Kids at the park

[Blueb3ll]

I specifically went to the park late today so it would be quiet and dd (1.5) could explore. When we turned up we were literally the only people there, but after 15 mins or so a group of kids turned up.

When the kids (4 of them, supervised by a teenager), my dd was playing on the slide. They wanted to use the slide so I moved dd and said “come on let’s use something else”, and I moved her to another part which was one of the ways up to this climbing frame. There were 4 ways to get up to this slide. Two of the kids, the same ones I moved her for, I’d say around 7&5 then decided they wanted to come up and down the part she was playing on. Didn’t say excuse me, didn’t say anything, the seven year old looking boy pushed my child out of the way by her head!!! I said “No, don’t push her”. I wasn’t angry, I was just firm.

The boy then didn’t come back but the 5 year old girl kept coming back and trying to push passed dd not saying excuse me or anything. I looked over at the teenager and she was just sat on her phone. I didn’t move dd but I didn’t stop the girl squeezing passed, I don’t think I had the right to tell the girl no go a different way so I just ignored her and carried on playing with dd.

Am I being unreasonable? I’m new to the children’s park scene but how do I handle situations like this?

I can’t believe that boy pushed my 1 year old by her head! I’m annoyed. Is this normal? I’ve never seen any kids in my family/ friends behave like this.

I can be guilty of helicoptering with mine, but it really isn't necessary once they're confident on the equipment. They're used to not having an adult hovering at all times at school or out of school clubs and it's fine to let them run off and do their own thing as long as they know where you are and they can't get lost. It's really important that they develop that independence, both physically and socially, and the playground is the perfect place to start.

Not expecting people to call the 7 year old a dick but most of the back and forth has been if my child should even be in the park actually. People on here don’t like it when you give the same attitude back that they give in comments.
”an older sibling went and had some fun at the park with their younger sibling” people on mumsnet just create stories to fit their narrative, she spent the entire time at the edge of the park on her phone, she didn’t so much as interact with them once while I was there

No one is saying your 18 month old shouldn't be at the park, most babies start going younger than that and younger siblings certainly do. It's lovely watching them develop and learn new things and enjoy themselves.

You do need to do your bit to make sure they're not in the way or at risk of getting trampled at that age though, since playgrounds are designed for running, climbing, playing older DC.

There have been multiple comments saying my child is too young to be at the park.
i did do my part when I moved her the first time, well away from where they were originally playing. How can I anticipate a 7 year old coming up suddenly and pushing her?

But you know that because your baby is only one, you need to watching her more incase anything happens. Obviously it's not okay for other kids do things they aren't meant to, but most older kids love running/climbing around everywhere and won't think about everyone else. (If it was my kids, I would make sure they at least said sorry if something like that had happened though).

How is the same piece of equipment they were playing on "well away from"?

Because it’s a large playground and it’s one of the large pieces of equipment you run around on. If I take her away from the part they came to with the slide and put her on the other end of it, I have moved well away from them.

Oh god I thought you moved her to a completely different bit of equipment. A large climbing frame is all one big big of equipment and kids that age will use it all in their play. Not that you needed to move, just make room for everyone.

I have a baby and toddler so do sympathise with older kids looking giant (and you were absolutely right to tell the boy not to push her by her head), but no, you can’t expect children not to use one entry point to a climbing frame because your child is stood there.

Parks are collective play spaces. Children are supposed to use anything that isn’t a single seat (like a swing) together.

It’s completely fine to ask children to be careful, but not to use a different piece of equipment/entrance.

My oldest is 2.5 now and I still have to stand next to the equipment and remind him to move to the side to let others pass if he doesn’t want to keep climbing. At 18 months, I climbed most things with him unless the park was empty.

You’re saying to me to make room for everyone when my tiny 1.5 year old was pushed because a 7 year old couldn’t move passed her nicely?

Again. No one thinks that the 7yo was behaving well. But also no one thinks you get to close an entrance to the equipment because your 18 month old was exploring. They're shared equipment and the 7yo was perfectly entitled to use it.

I don’t understand why people think they can just set children loose in a park and not watch them. I have a ten year older niece who I often take out and I’m constantly watching and checking in.

Whereas 10 is actually a fairly common age to start going to the park alone.

Generally the onus is going to be on the parent of the younger child to be watching more closely. Because that's just how it works, the younger ones need it more.

Again. When did I say no child could pass her?

You've repeatedly said that you think the older children should have used a different entrance.

The older ones parents should think about watching their children if their 7 year old doesn’t know not to push toddlers

yes and he should have if he hasn’t been raised well enough to move passed toddlers without pushing them

The head push was out of order, you told the kid off and he didn't do it again. Not nice, but it happens.

The nudging past a child in the way, well it's pretty standard tbh. Yes there are different ways to the equipment, but I imagine they were all different in some way which means kids often favour one route.

I do think it is more up to the parent of a very little child to make sure they aren't getting trampled in parks/the big kids bit of soft play where bigger hyper kids are charging around. Obviously I will call to my older child "mind the little one" if I see impending disaster, but I have 3 kids and am not omnipotent, so it's up to the parent of the one who's too little to hold their own.

What was your DD's reaction to the push, OP?

She cried, it made her jump

If it had just been the girl barging passed I would not have posted it, I mentioned it when I was describing what happened. Even put in my op that I don’t think I had the right to ask her to move and yet everyone is focusing on that

No matter how you raise her, over the years your DD will do many things she "knows not to".

I can guarantee my child at 7 years old will not push a one year old on the head. Most kids know that is an absolute no no

I find the responses on this thread astonishing. OPs child, even at 1.5, is perfectly entitled to play in a playground with proper supervision. Very few playgrounds have age recommendations for different areas for a start.

I am also amazed about the responses about this behaviour being 'typical' and expected of kids aged 5-7. WTF?! These are school aged children, who have an understanding of correct behaviour, rules, right and wrong etc. My DD is 5, there is no way on earth she would think it appropriate to push a younger child, let alone by their head, wether she was being supervised by ad adult, teenager or no one at all. And she would absolutely say excuse me, every time, if she needed to pass, or wait without complaint. And I would say the vast majority of children in her reception class would too.

To me it sounds very much like these children have never been supervised properly on play equipment, even when their parents take them, or pulled up on their behaviour. I would only say this behaviour is 'typical' in 5-7 year olds who are not properly parented. People complain how entitled kids are, well it's not a surprise when many parents on this thread seem to agree these children were more entitled to use the play equipment than the OPs child, and to behave how they please to boot.

Thank you! I thought I was going insane reading this thread

It doesn't sound like he pushed her hard. If he had have pushed her by the head and not just brushed past her I'm sure you would have lifted her up and got her to safety instead of leaving her there to be pushed past repeatedly