Page 16 | To not want my kids to drink mocktails or AF beer?

Thesenderofthiscard · 2023-08-13T09:39:25+00:00

On holiday with grp of friends - oldest kids are 13, youngest 8. the 5 teens have been asking for ‘mocktails’ when we’re out at cafes/ restaurants- Virgin bloody Mary’s, Virgin mojitos - and now the little one want them too. I’m REALLY uncomfortable with this- Have said no to my teen so now I’m the worst parent in the world. I’m not happy with the normalising of drinking = fun or being ‘grown up’ at this age. ine of the dad’s told me in need to get real, and for an AF beer for his 13 old son. I ask him if he’d let his son have a ‘fake’ vale or cigarette and all he’ll broke lose. oh, and not to mention these drinks are €8/10 a pop as they’re meant for no- drinking adults YABU - lighten up! Let them feel like grown ups YANBU - They’re too young to be pretending to drink.

Original poster

Thesenderofthiscard · 15/08/2023 10:39

'not illegal for a 16 or 17 year old to have certain alcoholic drinks with a meal in a restaurant, as long as it's bought by an adult?'

I sure as hell won't be buying my still growing/developing children alcohol at that age. All it show's is how F'up our attitude to alcohol really is.

OP posts:

NotAMug · 15/08/2023 10:50

depressionpitofdoom · 15/08/2023 08:32

Our policy is think 21 - its on my work uniform and my badge, as well as the posters around the bar. Its also down to the licence that the restaurant holds. The restaurant I work in WILL land me a £10k fine and possible prison sentence if I am caught serving anyone under 18. I have done multiple training modules on this. I know my job but I'm sure you are one of the MANY people who kick off at the person refusing to serve someone without ID because you know their job better than they do and you don't really care that they can't afford to lose their job by going against the rules either.

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16 year olds are allowed beer, wine or cider with a meal if bought by an adult. (I hold a licence myself). It may be your works policy but its not the law.

Irrelevant to the OP though really.

NewNovember · 15/08/2023 10:51

Thesenderofthiscard · 15/08/2023 10:39

'not illegal for a 16 or 17 year old to have certain alcoholic drinks with a meal in a restaurant, as long as it's bought by an adult?'

I sure as hell won't be buying my still growing/developing children alcohol at that age. All it show's is how F'up our attitude to alcohol really is.

If you never allow your 16/17 to have alcohol ever they will have a messed up attitude towards it.
You are very naive if you think they won't drink behind your back by that age. It's far better to allow a them to drink small amounts with family.

NewNovember · 15/08/2023 10:55

@depressionpitofdoom you can't serve 16/17 year olds alcohol but it's legal to serve their parents wine beer or cider for the young person to drink at your restaurant. Maybe that's why you are confused thinking people know your job better than you because they do.

NotAMug · 15/08/2023 10:56

Thesenderofthiscard · 15/08/2023 10:39

'not illegal for a 16 or 17 year old to have certain alcoholic drinks with a meal in a restaurant, as long as it's bought by an adult?'

I sure as hell won't be buying my still growing/developing children alcohol at that age. All it show's is how F'up our attitude to alcohol really is.

It sounds like you have a fucked up attitude to alcohol to be honest. The odd beer with a meal at 16/17 won't be affecting their development 🙄 My 17 yo is allowed to drink, he mostly chooses not to but may have 1 or 2 ciders. Occasionally he has more but is always sensible, there will likely be occasions when he's not but he'll learn from them.

They will be drinking behind your back if you have a blanket ban and getting into awful states IMO (and IME). Also after 18 they are not fully developed so will you ban it till they're 25? Or as they will be 18 do you think they miraculously become sensible without alcohol.

Mugaloaf · 15/08/2023 11:36

I wouldn't give a non alcoholic beer to a child. Definitely not.

No problem with a mocktail though.

I kind of get what you mean, but I have never thought about it that way. I just see it as fruit juice.

Do whatever you feel comfortable with.

Original poster

Thesenderofthiscard · 15/08/2023 11:42

‘It sounds like you have a fucked up attitude to alcohol to be honest.’

So I have a fucked in attitude to alcohol because I’ve said I don’t want to buy my kids booze when they’re still under age at 16!
I AM the one with a fucked in attitude???

Maybe take a look in the mirror???

I didn’t drink until I was 19 and a t Uni. Wasn’t fussed to. And when I did start going to pins and drinking then, I didn’t go mental, didn’t go wild or whatever some people are suggesting happens if - heaven forbid- you don’t ‘practice’ drinking underage.

OP posts:

LouHey · 15/08/2023 11:50

Definitely not being unreasonable! Our drinking culture is ridiculous and kids shouldn't be exposed to it.

GingerIsBest · 15/08/2023 12:13

OP, you do what works for you sure.

But I have to say that I agree with other posters that refusing to allow your child a small beer or cider or glass of wine at 16, which is perfectly legal, is unlikely to lead to them never drinking or overindulging. And if they're going to a friend's house where it's allowed, they're going to feel like right mugs if you've told the parents they can't. You can enlist in the army at 16 in this country... seems a bit ridiculous that you don't think it's okay to have the odd beer.

depressionpitofdoom · 15/08/2023 12:20

NewNovember · 15/08/2023 10:55

@depressionpitofdoom you can't serve 16/17 year olds alcohol but it's legal to serve their parents wine beer or cider for the young person to drink at your restaurant. Maybe that's why you are confused thinking people know your job better than you because they do.

No I cannot serve their parents either, if we see an under 18 drinking alcohol (or someone who looks under 21 and cannot produce ID) we have to take that drink away and will take it off the bill but by proxy sales are not allowed either.

GingerIsBest · 15/08/2023 12:42

@depressionpitofdoom I think I'll avoid your establishment! Nothing annoys me more than the nanny state kicking in, irrationally, when I am doing something perfectly legal. Just like I have never gone back to the pub that refused to serve my pregnant friend a shandy.

AncientBallerina · 15/08/2023 13:03

At about 15/16 I’d let them have one as a treat maybe but I don’t think it’s a good look really. I was far too lax with my eldest over alcohol during COVID which I deeply regret. She was 16 but not able for it at all. The thing about teaching kids to drink sensibly at home is rubbish. Mocktails are adult drinks and AF beer are adult drinks. Normalising very young teens to drink these in nations that have serious alcohol problems is not a great idea.

EarthlyNightshade · 15/08/2023 13:08

GingerIsBest · 15/08/2023 12:42

@depressionpitofdoom I think I'll avoid your establishment! Nothing annoys me more than the nanny state kicking in, irrationally, when I am doing something perfectly legal. Just like I have never gone back to the pub that refused to serve my pregnant friend a shandy.

Lots of places don't allow 16 year olds to drink even with food.
It's easier for an establishment to just say no than to risk losing their licence for serving an under age person by accident.
I'm ok with my 16 year old not drinking every time we go out, so would not be avoiding establishments for this reason.
I'd be annoyed about not serving a pregnant woman a shandy if they wanted one - that's none of their business and I would probably report them.

SkySecret · 15/08/2023 13:26

Thesenderofthiscard · 15/08/2023 10:39

'not illegal for a 16 or 17 year old to have certain alcoholic drinks with a meal in a restaurant, as long as it's bought by an adult?'

I sure as hell won't be buying my still growing/developing children alcohol at that age. All it show's is how F'up our attitude to alcohol really is.

Well, I don’t envy you once they get to rebellion age 😂

so glad I didn’t have a parent like you 😫

SillyOldBucket · 15/08/2023 13:42

I think its acceptable for the teen to have a mocktail but if it were me, I would emphasise that its a one-off treat due to the expense

GingerIsBest · 15/08/2023 14:02

EarthlyNightshade · 15/08/2023 13:08

Lots of places don't allow 16 year olds to drink even with food.
It's easier for an establishment to just say no than to risk losing their licence for serving an under age person by accident.
I'm ok with my 16 year old not drinking every time we go out, so would not be avoiding establishments for this reason.
I'd be annoyed about not serving a pregnant woman a shandy if they wanted one - that's none of their business and I would probably report them.

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Lots of places don't allow 16 year olds to drink even with food.
It's easier for an establishment to just say no than to risk losing their licence for serving an under age person by accident.

Sure, but if it turns out that my 16 year old DOES want a beer when we're out as a family for lunch, and I am okay with that, then I personally will choose establishments who apply the rules based on the actual law that suits the preferences of me and my family.

As for the pregnant thing, as most of us know, there's an astonishing willingness to tell pregnant women what they can and can't do. I luckily did not have anyone in a shop or restaurant ever give me a hard time, but I was a bit bemused by a man who practically rugby tackled me across the table when I ordered a coke, "there's a lot of caffeine in that you know" he said as he attempted to remove the coke from me.

NotAMug · 15/08/2023 14:07

Thesenderofthiscard · 15/08/2023 11:42

‘It sounds like you have a fucked up attitude to alcohol to be honest.’

So I have a fucked in attitude to alcohol because I’ve said I don’t want to buy my kids booze when they’re still under age at 16!
I AM the one with a fucked in attitude???

Maybe take a look in the mirror???

I didn’t drink until I was 19 and a t Uni. Wasn’t fussed to. And when I did start going to pins and drinking then, I didn’t go mental, didn’t go wild or whatever some people are suggesting happens if - heaven forbid- you don’t ‘practice’ drinking underage.

They are not under age at 16. It is perfectly legal for a beer with their meal. You're literally making things up.

JussathoB · 15/08/2023 14:08

ages 13-8 are very young to be drinking anything that even looks like alcohol. I was under the impression that in a pub, you have to show ID to buy alcohol free beer? Alcohol free beers are not aimed at children.
im not sure what the law is regarding restaurants but I would be surprised if they are supposed to be serving children alcohol free beer.

NotAMug · 15/08/2023 14:10

EarthlyNightshade · 15/08/2023 13:08

Lots of places don't allow 16 year olds to drink even with food.
It's easier for an establishment to just say no than to risk losing their licence for serving an under age person by accident.
I'm ok with my 16 year old not drinking every time we go out, so would not be avoiding establishments for this reason.
I'd be annoyed about not serving a pregnant woman a shandy if they wanted one - that's none of their business and I would probably report them.

Show quote history

Mine very rarely would ask for a drink if we were in restaurant but for instance on his birthday he had a couple of friends with us too and he had one then. We wouldn't decide to not go somewhere if they refused to serve 16/17 yos. Its not a big deal to us either.

NotAMug · 15/08/2023 14:13

JussathoB · 15/08/2023 14:08

ages 13-8 are very young to be drinking anything that even looks like alcohol. I was under the impression that in a pub, you have to show ID to buy alcohol free beer? Alcohol free beers are not aimed at children.
im not sure what the law is regarding restaurants but I would be surprised if they are supposed to be serving children alcohol free beer.

Mocktails don't look like alcohol, they look like fruit juice. We have always grown up thinking mocktails are drinks for kids and cocktails for adults. Obv if I was driving I may have a mocktail I guess but more likely to have a coke or something cheap. AF beer I agree is not for kids.

Whataretheodds · 15/08/2023 14:16

doroda · 13/08/2023 10:50

It's like when people give toddlers babyccinos, a real slippery slope to them developing a serious caffeine addiction.

It's certainly a slippery slope to spending £4 on a hot drink

LaDamaDeElche · 15/08/2023 14:20

I was drinking non alcoholic cocktails on holiday when I was 6, and that was in the 80’s. They looked really cooL and tasted lovely. I really don’t see an issue. Kids drinking alcohol free beer is a bit weird though. They must have to train themselves to like the taste.

Kellyread · 15/08/2023 14:41

Ok love! 🙄

SkySecret · 15/08/2023 14:42

Thesenderofthiscard · 15/08/2023 11:42

‘It sounds like you have a fucked up attitude to alcohol to be honest.’

So I have a fucked in attitude to alcohol because I’ve said I don’t want to buy my kids booze when they’re still under age at 16!
I AM the one with a fucked in attitude???

Maybe take a look in the mirror???

I didn’t drink until I was 19 and a t Uni. Wasn’t fussed to. And when I did start going to pins and drinking then, I didn’t go mental, didn’t go wild or whatever some people are suggesting happens if - heaven forbid- you don’t ‘practice’ drinking underage.

Not sure why you asked the question if you didn’t want responses? 😬

SkySecret · 15/08/2023 14:44

Hit post and can’t seem to edit ….

the point isn’t “practicing” drinking, the point is if your kid is interested in trying alcohol in their early teens and you’re just saying “no, no, no” all the time they will simply do it behind your back. And it will be more of a thrill because you’ve made it taboo.

Much safer for you to be there while they have one bottle of alchopop at 14 than them being handed a litre of vodka by their mates on the park!