Page 4 | Woman at park wished my son to fall off climbing frame...

justanothermanicm0nday · 2023-08-13T19:05:05+00:00

At a popular theme park this week with my 12 year old son who albeit is prob too old but is appeasing his younger sister and friends. They were playing in the play area between rides. We were sat watching actually inside the park, I was probably 4m from the actual frame. My son has climbed on top of the climbing frame and has just sat on top and is talking to his sister below. He was not doing anything silly albeit he prob shouldn't of been on top of the climbing frame roof bit but wasn't overly high or dangerous to him and he was quite capable. There was a group of women sat next to us. One of the women was getting very agitated about my son being on top, I only caught mid convo but overheard her saying at first "I hope he falls off" which is what caught my attention. She then continued to say how stupid it was and she hoped he fell off and it taught him a lesson etc not just once but over and over. I was a bit shocked tbh, I didn't say anything to her directly as didn't want to cause a scene, I'm not that kind of person but it's really been playing on my mind. Yes the he's being silly bit but the wishing he would fall off, who says that? I don't know why I'm posting this on here either, just to check aibu? Or hoping she may be on here to explain her side to help me see why she wished my son to fall off and hurt himself. (If he was to fall of I doubt he'd of actually hurt himself tbh because it actually wasn't too high)

Lovingitallnow · 14/08/2023 00:22

LolaSmiles · 13/08/2023 21:59

She was being rude and passive aggressive

Equally it's really annoying when parents of children who are too old for the play equipment sit back whilst their children do things that either puts the intended aged children at risk / makes it so the younger children won't want to play fully in the area.

If I had a 12 year old who was too big for the play area and was climbing on the roof of it, I'd be telling them to get down.

This

ittakes2 · 14/08/2023 00:34

Maybe she had Tourette’s

slithytoveisascientist · 14/08/2023 00:47

God my eight year old was on top of a climbing frame the other day. Had a lovely flat roof.

She ended up having a play tea party with what looked like a 5/6 year old and 11/12 year old. On the roof.

Wicked parent here.

Bethanbee · 14/08/2023 00:57

heartfullofpineapple · 13/08/2023 23:26

@Bethanbee - no not having that - a 12 year old is TOTALLY different to a 3 to 9 year old and they should have some social skills (well their parents should). I have parented 5 kids who are now n their 20s-40s and not one of them would have behaved like this. Bemoan lack of play facilities for younger teens (say 10 to 15) but behaviour like that detailed by the OP is both intimidating and entitled I

You are not having that? 😄😄 What are you going to do about the 12 year olds playing in the park then? Are you going to stop them? Not having 12 year olds can playing in parks. You are a hoot.

mariiiaa · 14/08/2023 01:06

She sounds like a bit of a cunt.

I would have told her to mind her own business, pay attention to her own kids and leave mine to me.

mariiiaa · 14/08/2023 01:08

ittakes2 · 14/08/2023 00:34

Maybe she had Tourette’s

😂😂

OhcantthInkofaname · 14/08/2023 01:16

I really couldn't have stopped myself from asking her if she really wanted a child to be hurt. Even if it wasn't my child.

And pay no attention to the "MN mean girl trolls" on here today. If they are offended by posts they should just move on - but they don't. They pile on. It seems they haven't matured.

Oblomov23 · 14/08/2023 01:54

I would've said something.

Sheisthedarkness · 14/08/2023 02:16

When your child is three you think why are there all these big children here taking over the playground. It’s not fair it intimidates my child and they are too old and big, they do silly things, they set a bad example for my child and the playground is not for them.

And then all of a sudden your child is 9, 10 or 12 and you realise they are still very much a child, there is absolutely no where else for them to go. That actually, they still quite like the playground, they just use it differently to a toddler and you feel quite differently about it all.

You see they aren’t being dangerous or intimidating they are just at a hard age. Still a child but judged for doing childhood things and seen as being annoying or inappropriate. Where as in reality they are mostly quite sweet and hanging out with younger siblings. And it hurts if other adults pathologise their behaviour based on perceived age/size rather than recognising there aren’t that many dedicated places for children in our society and it’s maybe not ideal but children across a wide age range have to share them.

electriclight · 14/08/2023 03:23

Of course she didn't want him to fall and injure himself. She was talking privately to a friend and said something that nobody was meant to overhear. All the pp saying that they'd challenge her are being ridiculous. Challenge her on what? She can think what she likes about this child, and say what she likes in a private conversation.

Newuser75 · 14/08/2023 04:27

I'm so surprised at these comments. I can't believe most people think a 12 year old is too old to be climbing on a climbing frame.

I have a tall 10 year old and a 4 year old. They both love to go to the park and play. I think others are right where they say when you have a little one the older ones look so much older and you think they should be acting like x, y or z. They are still kids and are doing what kids do.

AliceOlive · 14/08/2023 04:35

Someone stupid said something stupid?

LolaSmiles · 14/08/2023 06:44

I'm so surprised at these comments. I can't believe most people think a 12 year old is too old to be climbing on a climbing frame
I don't think a 12 year old is too old for a climbing frame.

The OP says herself her DC was probably too old for the area. In situations where a child is older than the area is intended for, I'd expect them to be playing in a way that's appropriate for the younger children.

There's a couple of parks near me. One has larger structures and is regularly played on by older children. Another the structures are more like lower KS2 by design, with some smaller ones for those under 7. A 12 year old in the first park is unlikely to be noticed and a 12 year old playing on the equipment with their siblings in the second is unlikely to be noticed. A 12 year old in the second, who is sitting on the roof where most of the children are 2-8 is going to get noticed.

WhenIWasAFieldMyself · 14/08/2023 07:05

mariiiaa · 14/08/2023 01:06

She sounds like a bit of a cunt.

I would have told her to mind her own business, pay attention to her own kids and leave mine to me.

It would have been nice if the OP had been doing that.

ittakes2 · 14/08/2023 07:05

mariiiaa · 14/08/2023 01:08

😂😂

Show quote history

Actually I was being serious - I have ocd and Tourette’s is on the same spectrum - I suggested this because it’s unusual she was repeating what she said. Most people make a comment once or twice but not repeatedly.

WhenIWasAFieldMyself · 14/08/2023 07:07

OhcantthInkofaname · 14/08/2023 01:16

I really couldn't have stopped myself from asking her if she really wanted a child to be hurt. Even if it wasn't my child.

And pay no attention to the "MN mean girl trolls" on here today. If they are offended by posts they should just move on - but they don't. They pile on. It seems they haven't matured.

Do you mean the posters calling the woman a "cunt" etc or the people questioning why the OP (who knew, and said so herself, that her son shouldn't have been where he was, doing what he was doing) didn't step up and tell him to move?

Busubaba · 14/08/2023 07:42

I Imagine she has a younger child and was worried that the younger children might want to copy him.

Quite nasty to wish him to fall off and at 12 he is still of an age to play.

I would have said something to her.

aSofaNearYou · 14/08/2023 08:04

Sheisthedarkness · 14/08/2023 02:16

When your child is three you think why are there all these big children here taking over the playground. It’s not fair it intimidates my child and they are too old and big, they do silly things, they set a bad example for my child and the playground is not for them.

And then all of a sudden your child is 9, 10 or 12 and you realise they are still very much a child, there is absolutely no where else for them to go. That actually, they still quite like the playground, they just use it differently to a toddler and you feel quite differently about it all.

You see they aren’t being dangerous or intimidating they are just at a hard age. Still a child but judged for doing childhood things and seen as being annoying or inappropriate. Where as in reality they are mostly quite sweet and hanging out with younger siblings. And it hurts if other adults pathologise their behaviour based on perceived age/size rather than recognising there aren’t that many dedicated places for children in our society and it’s maybe not ideal but children across a wide age range have to share them.

I take this point, other than the bit about realising that older children aren't doing anything intimidating or dangerous. They often ARE, they just aren't doing it on purpose. That doesn't change the fact that older children and younger children sharing a space does put the younger children at constant risk of being slammed into by a much bigger child that isn't paying attention - their unruly nature is a risk to the younger kids whether they are sweet and there's nowhere else for them to go or not.

aSofaNearYou · 14/08/2023 08:06

electriclight · 14/08/2023 03:23

Of course she didn't want him to fall and injure himself. She was talking privately to a friend and said something that nobody was meant to overhear. All the pp saying that they'd challenge her are being ridiculous. Challenge her on what? She can think what she likes about this child, and say what she likes in a private conversation.

I agree with this.

This is a turn of phrase - it's something people frequently say and probably don't really mean. It's along the lines of "it would serve them right", it's just a way of expressing disapproval.

I don't think it's something to get worked up about.

Original poster

justanothermanicm0nday · 14/08/2023 09:45

I think the children had a much better change of being hurt by for example one 5/6 year old who was running up the slide, or another younger child bumping into them then my son falling off. He was sat down, had he of been being silly running or jumping etc up there I would of of course told him to get down but he was just sat and I thought no harm there. As every parent does you risk assess everything you do. He's also year 6, he's not 12 for another couple of months. So yes def of a still innocent age. I mean he spent the whole day going on rides with a 4 year old. It's a climbing frame that's multi level designed like a rocket, with a flat roof on top of the climbing tower, there is then another flat roof onto the big above the slide so it was all enclosed hence why I said another child wouldn't of see. Him above as they would of been inside iyswim.

OP posts:

KarmaStar · 14/08/2023 11:17

How many thousands of posts where people never say anything at the time then post on mn when they get home??
Perhaps a thread saying I spoke up for myself would be good??😂😂
And yes I do but what I say is not for here.😂

fitzwilliamdarcy · 14/08/2023 11:25

OP what did you hope to achieve with this thread? You don’t think you were unreasonable but have posted on AIBU and asked others for their view. Now you’re arguing with them.

For what it’s worth I think it’s unpleasant to wish for karmic consequences on a child but you said yourself that he probably shouldn’t have been there and that you were only OK with it because you know he’s capable - she doesn’t know that so isn’t OK with it.

elenacampana · 14/08/2023 11:39

justanothermanicm0nday · 13/08/2023 22:34

He wasn't arsing around, hadn't been running round the play park etc, just before that he was helping his sister climbing up to get to a slide. I am a strict parent not one of those parents that just let the child run riot so if he was doing anything I would of pulled him up on it, he knew it was a park for little ones. He had climbed to the top, there were lots of kids on the climbing frame so no one was scared of him and tbh that's a bit judgy not going on equipment just because a teenager is on there most I find are fine and courteous when I take my daughter out. The climbing frame had a roof so kids climbing inside etc wouldn't of even seen him only if you were standing back like we were or saw him climb up. He was literally sitting in the same place didn't move wasn't doing anything just talking to his sister

He shouldn’t have been up there. You allowed him somewhere he shouldn’t have been because you felt in some way entitled to it, you are one of those parents.

Northernladdette · 14/08/2023 13:09

If a child hurts themselves whilst not playing with play park equipment it’s their own fault. Whether it be sitting on the roof or running up the slide. You should have told him to get down 🙄

FarmGirl78 · 14/08/2023 13:52

SpamFrittersYouSay · 13/08/2023 20:27

You said yourself that he shouldn't have been there, why didn't you tell him to come down?
Maybe his presence there intimidated younger children.

Having a much larger child sitting ontop of the roof of a children's playground can be intimidating to even the adults present, let alone the children. Even doing nothing, just sitting there it would have made me feel nervous in an intimidating way.....(I realise this is probably over anxious, but for me it's the very (very!) thin end of the edge of having to walk through a group of teenagers on a street corner). Being on the roof is clearly not what it's meant for, so if a child has no regard for generally accepted unspoken rules of small children's play equipment I'd be getting twitchy he'd jump off or inconsiderately slither down and land on or hurt either child. From her point of view he's being irresponsible, and worse still he must be without a parent because there's no-one stepping up to say "Oi DS, what do you think your doing? Get off that roof NOW!". She wouldn't be actually hoping he'd get hurt, but more likely hoping he'd hear and think "That adult is cross with me. Maybe she's got a point and it's wrong for me to be up here, and this isn't a good idea".

Everyone has different ideas of what's reasonable behaviour for children in public. IMHO smaller children playing there would have been intimidated by a big boy sitting on top of the roof. Its awful being a little kid and feeling scared like that. You could and should have stepped up to prevent that. By not doing that you handed the choice to someone else to respond, and they did so differently to how you would have done.