To not want my kids to drink mocktails or AF beer?

[Thesenderofthiscard]

On holiday with grp of friends - oldest kids are 13, youngest 8.
the 5 teens have been asking for ‘mocktails’ when we’re out at cafes/ restaurants- Virgin bloody Mary’s, Virgin mojitos - and now the little one want them too.

I’m REALLY uncomfortable with this- Have said no to my teen so now I’m the worst parent in the world. I’m not happy with the normalising of drinking = fun or being ‘grown up’ at this age.
ine of the dad’s told me in need to get real, and for an AF beer for his 13 old son.
I ask him if he’d let his son have a ‘fake’ vale or cigarette and all he’ll broke lose.

oh, and not to mention these drinks are €8/10 a pop as they’re meant for no- drinking adults

YABU - lighten up! Let them feel like grown ups

YANBU - They’re too young to be pretending to drink.

Yes, it's just a word to use so it sounds good on menus. It's non alcoholic fruit punch that is all.

'OP is confusing matters by talking about her hypothetical 16/17 not being allowed a drink due to the fact they are still growing/developing.'

I don't think I am 'confusing' matters - I'm responding to many of the comments about how they'd be happy for their children to be consuming alcohol at this age.
I wouldn't be 'allowing' it ( enabling it with buying them booze) because yes, their bodies and brains are very much growing/developing, not to mention the fact that alcohol is a depressant and as teens I'm sure they'll have enough to be worried about/anxious about/stressed about with chucking a depressant into the mix.

That's how I feel though, other parents maybe all - it's fun and we need to let them 'get used to' drinking alcohol now like it's some kind of training programme...

And I am aware that just because I would prefer they didn't do it doesn't mean they won't.

My ex was an alcoholic and I understand your lack of enthusiasm. Glamourising alcohol is stupid.

But €8 for a child's drink is ludicrous. What happened to the CoL crisis?

‘But €8 for a child's drink is ludicrous. What happened to the CoL crisis?’

Agreed - but just to be clear, these drinks aren’t aimed at children. They aren’t on a kids menu- they’re on the adults drinks menu under ‘sin -alcohol’ so clearly meant for non-drinking adults who want something a bit fancier than a coke.
Soft drinks were on another menu entirely.

You are so weirdly aggressive on this thread. I think the fact that so many people disagree with you has got you very worked up.

In your hypothetical pub landlord situation, sounds like you wouldn't want me there and I wouldn't want to be there, so that's all good. Although as someone else has said, a proper understanding of actual licensing laws seems like a good idea if you do ever become one.

Like several PP said, I don't know why you started this thread, since you're so sure you're right. Or were you just looking for a place to argue about it, because the people you're with don't want to hear it anymore?
In any case, mocktais do not taste like cocktails because there's no alcohol, but you know that perfectly well.

Zero beer and wine is not allowed to be sold to U18’s in the UK, so there is a real possibility of the DC bragging about drinking “mocktails” on holiday, which might get you royally judged by the DC’s teachers and the other parents when they are back at school!

“Mocktails “, Zero beer and wine, that was meant to say!

@Anyotherdude Well, hopefully my one DC who had one tat he paid for won't cos his mates would think he's a dimwit for spending so much money on a drink!

' I don't know why you started this thread, since you're so sure you're right.'

This always make's me laugh - when someone with an opposing POV to the OP comes on to say this - why do ANY AIBUs exists then??
There's all sorts of opinions on here, do we shut down all conversation when an OP isn't particularly convince by counter POVs?
If you'd have paid any attention, you'll have seen that we did let DC have a 'mocktail' that they paid for.
Wasn't a big deal, the thought it a waste of money.

They were my favourite. I have never smoked. You can still buy them, called candy sticks now - minus the red 'lit' and cigarette box. I am old enough to remember the fake rolling tobacco in a pouch. It was tobacco coloured shredded coconut.

It's your rules for your kids but I don't think it's a case of neglect or 'all hell broke loose' over a few curiosity holiday drinks.

I broadly agree with the OP and I have not seen any compelling arguments that would change my mind here.
Yes, I'd be relaxed about the occasional mocktail (if not marketed directly to adults) and certainly couldn't care less if other parents were buying them for DC. But AF beer? Beer is an acquired taste and I'd rather they did not acquire that between the ages of 8 and 13.

I sure as hell won't be buying my still growing/developing children alcohol at that age. All it show's is how F'up our attitude to alcohol really is.

You don't have to. They'll buy their own. And it would be anything civilized like a glass of wine. It will be White Ace, Amber Jack or similar shit.

On the other hand, i'm not keen at alcohol being presented as some sort of "adult privilege" that primary aged children would want to emulate.

I'm always surprised on MN at how keen posters regularly are to lump teenagers into one heaving, hive-minded homogeneous lump.

Some young people/kids will be desperate to try boozing. Others won't. There will be a whole range in between. All of those kids will have had different experiences around adult influence, trust, autonomy, alcohol etc.

My parents bloody loved wine. My sibling was given wine at 14; I rejected it completely, even though there was no negativity particularly - I just wasn't interested. I didn't drink until my 20's.

I work with teenagers. One of the things I'm regularly told that they hate is having a bunch of assumptions thrust on them. Not all teenagers drink. Not all teenagers want to drink.

The insistence from some posters that all teenagers are the same/will get booze from anywhere they can/are desperate to get pissed - for me - is probably a factor in why we go on having a fairly fucked up relationship with alcohol in this country.

Teacher here, we won't bar an eyelid at a mocktail

'I'm always surprised on MN at how keen posters regularly are to lump teenagers into one heaving, hive-minded homogeneous lump.'

Yup. My parents were very boozy when I was a kid, I didn't touch alcohol til I was at Uni - and then managed to not go mad on it as people here have suggested happens when teens aren't trained early on booze! -

Most of my friends didn't really drink at all either - partly because it was really hard to get hold of booze when we were teens - there were no 'cool' parents supplying beers for parties and kids weren't in pubs full stop. Our off licences were strictly over 21 only to purchase alcohol ( legal drinking age was 18).

No parents was recommending letting 15/16/17 year olds drink alcohol in some kind of prep for adulthood.

But of course there were the kids at school who managed to get hold of booze or got some no-mark to go to the offy for them...

Teens come in all shapes and sizes, and one of the things that stood out to me in some training we had a work about teens in school and alcohol and substance abuse was the fact that it was happening a LOT less than people think. The kids were all claiming to other teens that they drank booze or 'partied' etc but the reality was very different.