To find this email rude

[Holdme700]

It’s from a supported living manager to a service user. Aibu to think this isn’t the way to do with service users?

The tone is abrupt and there are definitely things in there that come across as unprofessional (especially 'Enough is enough!') but I think the points made in it are valid - if I have understood correctly, why would the recipient of the email be sending views and opinions of the organisation from those who have nothing to do with said organisation? And in terms of directing their upset / concerns to the people directly responsible for handling them, that seems logical to me.

As others have said, it's one of those email responses that I would have drafted and not sent immediately, but come back to and edited after I had calmed down.

I can’t believe that this sort of communication is being condoned. The UK currently has a reputation for being an absolute shithole, with the vast majority of the general public incapable of basic civility so in all fairness, I’m not surprised at some of the responses.

Nobody who had a need to access these for of services is going to be in the best of places, so if the person receiving the emails can’t separate their emotions from the job at hand, they’re in the wrong job.

Besides that, anyone with an ounce of initiative would engage the correct team to deal with whatever the issue is, instead puts it back on the ‘service user’ of whatever they are called, who clearly lacks capacity. Talk about the bare minimum. Must be a council run service or something. OP has disappeared so I suppose we will never know.

I’m guessing all polite emails were being ignored, it’s basic and rude but if it finally gets the point across. It sounds like the manager is being badgered with a lot of emails comprised of uninformed opinions.

Rude . And not the way to respond to anyone .

That's awful and completely unacceptable! A service user's views are exactly who the organisation should be listening to.

It's an assisted living facility, so presumably the person is vulnerable in some way. People visiting them (like family,carers , social workers etc) might also have concerns about the same thing and/or share their opinion. It makes perfect sense to add that in if other people have noticed an issue or it inconveniences them in some way.

What's not clear is if the manager can actually sort the problem .

So you'd be happy to receive this email from your child's headteacher, the police, your council, your GP practice,your lawyer etc?

I doubt anyone would be "happy" to receive it, but a lot depends on the previous interactions. This response sounds very much like the sender has been the subject of harassment. It's not how I would have responded, but I'm capable of understanding that there is likely a bit of frustration involved.

It’s intentionally firm. It’s actually a polite “f* off”.

Yet 'family, carers. social workers' are 'material stakeholders', as the person who sent this email phrases it, in an assisted living facility - they may not be internal stakeholders but they are external stakeholders.

It comes across as if this manager knows this and is saying that the opinions being quoted are not from relevant stakeholders to this assisted living facility.

It's rude, yes, but what else can you do if you've already politely asked the sender to stop sending emails multiple times? The only alternative is to block them, which is equally rude (and will probably just make them send the same emails to another address).

Exactly @Hayley0203 - it appears that the service user has been sending multiple emails to several addresses already

Sounds like the writer of the email is fucked off. We need the entire back story. And popcorn.

I think I've changed my mind as I read the email being from someone who isn't really connected to the provision this person is living in and so is saying don't email me about something that isn't to do with me. But now I see it is a provision they manage (i think) , so actually although I understand the frustration of the emailer I do think it crosses the line and is ill considered.

Sounds like the other party is not getting the hint and the registered manager is now making it clear they need to desist from sending emails. Yes it might be a little rude but some people are too stupid to understand nicely nicely responses.

This.
If this has been sent to one of my service users/their relatives I would have wanted to know about it. A) because it shows that someone two layers of promotion up is unable to respond civilly, thus demonstrating poor ability to separate emotions that we may all feel in challenging situations and acceptable professional responses and b) are unable to identify more appropriate ways to respond, including but not limited bringing in social work to have a round table or separate discussion of the issues, and an agreed response to further contact that doesn’t involve rudeness. It also raises questions about how they are modelling respect to service users or families when managing their staff.

Even more importantly I would have wanted to know because if multiple people have concerns about a service provision then there may be questions to be looked at about the appropriateness of the setting for the person or indeed the service itself - the only way we hear about most concerns is when they are raised by family or other involved parties, rarely by service users themselves.

I hope this helps the OP from a professional perspective.

It really doesn't make a lot of sense. Do they just mean stfu. Sounds like it.

This is the kind of email I daydream about sending to select colleagues.

It's direct but without the back story it's not possible to say whether it's rude.

We don’t know what the email is replying to, it could be some as simple as my cousins boyfriend said you shouldn’t employ gay people.
that does warrant a rude email.

I once had the spouse of the equivalent of a service user harass me by email. They stooped to personal insult ('you may think you're the alpha female here, but you're wrong' & 'you WILL listen to me, and actually tell me something with your florid language'!) They would email 5, 6, 7 times a day, including on weekends and public holidays.
I was screaming inside, and wanted to shout FUCK OFF!! at them, but my work is subject to review by the public services ombudsman. So, i remained the very picture of reasonableness, and polite but firm. Eventually the Chief Exec wrote to them, and told them I had a case for harassment. They stopped.
But they did email me on New Year's Day, a few months later. It was not a message of joy.

It's an assisted living facility. Yes ,that might mean that the service user does not have the mental or cognitive capacity to understand the situation fully. That doesn't mean they deserve to be talked to like this . If anything, the manager should have even more empathy,patience and understanding and either choose their words carefully or find other avenues to deal with the problem.

@HollaHolla another example of how toxic the UK is - possibly if your company (sounds like you work for a council though?), did it’s job there may not be so many angry, vulnerable general public spamming your inbox. Include diminished capacity, lack of intelligence etc and you create a rather unpleasant situation for all.

Read about this sort of thing in the daily mail all the time, xyz state body ignores such and such, leading to some awful outcome.

There is always an escalation which is ignored before things go very wrong. Before anyone blames the government for individuals not doing their jobs, councils are locally elected.

What is the relevant drip feed?

Have the recipient been harassing this person/their team? As that’s how this reads. Like they’re at the end of their tether and no longer care about politeness.

Clumsily worded but it's definitely better than an eviction letter which may be the next step...