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AIBU?

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Original poster

Kids at the park

405 replies

Blueb3ll · 10/08/2023 19:42

I specifically went to the park late today so it would be quiet and dd (1.5) could explore. When we turned up we were literally the only people there, but after 15 mins or so a group of kids turned up.

When the kids (4 of them, supervised by a teenager), my dd was playing on the slide. They wanted to use the slide so I moved dd and said “come on let’s use something else”, and I moved her to another part which was one of the ways up to this climbing frame. There were 4 ways to get up to this slide. Two of the kids, the same ones I moved her for, I’d say around 7&5 then decided they wanted to come up and down the part she was playing on. Didn’t say excuse me, didn’t say anything, the seven year old looking boy pushed my child out of the way by her head!!! I said “No, don’t push her”. I wasn’t angry, I was just firm.

The boy then didn’t come back but the 5 year old girl kept coming back and trying to push passed dd not saying excuse me or anything. I looked over at the teenager and she was just sat on her phone. I didn’t move dd but I didn’t stop the girl squeezing passed, I don’t think I had the right to tell the girl no go a different way so I just ignored her and carried on playing with dd.

Am I being unreasonable? I’m new to the children’s park scene but how do I handle situations like this?

I can’t believe that boy pushed my 1 year old by her head! I’m annoyed. Is this normal? I’ve never seen any kids in my family/ friends behave like this.

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 11/08/2023 09:32

Your child is too young for the playground by the sound of it. Live and learn, go back when there is no one else around like during school Time for them to " explore" Better still, find a toddler park. Yabu.

Original poster
Blueb3ll · 11/08/2023 09:36

CoffeeWithCheese · 11/08/2023 09:18

I would have had some sympathy for you OP but the fact you went straight to abuse and snark when other people questioned your viewpoint really blows that out of the window.

It's school holidays - kids aged 5 and 7 are absolutely bang on the target market for the park to get them out during the school holidays. If you're wanting to avoid them - first thing in the day is generally a good bet, or when the schools go back.

"Having more kids than they can handle" - you showed yourself to be a total knob on this. Who's to say they're all from the same family - with the age spread you describe - they're either a really really busy family to put the Radfords to shame, have lots of twins, or there's a teen in the family who has agreed to take a couple of the kids' friends or neighbours' kids with them to give them all a bit of fresh air and a change of scenery.

Wobbly toddlers DO tend to dominate the park - it's kind of inevitable - they take up more space with a parent having to helicopter over them... they're slower getting up and down things - so for the average 5 year old with their view of time - they just see that they really want to climb up the coolest way onto the slide and that this little kid is taking forever experimenting stepping one step up and down and then they try to squish past, have just had a growth spurt and limited spatial awareness anyway - and it's too hamfisted... and they find themselves on the receiving end of a mouthful - and they just wanted to climb up the cool bit and get onto the slide. It's shit because as far as you're concerned these kids are towering bulldozers - but they're just little kids too really and they're ALL still figuring out how to coexist.

There is no "park scene" - you're going to encounter some lovely bigger kids (I can lend you DD2 who has been known to patiently wait an hour to go on the slide because of letting all the younger kids she's mothering go past her - much to her sister's annoyance!), and you're going to encounter some ones who are not parented in the way you like, do not behave in the way you like - but actually are probably decent enough kids just not of your particular "tribe".

Your little toddler will be a 5 year old towering hoodlum to another little toddler's parents before you realise it.

I'm a bit fucked off because our local social media has been a steady stream of parents whining that kids up to the age of around 9-10 have been using the play areas targeted at the age 7-12 age bracket over the holidays (our local council quite often has a younger kids play area labelled for under 7s and an other one in some parks). Where are the kids meant to go when they're no longer little dinky toddlers?! They are kids too.

well what will I do without your sympathy?

I’ve been abusive but you’re okay to call me a knob, but I’ve called no one names? Nice logic there

a massive park and 4 kids, yes I’m sure my dd was dominating the park lol

all 5 kids could share the large park quite nicely without pushing. I don’t think the kids are little hoodlums, I think the push was bad mannered.

they were not all 5-7, that’s the two children I described. They might not have been from the same family, despite looking very similar, you’ve taken my reply to a comment.

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 11/08/2023 09:39

Blueb3ll · 10/08/2023 20:22

Hahahaha, get a grip. I don’t fucking think so

Show quote history

What do you mean you don't think so? They already have been pushed and shoved according to your OP
School holidays syndrome showing in this post, boring.

Original poster
Blueb3ll · 11/08/2023 09:42

RedHelenB · 11/08/2023 09:39

What do you mean you don't think so? They already have been pushed and shoved according to your OP
School holidays syndrome showing in this post, boring.

Show quote history

Yes and it won’t be happening again because now I’m aware there’s 7 year old children who think it’s okay to push a one year old by the head and will be there to stop it ahead of time

OP posts:
CoffeeWithCheese · 11/08/2023 09:52

I think we get a picture for what's happening here.

DemBonesDemBones · 11/08/2023 09:54

@Blueb3ll I'm sure siblings of older kids use it but really there's no reason you need to take her there and put her in danger. If you're unsure where to take her ask other parents or maybe your town has a Facebook page where you could ask for ideas?

KeepYaHeadUp · 11/08/2023 10:00

@Blueb3ll / it's a large park. It would entail following him round

Original poster
Blueb3ll · 11/08/2023 10:07

KeepYaHeadUp · 11/08/2023 10:00

@Blueb3ll / it's a large park. It would entail following him round

And if your children think it’s okay to push one year olds by the head then perhaps you should be following him around

OP posts:
Sunshineclouds11 · 11/08/2023 10:11

And if your children think it’s okay to push one year olds by the head then perhaps you should be following him around

I think you have to be abit realistic here.

With out a doubt your child, as some point, will hit, push etc when your not looking. How are you going to react then?

Original poster
Blueb3ll · 11/08/2023 10:14

Sunshineclouds11 · 11/08/2023 10:11

And if your children think it’s okay to push one year olds by the head then perhaps you should be following him around

I think you have to be abit realistic here.

With out a doubt your child, as some point, will hit, push etc when your not looking. How are you going to react then?

My dd when she is 7 is not going to think it’s okay to push a 1 year old by the head. If she’s not old enough to know not to push toddlers around by the head, I wouldn’t leave her unsupervised around other children.

OP posts:
SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 11/08/2023 10:17

The child should not have pushed your child by the head. That was wrong and you're right to have told them off. But this is the sort of behaviour you need to expect.
Kids will push, shove, bite, hit, scream, snatch etc. Even well behaved children will do things they shouldn't. Kids will be unpredictable as well.

My very well behaved 6 year old very randomly poured all my shampoo down the drain the other day. Literally has never done anything similar in the past so never considered I needed to hide my shampoo. He couldn't even answer why he did it.

Kids are just weird creatures. Perhaps this child has been to that park multiple times with his mum and never misbehaved like that so she felt it was fine to trust them to behave with their older sister/baby sitter/cousin.

You cannot expect every child to behave as you think they should. Hope for the best, expect the worst. You can tell us until you're blue in the face that your child will never do this, but they will. You'll let your guard down and they will. Live and learn.

Sunshineclouds11 · 11/08/2023 10:24

My dd when she is 7 is not going to think it’s okay to push a 1 year old by the head. If she’s not old enough to know not to push toddlers around by the head, I wouldn’t leave her unsupervised around other children.

Not saying the head pushing is fine cause it's not. But what I mean is your DD will do things you won't see, or so quick you can't stop it.

Goldbar · 11/08/2023 10:32

Blueb3ll · 11/08/2023 10:14

My dd when she is 7 is not going to think it’s okay to push a 1 year old by the head. If she’s not old enough to know not to push toddlers around by the head, I wouldn’t leave her unsupervised around other children.

Show quote history

Children aren't robots. Even the most well-behaved child can surprise and mortify you some.

surreygirl1987 · 11/08/2023 10:34

My dd when she is 7 is not going to think it’s okay to push a 1 year old by the head. If she’s not old enough to know not to push toddlers around by the head, I wouldn’t leave her unsupervised around other children.

Oh jeez. You have a rude awakening ahead of you.
I'm sure your daughter, when she is 7, will not think it's okay to push a 1 year old by the head. But I'm also sure that your daughter will do things you don't expect, and you will only know that AFTER the event. Come back to this thread in 6 years!

surreygirl1987 · 11/08/2023 10:37

Your child is too young for the playground by the sound of it. Live and learn, go back when there is no one else around like during school Time for them to " explore" Better still, find a toddler park. Yabu.

Absolutely this. Also, I wonder what the intended age range was of the playground the OP was in... bet it was closer to 5-7 than 1!!

LuvSmallDogs · 11/08/2023 10:37

Tbh OP, you are a first time mum to one who is very little - at an age where any and all bad behaviour will get written off by strangers and family alike as due to her age rather than a failing in your parenting and big kids are easy to over estimate in terms of their maturity.

You are in the honeymoon stage of parenting. We were all there once. I've seen no post condoning the head push, that was wrong, but the fact he didn't do anything else violent after a telling off means he is far from the worst behaved child you and your DD will meet.

Would I let my little one play on that? Sure. Would I tell off a kid who pushed my kid like that? Sure. Would I post here about it? No, because after 9 years I have seen far, far worse.

surreygirl1987 · 11/08/2023 10:42

I can guarantee my child at 7 years old will not push a one year old on the head.

WOW 🤣

Original poster
Blueb3ll · 11/08/2023 10:43

Sunshineclouds11 · 11/08/2023 10:24

My dd when she is 7 is not going to think it’s okay to push a 1 year old by the head. If she’s not old enough to know not to push toddlers around by the head, I wouldn’t leave her unsupervised around other children.

Not saying the head pushing is fine cause it's not. But what I mean is your DD will do things you won't see, or so quick you can't stop it.

But my child won’t be one of four dumped at a park with a teen on their phone.

OP posts:
Sunshineclouds11 · 11/08/2023 10:47

But my child won’t be one of four dumped at a park with a teen on their phone.

That makes no difference.

Your darling daughter is going to hurt someone at some point, it's inevitable, they all do it at some point.

Good luck for that stage.

Original poster
Blueb3ll · 11/08/2023 10:50

Sunshineclouds11 · 11/08/2023 10:47

But my child won’t be one of four dumped at a park with a teen on their phone.

That makes no difference.

Your darling daughter is going to hurt someone at some point, it's inevitable, they all do it at some point.

Good luck for that stage.

Yes it does make a difference.

OP posts:
Prinnny · 11/08/2023 10:54

Why didn’t you pull your baby towards you when you could see an older child trying to get past? If you had then there would have been no frustrated boy and no opportunity for pushing. Surely that’s the obvious thing to do? You need to be on top her of her in full helicopter mode if you want to take her to a playpark designed for older children in the summer holidays and don’t even think about soft play if this is how you are!

Original poster
Blueb3ll · 11/08/2023 10:56

Prinnny · 11/08/2023 10:54

Why didn’t you pull your baby towards you when you could see an older child trying to get past? If you had then there would have been no frustrated boy and no opportunity for pushing. Surely that’s the obvious thing to do? You need to be on top her of her in full helicopter mode if you want to take her to a playpark designed for older children in the summer holidays and don’t even think about soft play if this is how you are!

Because there was so much room to get passed that he didn’t need to push her out of the way to get passed.

OP posts:
Hufflepods · 11/08/2023 10:59

But my child won’t be one of four dumped at a park with a teen on their phone.

God forbid a teenager take their siblings to the park.

I'm sure you will be there to oversee every single interaction your child ever has with an older child. 🙄

Jamtartforme · 11/08/2023 11:01

@Prinnny because she wasn’t able to time travel 30 seconds into the future and see what was going to happen? Some of these replies are just childish.

Parents shouldn’t have to snatch up their toddler every time an older child comes into its orbit in case the older child shoves them by the head. That’s very much the fault of the older child and the person supposed to be watching them.

Original poster
Blueb3ll · 11/08/2023 11:06

Hufflepods · 11/08/2023 10:59

But my child won’t be one of four dumped at a park with a teen on their phone.

God forbid a teenager take their siblings to the park.

I'm sure you will be there to oversee every single interaction your child ever has with an older child. 🙄

If you think it’s appropriate for a teen to sit on their phone while they’re supposed to be watching 4 children in an open park then okay I guess

OP posts: