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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find this email rude

150 replies

Holdme700 · 11/08/2023 17:58

It’s from a supported living manager to a service user. Aibu to think this isn’t the way to do with service users?

To find this email rude
OP posts:
MorganSeventh · 11/08/2023 18:50

In the light of the OP not providing the email that this was a response to, and apparently not coming back to give any context, I'm erring on the side of 'possibly very restrained in the circumstances.'

Or 'wind up.' Could always be wind up.

Reddog1 · 11/08/2023 18:53

The writer is pompous with a modest grasp of English.

The recipient is a tedious nuisance.

Bet anyone a tenner I’m right on both counts.

Neyon · 11/08/2023 18:53

Sounds like the service user has been harassing or badgering them and they're now having to be very clear that their behaviour is unacceptable.
Can't say for sure without context.

AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · 11/08/2023 18:53

Tbh regardless of the circumstances, that is not a professional email. Could the manager be entitled to feel so fed up? Yes. Is it acceptable to express that in such an email? No.

sheworemellowyellow · 11/08/2023 18:55

Are you dissatisfied and looking to get someone fired?

ChocolateCinderToffee · 11/08/2023 18:58

It sounds to me as though the sender is a vexatious complainant.

Merryoldgoat · 11/08/2023 18:59

Reddog1 · 11/08/2023 18:53

The writer is pompous with a modest grasp of English.

The recipient is a tedious nuisance.

Bet anyone a tenner I’m right on both counts.

No one sane would take that bet 🤣

CapEBarra · 11/08/2023 18:59

Sounds like they’re at the end of their tether as the recipient of an endless number of harassing emails. What was it in response to and why do you think they sent it?

mimi1962 · 11/08/2023 19:00

Id never send an email like that as an employee of anywhere, but hell there are times when I'd love to.... I think they've just had their last button pressed

GoodChat · 11/08/2023 19:01

It's incredibly rude and I don't know why anyone is suggesting context is required to establish that.

MrTiddlesTheCat · 11/08/2023 19:02

I'm autistic and have support workers, although live independently, I don't find that rude at all. It's badly written but the tone is pretty much the same that used by me and my autistic friends/family. To me it's clear and too the point. Way better than vague, read between the lines gobbledygook.

Sexnotgender · 11/08/2023 19:03

In isolation it’s rude. Can you share the email chain that prompted the response?

How many emails have been sent to the care giver?

Itsnotrightbutitsok · 11/08/2023 19:04

KrisAkabusi · 11/08/2023 18:03

Sounds like this isn't the first email that they are responding to. Is it you that has been emailed?

Exactly.

I’m sure the previous email replies were much more polite.

If this person keeps on they can call the police.

dahliadazed · 11/08/2023 19:04

I think the manager has given up being polite and needed to be be harsh and direct to the point across. I assume there have been multiple emails.

Wife2b · 11/08/2023 19:07

Clearly there has been many other emails which you have failed to provide context for. I’d be interested in the side of the writer.

DrLightman · 11/08/2023 19:09

Context????

Fuckitydoodah · 11/08/2023 19:11

It sounds like someone who's at the end of their tether. I think it really depends on the back story and the content of the email or emails that have obviously been sent by the service user.

Chowtime · 11/08/2023 19:15

It's not rude no. She said please and ended with kind regards.

enough is enough is a little bit unprofessional but rude, no

Rental101 · 11/08/2023 19:15

Not well written but seems they are being harassed .

RunningFromInsanity · 11/08/2023 19:23

Chowtime · 11/08/2023 19:15

It's not rude no. She said please and ended with kind regards.

enough is enough is a little bit unprofessional but rude, no

Dear Chow
I don’t want to help you, please go away.
Kind regards
Running

Still rude.

Fuckthatguy · 11/08/2023 19:27

Depends, state services in the UK are utterly diabolical, and clearly the needs of this service user are being ignored.

Even if these are vexations emails, they are being written for a reason.

…and the structure of that email is appalling.

YNBU

FatCatBum · 11/08/2023 19:28

Yes it's rude, but it sounds like someone who has been pushed to their limits by multiple inappropriate emails so is perhaps understandable

Carpediemmakeitcount · 11/08/2023 19:29

I worked in assisted living for old people honestly the way the staff spoke to eachother and to the residents was shocking. An elderly man was on the floor and pressed his button for help I came in called for an ambulance and waited with him making sure he was comfortable. Anyway a carer storms in telling him she can't be in two places at once WTF. I swear to god ify kids ever puts me in a shit hole like that I will disinherit them.

Carpediemmakeitcount · 11/08/2023 19:29

I worked in assisted living for old people honestly the way the staff spoke to eachother and to the residents was shocking. An elderly man was on the floor and pressed his button for help I came in called for an ambulance and waited with him making sure he was comfortable. Anyway a carer storms in telling him she can't be in two places at once WTF. I swear to god ify kids ever puts me in a shit hole like that I will disinherit them.

Takacupokindnessyet · 11/08/2023 19:29

Well it's not very professional but sounds like a lot of history behind it