

smilesup · 13/08/2023 22:18

Sparkleshine21 · 13/08/2023 21:10

I do wish teenagers would keep off kids parks. I have a very shy autistic six year old and she won’t go near the play park if teenagers are on it, she’s too scared. The play park near us has constantly got teenagers from the surrounding houses on it and I just think…why?!?

My autistic teen has no where else to go and feels safe there as does my non autistic teen. They are both nice kids and it's not the little kids park so I like them being there. They can't go to the pub anymore like I could 😁

Americano75 · 13/08/2023 22:19

Jesus, this site. Only an arsehole would talk like that about a child.

LolaSmiles · 13/08/2023 22:22

GonnaGetGoingReturns
To be fair though that girl didn't sound like she was arsing around on equipment intended for younger children. She was playing in an appropriate way.

I suspect had OP's son been playing in a way that was appropriate for the age of the other children and the equipment, the other person wouldn't have said anything.

Most of us don't notice behaviour of other children at the part unless it stands out for better/worse.

Whattheflipflap · 13/08/2023 22:22

i don’t think she actually meant it
yabu for not telling him to get down.
it doesn’t matter that he’s competent or whatever
hes not using the equipment for it’s purpose, and the upshot of that is usually other kids wanting to copy.
this makes the whole thing difficult for everyone involved
if he wants to use it use it properly
I use climbing frames with DD’s but I wouldn’t fuck about on them.

i imagine it was more about showing the natural consequences of improper use rather than wishing pain or misfortune on your kid.

in future encourage sensible play and you’ll be grand

nonheme · 13/08/2023 22:26

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Sparkleshine21 · 13/08/2023 22:28

@smilesup on a kids play park with baby swings and climbing frame?

holls8 · 13/08/2023 22:28

She has probably experienced older kids injuring her child at places like this and is wary of it happening again, he shouldn't of been in there and you shouldn't of let him. 12 is too old, especially when there are younger kids around. Im assuming the park was designated for younger kids. I can't blame her, I'm pig sick of careless older kids hurting my almost 2 year old (half the time deliberately) and there parents who stand and watch and couldn't give a flying shit so I've got a guard up now and I'm very wary of other peoples kids and I'm not afraid to tell them off since their own parents can't seem to manage it, I would of felt exactly the same as her.