Kids at the park

[Blueb3ll]

I specifically went to the park late today so it would be quiet and dd (1.5) could explore. When we turned up we were literally the only people there, but after 15 mins or so a group of kids turned up.

When the kids (4 of them, supervised by a teenager), my dd was playing on the slide. They wanted to use the slide so I moved dd and said “come on let’s use something else”, and I moved her to another part which was one of the ways up to this climbing frame. There were 4 ways to get up to this slide. Two of the kids, the same ones I moved her for, I’d say around 7&5 then decided they wanted to come up and down the part she was playing on. Didn’t say excuse me, didn’t say anything, the seven year old looking boy pushed my child out of the way by her head!!! I said “No, don’t push her”. I wasn’t angry, I was just firm.

The boy then didn’t come back but the 5 year old girl kept coming back and trying to push passed dd not saying excuse me or anything. I looked over at the teenager and she was just sat on her phone. I didn’t move dd but I didn’t stop the girl squeezing passed, I don’t think I had the right to tell the girl no go a different way so I just ignored her and carried on playing with dd.

Am I being unreasonable? I’m new to the children’s park scene but how do I handle situations like this?

I can’t believe that boy pushed my 1 year old by her head! I’m annoyed. Is this normal? I’ve never seen any kids in my family/ friends behave like this.

To be fair, if, as you say, she was actually stood playing with the activity wall and there was plenty of space for them to get past, you're right there was no excuse for the pushing.

Do you think he might have stumbled and reached out or was the push intentional?

If my children were on a play area and were passing a little one, I'd tell them to be very careful. If they weren't, I'd stop them from using that area of the play park.

Sorry OP, from your initial posts I thought she was just sat at the top of a ladder or something blocking its use.

You're right it's not for a 1 year old.

I'm guessing this is your pfb?
I'm 18 years in the parenting trenches and wouldn't take a 1 year old there.

But you also keep saying that they should have been using another entrance to the equipment because you'd moved your DD. That's not how it works, on equipment like that kids from about 3 will be charging around. Grown-ups keep the little ones safe by keeping them to one side.

No I don’t think it was an accident, I definitely wouldn’t have told him off if he had done it accidentally.
no, it doesn’t seem it in the pic but it’s massive. Two adults could pass eachother no problem on it
i probably should have been clearer

A one year old is fine to play on that play area.
just because you wouldn’t take a one year old there doesn’t mean my one year old can’t play there

Yes, it does absolutely look age inappropriate for a tiny 1.5 year old. 😂😂

I'm 18 years in the parenting trenches and wouldn't take a 1 year old there.

My one year old would love that play area. She'd have been climbing all over it from the day she learnt to walk.

Well, you could take your toddler to a loads of places. It doesn't mean they are age appropriate.

It’s the main park in our town and regularly adults will be up with their kids on it too. Because it’s literally massive and yes a one year old is fine to run up that

Honestly the same 3 names are going to argue with everything I say on this thread.
kids of all ages use that equipment, and regularly people will be on their with their kids.

In fairness I absolutely would have brought mine there at that age, especially my second as we'd have been there with eldest. Just would expect a not particularly relaxing time of it! And yes, keep her out of the way of the bigger kids.

Did he actually push her as in a shove, or did he just put his hand on her head as he ran past to make sure she didn't move into him/get bumped etc?

I’ve lived in this town my entire life and have taken kids and been with kids of all ages rhat use the park. Adults regularly take their little ones on it because it’s big enough for adults to walk up the paths to the tree house bit.
but as some woman from mumsnet has decided it’s inappropriate I’ll be sure to let the large town know

A literal shove to her head and she cried. I’m not unreasonable and wouldn’t have told him off at all if he would have done it to be cautious

In that case you need to accept that school age kids are often totally unaware of what us going on around them as they are solely focused on what they are doing. There's usually no malice, they just don't think.

I thought you were new to the children's park scene?

I meant that as I haven’t been taking my dd to the park park a lot. I haven’t been at the park in mum capacity much.
that doesn’t mean I haven’t been at my local park with other children and this park you actually have to walk passed to get to the larger field and river area, so even if I wasn’t visiting the park. I would have walked passed this park lots

In fact I’m early twenties and I used to use this park as a kid and my dad used to come up with us!

Good luck with the rest of your parenting journey OP, you're in for a tough one with this outlook.

With outlook that a seven year old shouldn’t push a one year old. Yes I’m sure it’s going to be quite terrible hahaha

I would have had some sympathy for you OP but the fact you went straight to abuse and snark when other people questioned your viewpoint really blows that out of the window.

It's school holidays - kids aged 5 and 7 are absolutely bang on the target market for the park to get them out during the school holidays. If you're wanting to avoid them - first thing in the day is generally a good bet, or when the schools go back.

"Having more kids than they can handle" - you showed yourself to be a total knob on this. Who's to say they're all from the same family - with the age spread you describe - they're either a really really busy family to put the Radfords to shame, have lots of twins, or there's a teen in the family who has agreed to take a couple of the kids' friends or neighbours' kids with them to give them all a bit of fresh air and a change of scenery.

Wobbly toddlers DO tend to dominate the park - it's kind of inevitable - they take up more space with a parent having to helicopter over them... they're slower getting up and down things - so for the average 5 year old with their view of time - they just see that they really want to climb up the coolest way onto the slide and that this little kid is taking forever experimenting stepping one step up and down and then they try to squish past, have just had a growth spurt and limited spatial awareness anyway - and it's too hamfisted... and they find themselves on the receiving end of a mouthful - and they just wanted to climb up the cool bit and get onto the slide. It's shit because as far as you're concerned these kids are towering bulldozers - but they're just little kids too really and they're ALL still figuring out how to coexist.

There is no "park scene" - you're going to encounter some lovely bigger kids (I can lend you DD2 who has been known to patiently wait an hour to go on the slide because of letting all the younger kids she's mothering go past her - much to her sister's annoyance!), and you're going to encounter some ones who are not parented in the way you like, do not behave in the way you like - but actually are probably decent enough kids just not of your particular "tribe".

Your little toddler will be a 5 year old towering hoodlum to another little toddler's parents before you realise it.

I'm a bit fucked off because our local social media has been a steady stream of parents whining that kids up to the age of around 9-10 have been using the play areas targeted at the age 7-12 age bracket over the holidays (our local council quite often has a younger kids play area labelled for under 7s and an other one in some parks). Where are the kids meant to go when they're no longer little dinky toddlers?! They are kids too.

No one has said it was okay for the child to push your baby's head.

My disabled 6 year old has...unreliable behaviour. I can see him doing an inappropriate push as you've described. His siblings in the instance you've described would bollock him for it out of your earshot.
But I absolutely wouldn't expect the parent of an 18 month old to allow them to use the equipment you've posted a picture of. It's not designed for babies. There must be a more appropriate play area you can take her to?
It's not ok her being pushed but you did put her in a dangerous situation and even after the push happened you didn't remove her.

My 7 year old would never push anyone of any age and if he was in a playground and other kids joined and were pushing and shoving we would just leave.

I’ll make sure to let the town full of people who use it with younger kids that you have decided it’s inappropriate, I’m sure everyone will stop taking their younger kids there immediately