Kids at the park

[Blueb3ll]

I specifically went to the park late today so it would be quiet and dd (1.5) could explore. When we turned up we were literally the only people there, but after 15 mins or so a group of kids turned up.

When the kids (4 of them, supervised by a teenager), my dd was playing on the slide. They wanted to use the slide so I moved dd and said “come on let’s use something else”, and I moved her to another part which was one of the ways up to this climbing frame. There were 4 ways to get up to this slide. Two of the kids, the same ones I moved her for, I’d say around 7&5 then decided they wanted to come up and down the part she was playing on. Didn’t say excuse me, didn’t say anything, the seven year old looking boy pushed my child out of the way by her head!!! I said “No, don’t push her”. I wasn’t angry, I was just firm.

The boy then didn’t come back but the 5 year old girl kept coming back and trying to push passed dd not saying excuse me or anything. I looked over at the teenager and she was just sat on her phone. I didn’t move dd but I didn’t stop the girl squeezing passed, I don’t think I had the right to tell the girl no go a different way so I just ignored her and carried on playing with dd.

Am I being unreasonable? I’m new to the children’s park scene but how do I handle situations like this?

I can’t believe that boy pushed my 1 year old by her head! I’m annoyed. Is this normal? I’ve never seen any kids in my family/ friends behave like this.

She will definitely do something that she knows is an absolute no no, and yes that might even be pushing a smaller child.

It was hard enough to make her cry. The sister brushed passed twice after before I got up and left with dd

I’m sorry but my 5&7 year old would be told to watch the baby once firmly and I wouldn’t then tell them off for pushing past her in frustration because they go to the park to let loose run around have fun not to tiptoe round a baby who is too wee to be on the equipment with bigger kids and is slow and just generally delicate and in there way. I’m not saying you shouldn’t take her to the park but at that age you have to expect it may not always be appropriate or safe for her to use the equipment. My boys are kind boys but honestly my 5 year old probably wouldn’t have the capacity to gauge the age or risk to your child like he wouldn’t say oh there’s a baby here I better go the opposite way he would just brush past and I would not stand and constantly say watch the baby not in that capacity/situation. If you aren’t willing to move your very young child to protect them from older kids then why should others tell there kids to watch/move/avoid little one

Like I’ve said multiple times, the brushing passed was not so much the issue it was the literal push to head from a child 6 years older. And if you’re okay with your older kids pushing passed a one year old and would turn a blind eye then that’s your parenting.

So your teaching your boys entitlement at best, and normalising violence/bullying/DV at worst?! Teaching them that they are entitled to push and potentially hurt others because they are frustrated! Wow.

Your boys, and the kids OP encountered today, have no more right to 'blow off steam' in a playground than a younger child has to explore it. You don't get to decide who you deem to be worthy of using it. Would you deem an older but disabled child unworthy because they are also vulnerable? Wound it be ok for your boys to push them because they need to blow off steam? All children should be considerate of others, end of.

I would not be ok with my kids harming an infant no but I would certainly not tell them off for playing age appropriately on the equipment it’s not their fault you would place a vulnerable child there and expect them to change there way because “they should know better” 5 is still little too and not always old enough to have adult thinking capabilities. As far as I’m concerned if you leave her there in the way with the mindset you have then it’s your fault your child gets hurt at that age if another child pushes past or physically pushes her, my kids aren’t responsible for your child. You should be watching her and removing her from unsafe situations and a baby at a park with a few other excited kids is a hazard waiting to happen. You’re coming across that you expect the whole park to pander to your little one and that’s just not realistic. If you thought the park was a safe haven for her you wouldn’t have deliberately went at a quieter time. It’s all about age appropriateness really if she was 4/5 nobody would be saying you should move her or she shouldn’t be there. Nobody’s saying she doesn’t have the same rite to play they are saying she’s currently too wee to play safely in that scenario with that age of kids

If you read what I’ve said you’ll see that I did remove her when I realised that the child was going to keep pushing passed.
i expect the whole park of 4 kids to pander to my dd by not pushing her? If you’re not going to tell your child off for pushing a one year old then good luck because if it’s someone like me who’s child it is they’re going to be told off anyways by me.

I don’t think I’m teaching them entitlement I would not stand by and watch them harm an infant and I’d like to hope they wouldn’t I know my 7 year old would know better but my 5 year old honestly wouldn’t have the capacity to grasp the age of the wee one or risk to them by being boisterous and equally I would expect a very small child of that ages parent to make sure there child was safe and not at risk form normal age appropriate play.

my 5 year old is disabled and I don’t expect anybody to tiptoe around him in play places or change how they play. It’s not other kids responsibility it’s my job to make sure he is safe and remove him from any danger whether that’s normal play from other kids or deliberate badness. I can’t expect to just leave him in the way of kids running about and hope the kids know better because he’s disabled. Kids just don’t have that thought capacity when they are little

But I didn’t leave her? I was stood right next to her playing with her.
4 children in a massive park can show consideration of a 1 year and not push her.
it is very much every kids responsibility to try play nicely in the play ground.

I appreciate that your child is small and precious to you but as a parent to a 5&7 year old my kids are small and precious to me and I personally think your expectations of my small kids are too high. Not all children will have the capacity to be considerate of a baby hogging one part of the equipment for various reasons, as I said my 5 year old is disabled he would not have the capacity to know what age your little one is and how risky his behaviour on the equipment is to her nor would his thought process be oh there is 4 other ways to get up here I’ll let her have this one to herself in this public park. He would be told to watch your child of course and made to apologise if he hurt her but ultimately he wouldn’t be told to constantly not go a specific way or stay away from your child just because there is other routes and your child wanted that one. That’s your responsibility to keep her safe if you felt it was getting too boisterous not 5 year olds who won’t be thinking oh fuck there’s a baby. Please stop going places where there is older kids and expect them to think like adults and then be weirdly proud to say you would shout at little kids for literally being kids in an environment you knew your child could get hurt because the situation you put her in wasn’t she appropriate. One day you may shout at the wrong person ☺️

"I don’t understand why people think they can just set children loose in a park and not watch them"

This is mind boggling. I take my kids to a big fencing in playpark designed especially SO I don't have to watch them. Picnic tables and benches and a huge expanse of play equipment. Kids need some space to interact and run free without parents hovering. They learn a lot physically but also socially. I follow the 2 year old so he doesn't kill himself. My 8 year old would be fucking mortified if I watched him the whole time.

I don’t understand why people think they can just set children loose in a park and not watch them.

But these are school age children. They will be used to running around school playgrounds with a handful of supervisors for the entire school.

Also, it's not just your tiny child v all these "big kids". The children might seem huge to you compared to your tiny DC, but you are an adult and you seem huge to them. And you're in their space. The playframe is not designed for adults and the onus is on them to shift out of the way so that children can play normally and their supervision of their own children doesn't block the equipment.

An adult equivalent would be stopping dead on a narrow pavement, blocking it so that other pedestrians have to either barge past you or go in the road. Sure you can do it but it's better all round if you move to the side and do your best to leave room for people to pass you.

No one is saying the 7yo was right. But you keep saying they should have used the other entrances to the equipment and that's just not how these things work at all. Aside from the push they were playing appropriately.

Aibu?

Yeah, largely.

Omg you are all awful parent, people shouldn’t have 4 kids if they can’t helicopter a 5 & 7 year old in the park!

Hope you're ok now, it is a tad dramatic but we've all overreacted about something I'm sure

“My 8 year old would be fucking mortified if I watched him the whole time”

would he really be mortified if you kept eyes on him from where your sat?

I wasn’t blocking the equipment, I wasn’t even on the equipment

You can't see kids at all times from where you're sat in parks. No one expects kids from about 4 upwards to be constantly supervised. That's why the little ones are.

If anyone says anything contrary to what your want them too here OP your being quite defensive. 5,7 too young to understand fully re asking on playfeame etc all the time sometimes they too are just overexcited and can't wait to play etc. 5 yr old still learning at that age re asking probably. 7 year old depends as probably still know right from wrong but again still a kid and won't always 'ask' if excited or in a group they can just get carried away.
I think you'll be better off in a lsrk where there's specific toddler sections or at a soft play in a baby area etc where you'll find the more gentle play/parenting taking place. I would've said take it as a one off and then just gently tell a kid if they hurt yours more than once deliberately, but you sound too anxious about the park going later etc so better off out of there as your kid may be ready for it but you definitely not yet.

They were not being supervised at all. They were dumped at a park with a teen who sat in the corner on her phone

The play ground also isn’t fenced at all. It’s just on the edge of a large field area with a river and woodland

I’ve giving people the exact some tone of replies they are giving me.
not asking is one thing, pushing a one year old is another. I’ve said constantly that I wouldn’t have posted about the 5 year old, it was the push I had a problem with. Yet everyone is focusing on the 5 year old because people on aibu just love to tell op they’re wrong

You keep coming back to this thread to argue about the 5 year old when I’ve already said multiple times that my issue wasn’t with her behaviour.

You know at soft play when older kids migrate into the under 2's area? This is the reverse of that. Climbing frames are for older kids, not 1 year olds.

Oh yes because this looks so age inappropriate for a 1.5 year old