Kids at the park

[Blueb3ll]

I specifically went to the park late today so it would be quiet and dd (1.5) could explore. When we turned up we were literally the only people there, but after 15 mins or so a group of kids turned up.

When the kids (4 of them, supervised by a teenager), my dd was playing on the slide. They wanted to use the slide so I moved dd and said “come on let’s use something else”, and I moved her to another part which was one of the ways up to this climbing frame. There were 4 ways to get up to this slide. Two of the kids, the same ones I moved her for, I’d say around 7&5 then decided they wanted to come up and down the part she was playing on. Didn’t say excuse me, didn’t say anything, the seven year old looking boy pushed my child out of the way by her head!!! I said “No, don’t push her”. I wasn’t angry, I was just firm.

The boy then didn’t come back but the 5 year old girl kept coming back and trying to push passed dd not saying excuse me or anything. I looked over at the teenager and she was just sat on her phone. I didn’t move dd but I didn’t stop the girl squeezing passed, I don’t think I had the right to tell the girl no go a different way so I just ignored her and carried on playing with dd.

Am I being unreasonable? I’m new to the children’s park scene but how do I handle situations like this?

I can’t believe that boy pushed my 1 year old by her head! I’m annoyed. Is this normal? I’ve never seen any kids in my family/ friends behave like this.

The problem is they were being "looked after" in the loosest sense by somebody who did not give a shit. I would have been tempted to subtly follow them home and give social services the address. I am fed up of arsehole parents.

That’s irrelevant because I also wouldn’t do that prime time. But in a large park when there’s 4 kids?
those situations are not comparable because she wasn’t in the only piece of equipment, she’s also small enough that kids could get passed without pushing her in the head or even touching her at all. She wasn’t sat? She was stood there playing

@Blueb3ll

"Sounds like someone had too many children then they can handle them doesn’t it?"

My husband buggered off leaving me with three under 8. I had terrible problems juggling childcare in the holidays whilst trying to earn a living. He didn't bother. Think you're the one who needs to learn about manners, tbh. Don't be so judgemental.

she’s also small enough that kids could get passed without pushing her in the head or even touching her at all.

That's quite the drip feed...

But the quiet park thing works both ways - the older kids (and 5 and 7 aren't older kids in almost any other context) will also be enjoying having the run of the place.

Not a drip feed, it’s a large play ground, shes 1.5. Did you really think she sat sprawled out blocking the path? She’s tiny she was just stood there playing, in the pathway but certainly not blocking it. How would a 1.5 block a whole passageway off entirely

I thought she was on the equipment, a 1.5 year old sitting on the equipment would do a decent job of blocking it in all of the playgrounds round here.

Regardless of difficult circumstances, children should be supervised adequately. That’s not judgemental but I’m not going to pander and say oh well it’s okay for kids to be inadequately supervised because life’s tough.

No she was just stood there playing with the activity on the wall of it

I think everyone agrees that the push was unnecessary and shouldn't have happened. You should expect kids trying to come in and out of the same entrances as little ones, especially when equipment is aimed at older children.

The kids weren't unsupervised, there was someone there. I have two kids and can't simultaneously watch both, let alone 4. Parks are generally safe enough for only the little ones to need supervision, which is what you were doing.

If you go on to have another child, I guarantee you your child will be inadequately supervised at some point - because you'll be dealing with one while the other charges away and does something they shouldn't. It's just life with small kids. No one gets it right all the time or has eyes in the back of their head.

I know that's not what happened here, but none of us know why the teenager was supervising and no one is disputing that the 7yo misbehaved.

Also, as kids get older, it's good for them to run and play without a parent hovering, so even with a parent present they likely wouldn't have been telling the 7yo to go another way.

But maybe that is the bit they always go on and they love that bit? They are only little themselves and were probably excited to be at the park. I have an 18 month old and absolutely move her off the equipment if kids it’s designed for are playing on it, as otherwise she is likely to get barged. There are normally bits designed for toddlers in the parks around here so I move her to those. I remember feeling the same as you when my eldest was 1 but now totally get it.

I just tell kids to wait their turn (I tell Dd the same). They should learn to be considerate towards other kids and Dd shouldn’t have to move everytime someone else wants to have a go. It’s part of learning to function in society, to show consideration and expect to be considered.

But the OP isn't 'having a turn'. She's a baby and she can't use the equipment properly. She is - as the OP said - exploring.

She's not playing. She'd probably be just as happy in the bathroom display at B&Q

She'd probably be just as happy in the bathroom display at B&Q

OMG how much would a toddler love free reign in a bathroom showroom. Still remember mine running into a quiet one and shouting "Wow! A toilet! And another toilet! And another toilet!" at the top of her voice . Much more fun than a playground where all the equipment is just a little too big for you to be able to play properly.

Gah forgot to bold the first line.

I have 4 children and incidents like this would be water of a ducks back! I wouldn’t give them a second thought.

My children have at times been deliberately and accidentally hurt by other children - and have survived. I use it as a chance to teach them about appropriate behavior. My children have also hurt others on occasion.

With my first child i was definitely very worried and protective- by the 4th, not so much! I actually find the 4th child is very resilient and well able to stand up for herself because of this. With my first I was hovering around him anxiously looking out for the slightest thing that could hurt him.

Social services?? Talk about an over reaction! 😂😂

and who gave you executive decision making in what type of equipment use is proper or play?

I wouldn’t expect the “Excuse me”’s that you refer to but I would have had a firm word about pushing her head.
In that scenario (where they have no adult supervision other than a teenager on their phone) I would probably take the lead parent role for all!!
But as others have said the park is a minefield and you have to suck some of it up!!

Fuck me. You're in for a hard life.

Yeah I also used to dread going to the park with my DC when they were small. Unfortunately not uncommon to encounter other children violently pushing, stepping over etc smaller children. Even with parents present - often chatting away, zoned on their phones or simply not caring. I used to watch my DCs like a hawk. Still remember something that quite shocked me, a much older girl nearly kicked my toddler DD in the chin and as she barely missed, she continued moving dangerously around DD. I of course immediately ran over and removed DD, all the while the girl's mother was stood up right next to her witnessing everything and saying absolutely nothing. I honestly couldn't believe it.
What your DD experienced was horrible, doesn't matter if she cried or if she was injured or not. And to be honest, a 7 year old should know better than to be pushing a small child by the head.

i don’t think so as fortunately when I speak to people outside of mumsnet, very few of them tend to be like you

Weird that you felt the need to ask here then if you have loads of people outside MN telling you that your expectations of playgrounds are totally normal.

It's not unreasonable for you not to want your kid to be hit in the head by another kid but Jesus Christ.

I don't think anyone has actually said anything along the lines of "yeah she deserved it" but you seem to be trying to find an argument over most of the comments because not everyone has called the 7 year old a dick.

Apparently people are having too many kids because an older sibling went and had some fun at the park with their younger sibling too? Mental.

Basing from this thread, I’m not looking forward to these park visits.
I don’t understand why people think they can just set children loose in a park and not watch them. I have a ten year older niece who I often take out and I’m constantly watching and checking in. It was my first occasion for something like this with dd and think that’s why it threw me. I obviously knew kids are boisterous but I was shocked at the pushing and completely unamused at the teen “watching” them.