Kids at the park

[Blueb3ll]

I specifically went to the park late today so it would be quiet and dd (1.5) could explore. When we turned up we were literally the only people there, but after 15 mins or so a group of kids turned up.

When the kids (4 of them, supervised by a teenager), my dd was playing on the slide. They wanted to use the slide so I moved dd and said “come on let’s use something else”, and I moved her to another part which was one of the ways up to this climbing frame. There were 4 ways to get up to this slide. Two of the kids, the same ones I moved her for, I’d say around 7&5 then decided they wanted to come up and down the part she was playing on. Didn’t say excuse me, didn’t say anything, the seven year old looking boy pushed my child out of the way by her head!!! I said “No, don’t push her”. I wasn’t angry, I was just firm.

The boy then didn’t come back but the 5 year old girl kept coming back and trying to push passed dd not saying excuse me or anything. I looked over at the teenager and she was just sat on her phone. I didn’t move dd but I didn’t stop the girl squeezing passed, I don’t think I had the right to tell the girl no go a different way so I just ignored her and carried on playing with dd.

Am I being unreasonable? I’m new to the children’s park scene but how do I handle situations like this?

I can’t believe that boy pushed my 1 year old by her head! I’m annoyed. Is this normal? I’ve never seen any kids in my family/ friends behave like this.

But surely it’s just common sense? You see a bigger child coming so you either pull them towards you or place your body inbetween them? Especially if they’re in an age inappropriate play park! I just wouldn’t take the risk, I would always try and safeguard my child from larger children using the equipment, which has always worked for me as she’s never been hit on the head!

I do believe the teen was only there for worst case scenario eg bleeding profusely , broken leg otherwise she did nothing wrong .

my personal feeling is there’s a lot of guilty over defensive parents on here who know they don’t do as much as they could to stop their kids behaving badly outside the house. So now they’re piling on OP and relishing sticking the boot in.

I guarantee had one of those kids run off somewhere and got lost everyone would be saying ‘who the hell was supposed to be watching them?’. Yes, shock horror, kids need supervision at parks, even from a distance the teen should’ve seen what happened told the 7 year old off. And if you don’t think a teen is mature enough to be doing this they shouldn’t be looking after the kids to start with.

They had a whole park to play in, OP wasn’t stopping them from playing. I’ve noticed it’s common in parks for kids to see another child playing on something then suddenly want to play on the same thing even if they weren’t interested in it before. This happens all the time with my 4 year old. Usually they just stand irritatingly close and stare at you until your kid gets off it, if they climbed on and shoved her by the head I would yell at them. Yep, go ahead and flame me.

If OP said ‘AIBU to grab my child every time a larger one comes near’ what do YOU think the responses would be? ‘YABU and very precious OP. Other kids aren’t wild animals, you should let your child interact without fear’.

And you know it.

In an open park, that others have to walk passed to get to the woodland area and river? That’s just irresponsible in ways other than other children interacting

I think the responses would be that if you take an 18MO baby to explore a play park designed for older children in the school holidays then you have to be prepared to helicopter them.

Even the most well-behaved child will do something they shouldn't when they're over-excited or angry. I see it a lot in my primary school. Sometimes we need to let a parent know - either so that they can help nip it in the bud or if it's a more serious incident. I've lost count of the number of times I've heard, "But my child would never do something like that!" I know that the child has done it, because I saw it happen.

I don't think anyone has said that it was okay for a child to push another child's head. What people are trying to get across is that it's not a sign that the 7yr-old needs to be closely supervised at all times. An adult told them to stop and they did so.

The park is probably one of the few places left where a child can run around and have a bit of freedom.

You think it’s not a sign, others may think it’s not a sign, some people think it is a sign. What people are trying to get across is their opinion, that doesn’t mean I have to agree.

I'm at a busy playground right now. The majority of parents are on benches talking to friends or on their phones. It's only the ones with little ones that are following them around.

Regardless, you are still responsible for the behaviour of kids in your care. That might not mean being close enough to stop them misbehaving but it definitely means being aware enough that if they shove a much smaller child you intervene and tell them off.

Of course, but I'm not going to police my five year old passing a toddler, nor tell her to avoid a whole section of climbing frame because an 18 month old is exploring

I hope you would tell her not to shove past another smaller child if there clearly wasn’t space for both of them. If another kid is playing on something I just steer mine to something else 🤷🏼‍♀️ ‘Oooh look DD, the swings free, race you there, we will come back after this child has had their turn’. She’s 4 but by 7 I hope she will be able to play nicely without these reminders.

Gosh for someone with an 18 month old, you sure have a lot of free time for arguing with people on the internet

Can you just clarify what you actually want from this thread?

You don't seem to want other people's views or opinions. You don't agree with the advice or comments from the majority of posters. Kids are going to get hurt at the hands of other children. It's a fact of life. People are just explaining to you how you can protect your child more by highlighting things you can/should expect. But you just keep saying no...

yes because 18 month olds are never watched by people other than their mum are they

Actually a lot of comments have been rather unhelpful from a select handful of people. Don’t make out like every comment here has been with helpful intentions because it’s bullshit

Well my 5yo tends to the other end of the scale so we have to work on helping her be a bit more assertive as she's the kids who stands back at the top of the slide on busy days while everyone overtakes her.

But no, if she was running past a toddler (which was the 5yo in question, not the 7yo pushing) I certainly wouldn't be telling her to leave that whole section of equipment to a toddler.

Swings, roundabouts, seesaws etc sure but not something meant for communal use

This may be hard for you to believe but 5 and 7 year olds do not require the same level of supervision as your 1 year old.
Your 1 year old needs followed around and watched at all times because the is young, unsteady, small and realistically not able to cope with a large climbing frame without adult support.
What do you think happens when they are in school?? The 5 year old is in a class with a ration of about 1:30 and even less supervision while running around the playground.

Sorry, I voted YABU because you let them keep pushing past her. I would have told them no, then told the teen they needed to supervise.

A 5 and 7yo pushing a baby? They know better.

At any point did I say the required the same amount?
if you don’t think you have to watch a 5-7 year old then good for you

Don’t worry I did move her the second time when I realised it wasn’t a mistake and was going to keep happening

Inadequate supervision appears to be a theme of the thread 😉

Not a good situation but honestly there's nothing more frustrating for under 7s than having to dodge the toddlers at a playpark.
Not justifying pushing but kids are used to having to fight their own corners at these places.
I think you were unlucky

I’m not supervising my child sweetie

The entire schooling system agrees that a 5 year old doesn’t need constant supervision.
It’s just you and your extremely limited experience of parenting that disagrees.