To not want my kids to drink mocktails or AF beer?

[Thesenderofthiscard]

On holiday with grp of friends - oldest kids are 13, youngest 8.
the 5 teens have been asking for ‘mocktails’ when we’re out at cafes/ restaurants- Virgin bloody Mary’s, Virgin mojitos - and now the little one want them too.

I’m REALLY uncomfortable with this- Have said no to my teen so now I’m the worst parent in the world. I’m not happy with the normalising of drinking = fun or being ‘grown up’ at this age.
ine of the dad’s told me in need to get real, and for an AF beer for his 13 old son.
I ask him if he’d let his son have a ‘fake’ vale or cigarette and all he’ll broke lose.

oh, and not to mention these drinks are €8/10 a pop as they’re meant for no- drinking adults

YABU - lighten up! Let them feel like grown ups

YANBU - They’re too young to be pretending to drink.

I think it’s a lot more complicated than this. Some kids will drink vodka in the park no matter how lax or otherwise their parents are. Some won’t drink at all in either circumstance. IMHO from experience with my own and other teens it’s much more dependent on the personality of the child, the crowd they hang out with, the circumstances they find themselves in. Teens will do the oh so sophisticated glass of wine at dinner and then get wrecked in the park if that’s their inclination.

Don't forget licorice bootlaces, I used to love them but I've never actually eaten a bootlace.

False dilemma there

Its a holiday. We do that on hol and none of the kids expect it at home. Im suprised the teens arent pushing for alcohol tbh. They are expensive so limit it. Cannot see the issue. If you think a mocktail on hol is normalising what happens all over the uk daily, well i dont know what else to say.

Spot on!

Much safer for you to be there while they have one bottle of alchopop at 14 than them being handed a litre of vodka by their mates on the park!

If a kid gets a smirnoff ice at home, they'll say no to the vodka at the park when their mates are drinking? 😅

?

Is that what I said? No it isn’t lol.

if alcohol is made a taboo, and they are restricted from it, they’ll be drinking behind your back. If they get into a pickle when drinking they’re not going to come to you for fear of a b0ll0cking.

by allowing some exposure to alcohol, it’s takes away that mystery and also means they’re more likely to be honest with you about where they are and what they’re doing.

friend of mine has a 16 ur old son who got his 16 yo gf pregnant. The girl didn’t tell her parents as they’re so strict with her. My friend supported her through an abortion as her responsible adult as the kids trust her and are open with her. If she’d be a control freak as well who knows where they’d have ended up?

no need to be a total buzzkill with your kids. Just educate them.

See my response above this, I’m not typing it again 😂

seen it time and again, the repressed kids go off the rails, lie, get secretive…. ALL teens will drink. But wouldn’t you want them to be honest with you?…

‘Lots of places don't allow 16 year olds to drink even with food.’

yeah, no kidding. I have yet to be in a U.K. restaurant or bar and seen 16 year olds sitting at a table drinking a glass of wine with Sunday lunch ( as far as I’m aware…) our entire city is Challenge 25 now thanks to a council crack down a few years ago, and it’s really not worth a pub/ restaurant risking their licence so a child can have alcohol.

And if I was a landlord and some MC parent started telling me it was legal for their child to have a glass of wine with their food when we’ve said, sorry 18+’and show me their ID - I’d Chuck them out and be glad to see the back of them

‘friend of mine has a 16 ur old son who got his 16 yo gf pregnant. The girl didn’t tell her parents as they’re so strict with her.’

Hands down the fucking nuttiest defence of allowing under age drinking I’ve ever heard!
So, I’m not happy with DS, 13, drinking ‘fake’ beer that looks and tastes like beer or mocktails that pretty much look, taste and are marketed as cocktails - so the natural conclusion to this is he’s stupid enough to get a girl pregnant in a few years??

If anything teen drinking leads to more teen pregnancy, sensible stuff like safe sex goes out the window for many adults when we’re pissed, more so for kids.

it might be hard to fathom, but it is possible to be a parent who doesn’t like the idea of their young teen getting drunk or drinking and yet still be supportive, talk about alcohol and drugs, safe sex, sex in general, and be very open with them.

Why ? A mock tail is juice. An af beer is a pop

I’ll pass on seeing your previous response but I’m sure I’d be crying with laughter too 👀
i don’t know where you got the idea that my kids aren’t honest with me. If anything I get too much information and have witnessed far too much teenage drunkenness. I’ve already stayed upthread that I was too lax around alcohol at home with a teen and that I regret it. Kids need boundaries and an age appropriate attitude to alcohol from their parents. Mocktails and AF beer at 13 isn’t it. The alcohol companies are having an absolute field day with advertising alcohol free beers (with virtually identical branding to those containing alcohol) in sports and other venues. It’s insidious. We have a huge alcohol problem on these islands and normalising alcohol-like to drinks to young teens is not going to help.

‘Im suprised the teens arent pushing for alcohol tbh. ‘

they weren’t ‘pushing’ for alcohol because the eldest are 13! Or am I boring/ uptight/ need to unclench etc etc now because I’m not offering shots to children???

They aren't risking their licence, I am a licence holder, it is completely legal to sell beer, wine or cider for a 16/17 year old to have with their meal, there are specific rules around it, this is where the original 'substantial meal' wording came from that was quoted when people could go back to pubs after lockdown, all pub/restaurant owners knew exactly what this meant as its been in their licences for years, it was only the general public questioning what it meant (scotch egg!). You have to sell it to the over 18 yo they are with, not to them, it is illegal to sell alcohol to U18s, not illegal for them to consume it.

You don't have to want your 16/17 yos to drink but you can't make up the law to suit your own agenda.

The teen is 13 so probably not pushing for alcohol as they are so young.

OP is confusing matters by talking about her hypothetical 16/17 not being allowed a drink due to the fact they are still growing/developing.

If you’re not even going to read a response when quoting someone then don’t bother replying at all. I won’t bother to read yours in full either then, shan’t waste my time.

I wasn’t talking about your kids, my comments are in response to what the OP posted, really couldn’t give two craps about you or your kids tbh!

what the hell are you snorting?

please point out exactly where I commented about YOUR son being stupid or getting his gf pregnant? Ffs woman, try reading instead of just ranting because people don’t agree with you.

it was an example of a parent being ott strict (the way you’re coming across) leading to their daughter not turning to them when she was in a pretty crappy situation! That’s where you’re headed - kids that won’t come to you when they need help because of how negative you are towards things.

This

Aren't mocktails just a newer version of fruit cup or fruit punch, which have been served at children's and family parties for decades?

@NotAMug Out of genuine interest - how many times a day/week do you have parents buying alcohol for their 16/17 year old at your place?

The mocktails wouldn't bother me it is fruit juice, I would limit them though due to cost. AF beer makes me uncomfortable seeing children drink it, that's not what it's for. It's for adults who enjoy beer but don't want alcohol

I don't have a place, I said I was a licence holder. I have a private licence for events so I understand licencing laws.

My son has probably had a single alcoholic drink in a pub with a meal in the last 18 months maybe 2 or 3 times. When I worked in restaurants the owners were always of course very strict on licencing laws but ensured we all understood them rather than just having blanket bans of stuff because they couldn't be bothered to understand it/monitor it.

I would allow a 16/17 year old to have a small glass of wine or beer with a meal in a restaurant